Dr. Laura Is Debuting a New Podcast

After dropping one "live" program a week (usually Fridays), Dr. Laura is debuting a new podcast, "Deep Dive."

As I write this, I haven't heard it as it is scheduled to debut tomorrow. When she announced this, I expected it to be new content, as opposed to her main podcast, which is her "live" program of that day (usually... sometimes it is a past program) posted with the breaks removed, and her popular "Call of the Day" podcast, which features one call from her program. However, upon thinking about it more, I would not be surprised if at least some of the episodes will be monologues she did during her program.

But even if it is all new, the question becomes "Why drop down from five to four live programs per week, only to end up doing a new podcast?"

There are many possible reasons.

The live program relies heavily on phone callers, and that is becoming a problem for many programs as fewer people are willing to make actual phone calls. A podcast doesn't need any callers. The live program, if done live for all three hours, requires at least three hours of work, whereas a podcast can be much shorter, even something like 15 or 20 minutes, and even if Dr. Laura does research for an episode, the total time can be much less than three hours. But she doesn't necessarily need to read or watch anything new. She can speak well on a topic for 20 minutes easily. By her own statements, she doesn't argue or debate. So with a podcast, she can speak her mind about a topic and her call screeners won't have to deal with anyone wanting to argue (although some might people might try to call the live program to argue after hearing the Deep Dive podcast).

My guess is the podcast will be much like the monologues she does on her her live programs, and whenever she says "I want to talk about the last call some more" and goes on for ten minutes. For example, she's almost certainly going to talk about why she advises against daycare, casual sex, living together without a state marriage license, and marrying when you have minor children with someone else. There will be lectures on how to have a good life after a bad childhood. Things like that.

We'll see.

Listeners should definitely expect advertisements, since the podcast is being offered for free. There will probably be ads/mentions of sponsors at the start and end of the podcast as well as in the middle of it.

The podcast will certainly be used to try to get people to listen to her main program, which they can do by paying for SiriusXM or the podcast of that program (through her website). The frustrating thing about that for many people will be their desire to argue about something said on Deep Dive, but not being able to do so because it won't be allowed on the live program. The best they can do is either blog (like me) or post their responses on social media, email Dr. Laura, or call up the live program with a request for "clarification" and then sneak in their argument as part of their question. But with that last method, Dr. Laura will hang up on them and talk about five minutes asserting that "all the research" supports her position.

The State of My Union

To give you an idea of where I'm coming from, I will occasionally provide some updates and general evaluation of my current life.

I'm a husband and father. We have pets. My wife and I are homeowners with a mortgage that's probably less than a third of the value of the house right now. We have no other debt; we don't carry credit card debt beyond the free monthly limit. I'm the breadwinner. I don't hate what I do to earn money but much of it I only do for the money; it's not what I wish I was doing. I earn more than the average for the area in an area that is generally higher than the national average. Our kids are minors.

Thankfully, I'm not in bad health (as far as I know) but I could be more healthy.

Cutting Back 20 Percent

I've written much about the Dr. Laura Program on this blog.

I remain a fan of the program and the woman who hosts it, even though there are a few serious things with which I disagree. I think she mostly gets things right.

Sometime last year, Dr. Laura started taking one day per week off, almost always on Friday. "Best of" recordings are played on Friday or whichever day she takes off, and offered for the podcast listeners.

This means a 20-percent reduction in new content, since it is a weekday program.

Actually, that's not entirely accurate because often, during the four live programs, previously aired calls are played, and not just when there are technical problems. Dr. Laura tends to confirm to the audience when there were technical problems and thus recordings were played.

No, these previously aired calls are slipped in without any acknowledgement that they are previously aired calls, perhaps due to a lack of people calling in or Dr Laura needing to handle something (she works from her home).

Some podcast subscribers, who are paying, are asking if the price will be reduced or not. Asking that question on the program's social media might result in a ban.

The reduction in new, live content must be fine with SiriusXM, because she signed a new contract with them late last year and the days off and the repeat calls have continued.

This reminds me of how Howard Stern cut back on his live shows (I know Dr. Laura hates to be mentioned in the same place as him, but this is strictly about schedules.) I remember when Johnny Carson, in later years of hosting The Tonight Show, in addition to all the weeks he took off, would work Tuesday through Thursday. Jay Leno did the Monday shows and repeats were aired Fridays, or Carson would record two shows on Thursday.

