The Modern Workplace and How It Relates to Marriage

Men are expected to "provide". It isn't just traditionalists like Dr. Laura who say this. Most women seek out and marry men they think do, or will, earn more than they do, even if they claim to be liberated, feminist, independent. Notice Oprah's lack of legal marriage. It would be difficult for her to attract a man who earns more than her.

In order to pay for a family, men generally need stable, well-paying jobs that provide a reasonable level of security. However, our economy has changed.

Budgeting Can Save Your Kids

When my wife and I were dating before engagement, one of the issues we discussed (and one of the issues every person dating for marriage should discuss) was who would be earning the income and how. I was open to discussing any arrangement that would not have my kids raised by strangers. My wife strongly desired to "stay home" with our kids once we had them, and I would be the one who was busy earning the income. That was fine by me.

I dare say that most married couples who stick their kids in day orphanages (daycare) don't have to. There are those who want to (including some where one of the spouses does not work outside the home), but many more who say they don't have a choice. They do have a choice - almost all of them. It just requires them to do things differently, and they don't want to make those changes or don't have the imagination to see the possibilities. There's working different shifts, working at home, and there's having one spouse be the sole income earner.

Is it harder for one person to support the family than it used to be? Probably. Ironically, more women being in the workforce means more labor supply; more people are competing for jobs. This allows employers to offer lower pay.

It is possible, though, especially when one considers the ways to cut back on expenses, from frivolous things or extravagances to finding bargains. How much income is being netted by that second earner once the costs of taxes, commuting, wardrobe, daycare, etc. are removed?

In a recent blog entry, Dr. Laura writes about some of the problems associated with having both spouses work outside the home. Then she goes on to give some tips for stretching and income.

1.Ride a bicycle to most places close to home. That gives you needed exercise that two jobs doesn't permit and it saves money on gas.

Walking can be good, too. The cost of driving also includes maintenance and other costs. This is yet another reason to live in a neighborhood where people aren't routinely robbed or assaulted walking down the sidewalk.

2.Rent from Netflix instead of spending ridiculous amounts going to local movie theaters and wasting money on sodas and popcorn.

There have never been more options for low or no-cost entertainment. I'm pretty sure I, and most husbands, would be plenty entertained if all we did with our free time was play with the wife.

3.Shop discount stores for clothes, and don't buy new wardrobes each season.

Paying a lot of money for clothes can massage the ego, but how often does the most expensive clothing make enough of a real difference? I also recommend getting certain kinds of furniture from a Salvation Army store and yard sales. I can understand not wanting someone's used furniture that is covered in cloth, but other than that, it is good.

4.Take vacations close to home that are filled with togetherness rather than filled with expenses.

Again, there have never been more options.

5.Plan meals and plan your grocery shopping so you aren't paying extra for last-minute purchases.

My wife does this, and clips coupons, and does everything else she can to bring down our grocery bill. It's like game to her, and she's very good at it.

6.Don't buy sugary, fatty, unhealthy foods. That saves a LOT of money!

Some are cheap, though. Yes, it can be less expensive to buy whole fruits and vegetables and to buy staples rather than buying junk food and fast food, and it is better for you. But you have to actually eat the food, not let it rot. Surely you can find enough of such foods that you like.

7.Sit down with your checkbook for a month and see where the money is going.

Yes. Your checkbook and your credit cards.

I'll add a few:

Pay your bills on time. Who needs late and interest charges?

Are you paying for Internet, phone, and TV? Have you called up your providers and asked for a deal in exchange for signing up for a certain length of time? Or how about telling them you are thinking about going to a competitor or discontinuing the service? They usually offer deals.

Are you paying for magazines or memberships that you don't regularly read/use? Let it lapse.

Are there any you want to add?

Kids grow up fast. You don't want to miss it. Kids need parental guidance and bonding, too. It is possible to make it work.

And for those of you who are marriage-minded but not yet married or parenting, think about these things. Save up and choose your spouse and where you'll be living wisely so that your kids will not be raised by strangers.

Women Need to Save More (So Do Men)

Big news, brought to us by Associated Press writer Candice Choi. Women, who live longer than men (where is the outcry of sexism?), aren’t saving up enough for those golden years.

They invest more conservatively, start saving later and are more likely to be in and out of the work force, according to a study released Wednesday by Hewitt Associates, a human resources consulting firm.

The first two factors are behavioral choices made by women exercising their freedoms, and women should voluntarily address those. As for the third factor - the only reason women, in general, should be “in and out of the work force” should be for childrearing. And the only way they should be raising children is within a marriage. “Yes, but husbands leave or die,” say the women who advocate letting other people “raise” your child. That’s why women should insist in pre-nups, saving and insurance, and assist their man in staying healthy. See how conservative values work together? Choosing your husband wisely and treating him well will almost elminate the possibililty of him dumping you.

At any rate, someone will propose a government program to correct this “inequality”, I’m sure, when no government program is necessary. Or someone will bring out the tired line the women earn less than men, which isn’t true when you compare men and women doing the same kind, level, quality, and quantity of work.

The importance of saving didn't dawn on Jerre Laughlin until she was in her 40s and started working in human resources.

What was she doing until then? Spending money on shoes, purses, and trips to Cancun, figuring a fiscally responsible man would swoop in and marry her? Or counting on Big Brother?

"Women tend to be a little more risk averse, more fearful of losing money," said Alison Borland, an author of the study.

Heck, even if they saved regularly to a basic interest-bearing bank account or even stuffed money regularly into their mattress, they’d be better off than spending the money on beverages and jewelry.

Not surprisingly, the study states 90 percent of women were unsure about managing their finances.

There are, after all, no classes in offered, no cable networks, books, magazines, or newspapers that address personal finances, saving, and investing available to women, right?

Of course, many guys these days aren’t being smart about finances, either, including spending too much money on dates who earn their own money.

Overall, four out of five men and women aren't saving enough to keep up the same lifestyle after they stop working.

This is no surprise. People frequently spend more money than they need to.

Spend less money than you earn.

"Pay" yourself at least ten percent by diverting that portion of your income into savings and investments – IRAs, 401(k)s, etc., maxing out your employer’s match.

Save up for big purchases instead of financing (with the exception of a home) - do not buy anything with a credit card that you will not pay for before interest starts accruing.

Never use a "payday loan" unless your only alternative is borrowing from the mob.

Husbands: Discuss the finances and sound financial practices with your wife, who will likely outlive you. Fathers: Teach your daughter about money so she can be self-sufficient and choose to marry if the finds Mr. Right and won't feel compelled to marry or marry Mr. Wrong for the sake of his income. That will also make her less likely to vote socialist in hopes that Big Brother will take care of her.