Recent Dear Abby Columns Should Be a Warning Against Marrying

A couple of recent Dear Abby columns caught my eye. You can really learn a lot about why you don't want to get married or have children by reading Dear Abby.

SPOIL ME, PLEASE, IN OHIO wrote:

My husband and I have been happily married for seven years. He recently graduated from his final residency, and after 11 years of post-high school education, he is finally out practicing.

During all those years, I supported us financially.

Awwww, how nice!
Except that she was clearly looking at the situation as a financial investment for her own selfish desires.

Once he graduated, I asked that eventually I get a nice piece of jewelry to commemorate our accomplishment (and his nice new salary).

Ah ha!

He bought me a lovely pearl ring, but it isn't real.

Sure it's real. It's not imaginary, is it?

It doesn't have natural diamonds, and it isn't white gold. To me, it doesn't commemorate the accomplishment as much as a real one. We could have afforded a nice costume ring years ago. I wanted to be spoiled a bit.

Sounds like you're already there. Maybe he wants to put the money into, oh, saving for the future?!?\

Am I allowed to say something, or should I "appreciate the thought"?

Keep quiet and take out your revenge bit by bit for the rest of his life. That's the American wife way! Well, kind of. Whining about it first often happens, too.

What was Dear Abby's response???

Your husband, the doctor, may be a jewel, but after supporting him for 11 years, you deserve better than what you were given.

Would DA ever write that a husband who supported a wife deserves some expensive, pointless gift from her? She made a calculated investment. Her reward will likely be lifetime financial support.

She'll be fortunate if he doesn't do what many other men in his position do: dump her for a younger, hotter model.

From a different day's column comes this, from JESSICA, MATRON OF HONOR:

My younger sister is planning a destination wedding this summer.

Wedding are bad enough. Let's make everyone travel to somewhere else!!!

Recently she had a courthouse wedding for health insurance purposes because she's going back to school full-time.

So she's married. Forget the "wedding". And her husband is being foolish.

I am the matron of honor and she also has a maid of honor (which I am confused about; can you have both?).

Brides can have ANYTHING they want!!!

She is still planning her destination wedding because she won't consider herself "really married" until the formal ceremony.

So I guess she's not having sex or living together then, right?

I told her I didn't feel comfortable throwing a bachelorette party since she's already married.

I WONDER why THAT would be the case??? Could it have anything to do with whipped cream?

I thought a lingerie bridal shower would be nice since they have been living together for some time and don't need household items.

So, essentially, you'd be having a party in anticipation of another party on a vacation to celebrate that a wealth transfer contract had previously been signed.

I feel it should be lightheartedly disclosed on the bridal shower invitation that they are already married. Is this OK?

The whole thing is a farce.