As I was writing this, another ongoing thing occurred again: Someone botched the podcast. The podcast is supposed to be the program that aired that day, uploaded as one recording for each hour, with the breaks removed. Sometimes a segment gets repeated (thus replacing a segment), sometimes the hour get cut short (for example, it will be 37 minutes instead of the 48ish it normally is), and sometimes, like this time, the wrong hour gets uploaded. This time it was especially noticeable because instead of being an hour from a couple of weeks ago, it was the second hour of yesterday's program being uploaded again as the third hour. Mistakes happen. But when they aren't corrected, and asking about them on the program's social media can result in being blocked, that's not a good look. Will this latest one get corrected? Based on experience... It might. It might not. [UPDATE: It was fixed.]

Like me, you might find it is still worth it to pay for the program. Bit understand you're getting four programs per week, not five, and some of the four new programs contain content you'll start to recognize as having aired before.

Why Do You Read This Blog?

I'd  like to "hear" from you, especially if you're a returning reader. Leave a comment below. You can post anonymously. If you don't want your comment published, say so in the comment and I will delete it after reading it. Comments have to be approved before they can be published.

You don't have to be supportive. Maybe you come here because you hate what I write. Maybe you like it when I write about being miserable (when I do). That's fine, too. Just let me know why you read this blog. If you want more of something or less of something, say so. I might not adjust in a way you like, but maybe I will.

So... tell me. 

Thanks.

No, Really, I Need A Vacation

I'm not talking about a family vacation. We haven't done one of  those in forever, either.

I'm talking about being away from being a husband (butler) and father.

This is a follow up to this entry.

I think it was a year and a half ago, or so, that I got away for a few days, but that was basically to work with a friend of mine. It could hardly be called a vacation.

I don't need to go anywhere. My wife and our kids could go somewhere. The thing is, they're not going to go anywhere together without me. They'd need to be split up. Likewise, they aren't going to all be home together without me, unless it needs to be that way for work for a few days.

Work.  Heck, as long as it was working from home, it would feel like a vacation (staycation) as long as I didn't have to handle chores and errands, or deal with disputes between the rest of the family.

But... there are pets who'd need care. Pets I didn't want to get because of the expense, the mess, and I knew it would mean more work for me and be limiting as far as getting away.

I'm not talking about  need to see sights or do various activities.

I just want to relax and have a lack of stress for several days.

I want to be able to sleep as long as I want, wake up because I want to wake up and not because something needs to get done right now.

I want to read what I want to read, write what I want to write, watch what I want to watch, listen to what I want to listen to... without interruption, without someone else around who might not like it.

I want to relax in pool that isn't cold, or in a hot tub, or a bath, with no time limit.

If you're new to this blog, especially if you've never been married, you might be asking "Why would you need to get away from your wife? Don't you want to have sex on your vacation?"

HA!!! Oh, that's hilarious. Sex? Probably wouldn't happen. No, if she's around I'll have chores and errands, even if we are somewhere else. My wife doesn't crave vacation sex. She avoided it for an entire long weekend for our anniversary when I'd made arrangements for us to get away. That wasn't an anomaly: sex isn't a priority for her. That's how it is for, probably, most wives who have all the children they wanted and have reached the point in a marriage in which the husband would have to pay lifetime alimony if he left.

I want to be clear I wouldn't be fooling around with anyone on this vacation. No, that's one of the ways I'm very loyal. I'm a married man. My wife wouldn't approve of any involvement with another woman. So, it's her or nothing, which, except for a few restricted minutes every month or so, means it is nothing.

You guys who live alone: Enjoy it! Enjoy your peace and quiet. Enjoy being able to nap, or sit down, or sleep in without someone needing something from you. Enjoy being able to watch a movie or show you want to watch on a big screen, without being interrupted or disapproval or complaints.

Could I schedule a vacation for myself? Not without causing a lot trouble. And I'd probably have a stream of texts and calls I'd have to deal with at the very least.

Valentine's Day Aftermath

Are you an unmarried guy who just spent a lot of money and effort on Valentine's Day, only to get what you used to get all of the time? Or did you get less than that?

Did you even propose marriage and give her a ring?

If you're not married, and you just made a big deal about Valentine's Day, and especially if you proposed marriage, you need to step back and think about what you've done and you are doing. Are you regretful? Are you doubting? Are you asking yourself "Why did I do that?" If not, you probably should be.

Most men shouldn't be in exclusive relationships, and certainly not marriage!

Most unmarried men, if they play their cards right, can get everything they want without spending a lot of money and energy on Valentine's Day, birthdays, holidays, or anniversaries.

