What A Terrible Existence

I'm on Twitter and I am there promoting the messages about relationships, dating, marriage, gender relations, etc. that I do here. I link to this blog in some of my tweets. [This entry has been bumped up.]

Some people who don't like what I say, instead of explaining why, call me an incel. That's short for involuntarily celibate. Celibate means unmarried, but people often use it to mean chaste, for some reason. Trying to insult me by calling me an incel shows that they don't know the first thing about me.

I'm married. I'm not an incel. I'm a regretmarried. And we do have sex. Just not nearly often enough and generally not as good as the sex I got when I wasn't married.

Another way someone tries to insult me instead of actually discussing what I write is by saying things like:

"I really pity your wife."

Hmmm. Let's consider my wife's situation.

1. She thinks she has a great marriage. This isn't just what she tells me, it is what she tells others when she doesn't think I will know, people who won't be talking to anyone else about it, so if she was having a terrible marriage, she could tell them them that.

2. My wife says she has the life she's always wanted.

3. I earn the income. Because of my hard work and decisions, her bills are paid whether we stay married or not, whether I live or die.

4. I do most of the chores and errands.

5. I give her romance as well as emotional and physical affection as often and as much as she'll allow. I've never turned down a request she's had when it comes to sex (I don't get the same from her.) I'm more focused on her orgasms than my own.

6. She has control over the big TV. My income pays for various streaming subscriptions I never use, her phone, her tablet, etc. because my income pays for everything.

7. I look out for her, care for her, make what she wants happen in as much as it is possible. In fact, I've literally saved her life.

She's not lacking anything she needs nor hardly anything she wants.

Ah, but what do I require from her? Good question. She does some of the shopping, especially for holidays. She does some of the driving to get the kids to where they need to go [UPDATE: Not since she totaled one of our vehicles - I currently do all of our driving]. She handles a little paperwork about once per year. She's had to put up with me losing my temper sometimes (it's pretty rare now), which involves me yelling inside our home; never throwing or breaking anything, never physical aggression. [UPDATE: Haven't yelled in a long time.]

I'd like for her to do more and to do some things differently, but I found talking about that makes things worse. So I stopped. And as I've become used to being that boiling frog, I don't get angry nearly as often, and that's why I lose my temper less and less often; I have fewer horrible surprises to deal with. I handle things through therapy and doing things like writing here.

Yeah, it must be terrible for her.

To my wife's credit, she does say "Thank you" often. There ARE women who are ungrateful. They get to live somewhere and have their bills taken care of, a car, phone, etc., sometimes without having to raise kids, and yet they are ungrateful. I can't imaging being like that.

My wife has also kept her hair long, and still has her looks and figure in so far as aging and having had kids will allow. I'm thankful she's not like so many other wives who literally chop their hair off after the wedding and start blimping up.