Are You Lonely at This Special Time?

Guys, are you feeling down because you think you should have a "special woman" in your life? Maybe as your wife? And you don't?

Does it seem like everyone is happy and together with a partner?

There's a guy I've known for my entire adult life. We're not close, but he's been an acquaintance all along. He gets on social media and complains about being alone. It's pathetic. And if his social media postings weren't obvious enough already, he's started to talk about mental illness.

Doing stuff like that is a good way to drive any potential partners away, at least the healthy ones.

This is a guy who is gainfully employed and living in one the best places to live in the world.

But I get it. Brain chemistry doesn't care if you're better off than most of the world.

There are men out there, and maybe you're one them, who is feeling lonely and you ache for a girlfriend. A wife. You think that's what's missing from your life. You think that having that special lady would make everything better.

Most of you are wrong, though. Most of you would still feel like crap and you might even be far worse off, having brought someone else's problems into your life and having someone around who can't, and might not even try, to make you happy.

Life isn't like movies or television. A lot of your friends and neighbors and coworkers and social media contacts are putting on a good front. They want people around them, like you, to see things in their life as wonderful. Maybe they're even trying to convince themselves or even "manifest" or "claim" good things by saying things are great.

But behind closed doors, it is a different story.

What is it you REALLY feel like you're missing?

Sex? Physical affection? Companionship? Someone in your life who cares about you?

You can have all of those things without a girlfriend. And if you have a moral problem with casual sex, well... as someone who likes sex very, very much, I recognize that sometimes, it is better to go without it than deal with everything that comes with relationships.

For most of you lonely guys, getting a girlfriend might make you happy for a season, and maybe even a few years, maybe. But then she'd leave, or the misery would set in. It's even worse when you think that marrying her will "fix" things and worse still when you think that having a child with her will fix things, and then you realize it hasn't. It likely has made things worse.

The grass may appear to be greener on the other side, but it ain't necessarily so.

If you "can't" or really don't want to "go home" to your parents' or sibling's place at these special times, rescue a dog. Make friends, especially with other people who are in the same situation, with whom you can hang out on these special occasions. Work. There are people who do. Learn to enjoy your own company.

Whatever you do, don't go on social media under your real profile and say you're lonely. It's completely counterproductive. People see you as desperate and pathetic, and maybe you are, but having other people see you that way makes it less likely you're going to attract decent company.

What's REALLY pathetic is being stuck trying to raise your kids, who have problems inherited and inflicted by their mother, for which you were totally unprepared, which makes things worse. It's pathetic know that whether I leave or stay, my wife will be supported by me for the rest of her life even though I'm not getting nearly what I need out of our marriage.

I wish I had time to myself. When I'm not working I'm almost always looking after my kids and/or my wife, and when the kids are with family, my wife usually has me doing chores and errands. I write stuff for this blog during "stolen" moments, usually while I'm waiting on something.