If there is a woman who is planning to marry you this June, or any other time this year, you probably need to put the brakes on the relationship, especially if there are any red flags. If you're shacking up and/or if she has kids, plan your escape!

You don't need to be married. And there's a good chance that, deep down, you don't really want to be.

So, get out. And learn to be scarce so that you won't get trapped into wasting money, effort, and time on things like Valentine's Day or meeting a woman's family or friends for holidays.

If you're scheduled to get married in June or anytime soon, here's how to cancel the wedding.

If you're engaged, here's how to get out of that.

If you're in a supposedly exclusive relationship, here's how to break up.

Be a Free Man.

Unmarried Men, You Need to Get or Stay Scarce Until at Least February 15

Unmarried men, if you've been staying scarce for the last month or two when it comes to any woman who was thinking of you as husband material, keep up the good work!

For those of you who spent December and the holidays with such woman, you really need to get with the program NOW!!!

You DO NOT want a woman trying to make you her husband, and so you need to get or stay scarce. Be busy. Be "sick."

There are ads on television, radio, and websites/apps right now trying to get men to plan romantic evenings and buy expensive items because February 14 exists. NO NO NO!!!

Don't be so ignorant, delusional, or masochistic that you're thinking you want to be exclusive to a woman.

Annual Marriage Sellers Propaganda Week

February 7-14 is the week that marriage sellers have picked to be their annual publicizing of more propaganda than usual.

DO NOT FALL FOR IT GUYS! Certainly, DO NOT PROPOSE OR MARRY on Valentine's Day!

If you're not currently married, DO NOT let these people fool you.

There is no benefit to you to get legally married (or married again) that you can't get for less cost without legally marrying.

Marriage is a terrible state contract for most men.

Most marriages fail.

You can have an honorable, happy, fulfilled, full, productive, good life without ever legally marrying.

Something you're likely to see:

"Married people are happier."

For the purposes of this blog, I'm more concerned about men. Not "people." Our marriage laws and culture are gynocentric. Women get materially rewarded for marrying. Of course marriage can make women happy. (Don't be fooled, though. Women might like getting married, but many despise and resent their husbands, and don't really want to be wives.)

Briefly, because I've detailed this elsewhere, here's why you shouldn't infer what they are outright saying or trying to imply; getting married will make you happy.

1. Married men aren't always being honest or reality-based when reporting that they are happy. If they aren't assured their answers are anonymous and that their wife won't see their answer, if they don't want to admit "failure," if they think saying they are anything less than thrilled with their marriage would be a sin or a negative confession, they're not going to be honest. Most people in my life, including my wife, think I'm happily married. I'm not. But I don't let on (weekly therapy helps me keep the ruse going) because it would make my life worse if I did. I was VERY happy before I married. Unfortunately, I was ignorant and delusional enough to think I should marry.

2. Many of these husbands have no idea how much happier they'd be if unmarried.

3. Men told by their family, their religion, culture, etc. that they're losers if they're not married, and they've bought into it, are going to be happy that they got married.

4. Happier people are more likely to attract and keep a spouse. It isn't that marriage made them happy. They were already happy. If unhappy, they are more likely to get divorced and thus be counted as "unmarried."

5. Studies about this never separate out intentionally unmarried men. Rather, all unmarried men (divorced, widowed, shacking up, hoping to get married, unable to attract a wife, etc.) are lumped together. Men who have decided to be Free Men or have otherwise joined the marriage strike can be much happier than the average husband.

The other "benefits of marriage" can be debunked in the same or a similar way. Alleged correlations might sound great, but don't withstand close scrutiny. Again, these claims that marriage is of benefit to men never separate out men who are able to attract women, but have intentionally avoided marrying,

Feel free to link to, copy and paste, or steal shamelessly from this blog to counter the narratives you'll be seeing this week.

Here are just a few other posts on this blog that might help:

My Core Advice to Men

Why You Don't Want to Do That

Reasons For Men to Stay Unmarried

How to Just Say No to Giving Up Your Freedom

How to Keep Your Friends Free

You Don't Need a Wife

Being His Lover - Part 2: He Wants To Satisfy You

In Part 1 of this series, I explained that, if most relationships with a man, being a good lover is important and it can be easy.

But it's not all about him.

Unless you chose poorly, your man wants you to be sexually satisfied. He wants to rock your world.

But men are not mind readers, so you have to clearly tell us or, even better, show us what you want, what gets your toes curling, what makes you feel loved. (If you don't already know, you'll need to think about it and also probably get to "know" yourself much better.)

We will do it!

Constructive encouragement and clever redirection will help. Criticism or complaining will destroy. Penises don't take criticism well, and men generally have fragile egos when it comes to sex.

Is he doing something you don't like? Is there something you'd rather he be doing at that moment? "Beg" for him to do X, which gets him to stop doing Y without you saying "Don't do Y!" Or tell him, "What will really drive me wild right now is if you..."

"Yesss!" is great. Examples:
"Yes, just like that."
"Yes, don't stop!"
"Yes, a little higher."
"Yes, a little lower."
"Yes, a little to the side."
"Yes, a little faster."
"Yes, a litter slower."
"Yes, a little softer."
"Yes, a little harder."

After everything is over, like the next day or something, reinforce for him what you liked. "Thank you so much. It was especially great when you..." You might also say, "I'm a little curious. Maybe one of these days we could try..."

We also don't want to be selfish, so if it is one of those occasions you're unprepared or unwilling to let him "get you there" but you still see the benefit of "taking care" of him, tell him that in a way that doesn't make it sound like sex is a burden or you're not interested or he's unattractive to you. That can be something like saying in a sultry voice, "Ooh, I want to do this so bad. Just let me do this, this time while you just relax and enjoy." If he thinks you enjoy doing something sexual to him for the sheer sake of him enjoying it, that's a turn-on and a great feeling to a man.

Rejection hurts. It can ruin your relationship. If he's feeling horny but you are not in the mood and he's not going to be able to get you into the mood, instead of "Ugh, not again!" it would be much better to say and do something like "Hey, stud, how about you relax and let me..." You can fill in the blank. Of course there will be times in which any form of sex is not going to work for you at all, and if you married a good man, he will accept that. It is best if you reassure him you love him and love what you do together even as you "postpone" a session.

If he can't tell if you still need to orgasm, you want (another) one, he's probably done, and he doesn't have the presence of mind to ask if there is anything else he can do for you, you can try "I'm enjoying this so much, let's keep going." Show him/tell him what to do. "I need your talented tongue..." or "I need your fantastic fingers..."

I come (no pun intended) from the school of "she comes first." Hopefully, you can get him to adopt that if he hasn't already. The only drawback to that is that if it is one of those times you don't want to try or you know it's not going to happen, he has to switch to accepting that he gets it without you getting it. The problem with male physiology is that unless we're in an extremely, extraordinarily arousing situation, we lose our erection after orgasm and lose our interest for a bit, almost like some women apparently feel for the rest of their live after they eat their wedding cake (or, after they're done having kids, or have hit menopause). But we can be back to being erect and eager in a short amount of time, especially under the right circumstances.

Positive reinforcement and playful redirection are your friends. He's not a mind reader. He wants to please you. But you have to let him, and you have to show him how.

Being His Lover - Part 1: It Is Important and It Can Be Easy

This is going to talk bluntly about sex, and is intended to help women.

Assuming you married, or will marry or partner up with, a "typical" good man and not some sort of very odd guy or a bad man, it will help your relationship and benefit you much to be a great lover.

Sex is extremely important to most men. That's just the way God or nature made us. If you think it's just a matter of how we've been socialized, consider gay male subcultures and history. Even though our culture hasn't traditionally socialized men/boys to be gay, gay men demonstrate almost all of the same sexual nature found in heterosexual men as far as how important sex is, being visually stimulated and wanting to see skin, the desire for variety, enjoying the sight of others but still being happy and attracted to their lover, and more. And yeah, there are some women who feel a need for a lot of sex, women appreciate a good hardbody on a man, some women want sexual variety, but for most women, it's just not the same. Comparing men as a group and women as a group, and the "average" man and "average" woman, the male sex drive is far stronger, desire for diversity much more persistent, and the spectrum of attraction enormously wider.

The good news for women is that being a great lover is entirely within your power. You don't have to look like a swimsuit model. Also, if you are a great lover, most other things don't even matter, or matter much less. If you dented the car or he had a bad day at work, a good lovemaking session is likely to put him in a much better mood.

You don't have to talk with him for a long time, take him to dinner and a movie, bring him flowers or gifts, light candles, etc. All you have to do is please his peter, which you can do with your hands, mouth, breasts, and/or your "other cheeks" with or without showing any other skin. Or, if he's like me, getting his face between your thighs also works. Boom. He's having a better day. He could be watching sports, or doing any number of things that aren't sexy or romantic, and you can still get him aroused and to orgasm with no other preparation except maybe lubricant. (But if he's watching his favorite team, it's best to wait until it's over or until the halftime break, if there is one, unless what you're doing doesn't obstruct his view.)

There's a lot more to say, so I've decided to break this up into a series.

Part 2: He Wants to Satisfy You

Some Things to Remember

Whether you're a regular reader or you just happened to find this blog today, I wanted to leave this message to last through the holidays, until I'm updating this blog regularly again.

Men matter.

If you're a man, you matter.

Your needs matter.

What you want matters.

If you're a father of a minor child, what your child needs should take more priority than what you want.

If you don't have minor children but are married, it is OK to leave a bad state contract you signed when you were delusional or ignorant. If it is early on in the marriage, staying longer can make things worse for you at an increasing rate.

If you're engaged, you're probably better off breaking the engagement (or, delaying a wedding date until she gets fed up and leaves).

If you are thinking of proposing, you probably shouldn't.  You don't need a wife.

Shacking up is generally a terrible idea. Don't move in with a woman, and don't let her move in with you.

Get a vasectomy.

Especially if you haven't gotten a vasectomy, don't date mothers of minor children. And if you have minor children, they shouldn't be meeting any new lover of yours until later.

Stay free.

If you want to date, you can run game. DO NOT even flirt with anyone from work.

Build up an emergency fund if you don't have one.

You have something to contribute to the world. The better off you are, the more you are able to contribute.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year

With the holidays here, I might not be posting much. We'll see. I plan to resume my recent pace of posting new entries and bumping up relevant past ones after the holidays are behind us. Every week, I like to have at least a couple of new entries and bump up a few classic entries, but I might not have time to resume that pace until the 3rd or 4th of the New Year.

I do plan to keep active on Twitter through the holidays. Follow me there, if you don't already. Send me Direct Messages there, if you'd like.

I hope the holidays are going well for you, and that you have a blessed New Year.

Why Do You Read This Blog?

I'd  like to "hear" from you, especially if you're a returning reader. Leave a comment below. You can post anonymously. If you don't want your comment published, say so in the comment and I will delete it after reading it. Comments have to be approved before they can be published.

You don't have to be supportive. Maybe you come here because you hate what I write. Maybe you like it when I write about being miserable (when I do). That's fine, too. Just let me know why you read this blog. If you want more of something or less or something, say so. I might not adjust in a way you like, but maybe I will.

So... tell me. 

Thanks.

(I've asked this question before.)

Does Dr. Laura Need a Change?

Dr. Laura Schlessinger has had an amazing and unequaled career in media. Her long-running terrestrial radio program was nationally syndicated and was a top three program. She quit terrestrial radio and set up on satellite radio at SiriusXM. She has been there for many years now. She has many bestselling books, had a magazine, has done one-woman shows, a written column, and has popular videos, podcasts (excerpts from her program), and posts on social media.

She could retire today with her head held high. There will likely never be another woman in terrestrial radio as successful as she was.

However, she has repeatedly said on her program she doesn't want to retire. It isn't hard to see why. She works from home on a Monday-Friday three hour, mid-day program. She doesn't have to deal with multiple program directors across the country. She doesn't have to make appearances or do interviews. She has complete control over her program. It's entirely audio, so she doesn't have to dress any specific way or get made up, or worry about her appearance or what she's silently doing.

Yet there are four things that indicate to me that if she's not going to retire, she needs a change.

1. She is into her mid-70s

2. Crosstalk severely frustrates her.

3. Society has changed.

4. Talk programs specifically are changing.

This is going to be a long post. I didn't want to divide it into a series.

Jumping to Conclusions

Man kills self, woman most affected. (Consider that a trigger warning.)

I posted about this on Twitter but I wanted to write more about it here.

More Relationship Joy From Dear Abby Column

Both letters in a recent Dear Abby column caught my eye.

BEWILDERED IN CANADA wrote:

I married for the second time two years ago to a younger woman.

BIG MISTAKE. Canada is NOT a place a man should want to get legally married, let alone for a second time.

Seven months after our wedding, she announced she didn't like my dominating personality, which is why she was stepping out of the marriage. She then went back to her deadbeat ex-boyfriend for six months.

That should have been the end of it.

Dear Abby Letter Writer Better Off as a Free Man

Men are told to communicate what they want, but when they do, they're ridiculed as controlling, arrogant, shallow, perverted, callous, and inflexible. [This was originally posted in January 2019 and still holds up.]

Check out this recent letter to Dear Abby from DATING IN 2019 and click through to read the comments:

Lately I have become perplexed at the vanity and immoral behavior now associated with the task of dating.

I wish the printed letter would have explained what he meant by those terms.

I'm a single man living by myself with no responsibilities but my own.

What a great life! Why screw that up with a woman? Anyway, if he's also gainfully employed, not in debt, and not short or hideous, then he should have his pick of women. The thing is, he's picky.

I am looking for someone who will fit into my lifestyle.

Well, pal, very few, if any, women will be like that, although some might pretend to be until they get the keys to your place, or your signature on the dotted line, or your child. They're going to want to change things about your life. And even if they don't want to, there are things about just about any woman that would disrupt your lifestyle. Critical information is left out: his age.

It's Not Too Early to Form Your Holiday Game Plan

Free Men, and men who want to be, it's NOT to early to think about the holidays, and by that, I mean Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukah, Christmas, New Years, and Valentine's Day. 

There are two main considerations for you:

1) Dealing with family and "friends" who will be asking you (or pestering you) about your status as a free man. You now how it goes. "When are you going to get married?" Questions like that.

2) Avoiding spending those special days with a woman who wants to take away your status as Free Man, or will be expecting you to spend a lot of time, money, and effort on her.

Don't do something something foolish and start thinking there is "the one" to whom you should hand over your freedom. Don't be so ignorant, delusional, or masochistic that you're thinking you want to be exclusive with a woman.

Do I Have A Moral Obligation To Warn My Wife About Divorce?

Let's assume that I decide that, once our youngest child is 18, which should be after they are done with high school, I'm going to file for divorce.

That's still years away.

In general, do husbands have a moral obligation to give advanced notice? How much in advance?

Do I have a moral obligation in particular?

Please note that I'm not talking about financial or legal strategy. I would talk to an accountant and an attorney about those things.

I'm talking about morality. Would I be morally obligated to tell her I'm going to file for divorce, and how far in advance would that obligation exist?

Keep in mind:

Mark of the Day

Here's the fool, sucker, or mark of the day. In the September 22, 2022 Dear Abby column, RANKING LOW IN NORTH CAROLINA wrote:

My wife died two years ago. I met a woman shortly afterward.

Guys married for a long time who are widowed often make the mistake of quickly jumping into another marriage, not realizing that it is possible to thrive while free and if they had a good wife in their prior marriage, that's a rare thing.

We dated for a year, shared the same hobbies and were very intimate. We were inseparable.

Ah yes, that's what she wanted you to think.

Now, after a year of marriage, we don't do anything together, and she has put on 30 pounds.

That's bad enough, but it gets worse. So much worse.

Her three girls, who I was led to believe were independent at ages 20, 22 and 24, are actually supported in part by her.

NOPE NOPE NOPE! This is why FULL disclosure and customized prenups are  MUST if you're going to be foolish enough to legally marry.

Her 15-year-old son lives with us and just stays in his room playing on his computer. He gets food delivered and does no chores.

NEVER be with a woman who has minor children!!!

I make $250k a year. She works and earns about $50k, and I give her an allowance to help pay for her son's private school and whatever else she wants.

SUCKER!!! With that salary, he could have attracted childfree, younger, hotter women!

It's obvious that I'm not No. 1 in her life.

You won't be number one with any mother.

Since she just returned from a girls weekend (that I funded), I may not even be No. 2.

You're the walking ATM. She probably doesn't even like you.

My friends say I should run, that she's a gold digger who took advantage of me.

Your friends are right. Life doesn't have to be this way.

Dear Abby's answer included:

If you have any desire to save this marriage, tell your wife you are unhappy and offer her the option of counseling.

WRONG! There's no point to counseling. Consult an attorney NOW. If the place is your place, you're at risk of losing it. A good family law attorney can help you get out of this marriage with as little damage as possible. The laws are set up to SCREW YOU OVER. Every day that goes by without a separation or a divorce filed puts you further down a hole. What we have here is another woman who pretended as long as it took to get a sucker to sign on the dotted line (which wasn't long) and then she figured she had his balls and would live off of him, ignoring his needs. So there's no point to trying to make it work. We know what kind of woman she is.

Get free and STAY FREE. If you need female companionship, run game. Or, at least refuse to pay their way through life, and never let them move in with you.