As I frequently say, I'm a huge fan of Dr. Laura. I agree with her almost all of the time and I think she does a lot of good. She had to deal with cancer not that long ago and I hope/pray (despite what she might say about hoping and praying) she never has to deal with cancer again.
It is nearly impossible for cancer not to change someone, and I think breast cancer changed her. As she said on the air, she had breast cancer and had a single mastectomy and, thus far, opted not to have reconstructive surgery.
In the past, when women called to get her advice on plastic surgery, including breast surgery, she used to be very supportive of "restorative" surgery, to counter what disease, surgery, aging, or breastfeeding had done. We're talking women trying to get back to the way they used to be, not women who used to be B-cups going for DDs.
Lately, though, she has discouraged women from even trying to get back to the way they used to look through surgery.
Showing posts with label boobs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label boobs. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
Deflation and Sagging
This is one of those brutally honest posts that necessitates my anonymity, to protect the innocent (not me… my wife). It is about body parts, not the economy. You are warned.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Some Things Are Better Not Said
I'm glad I subscribed to the paid side of Dr. Laura's website. I did so right before she announced she was going to leave terrestrial radio. Thankfully, this subscription has allowed me to hear every hour of her show by downloading the podcasts, which is especially helpful since I don't have satellite radio.
The show has changed a bit since debuting as satellite-based on January 3. I like the new, less restrained tone even more and there's more content – something like 12 more minutes per hour. The format is a little more wide, as in addition to people calling with their moral dilemmas, Dr. Laura will raise a topic on the broadcast or earlier via Facebook or e-mail, and take calls on that topic as well.
As usual, I agree with her on most things, and just about anything that's really important. But again, I'm going to talk about something on which we might have some level of disagreement.
Dr. Laura has repeatedly supported women who have called in who have wanted to have breast augmentation/enhancement surgery after they've had an accident, disease, or season of breastfeeding that has impacted their breasts to the point that... the woman wants a surgical enhacement. The key thing here is that the woman has wanted it.
Contrast that with a call from the first hour this past Friday, the first call of the day. A woman's breasts were signficantly changed through breastfeeding and the change has been a turn-off for her husband. Dr. Laura ripped into the husband (who wasn't on the phone as the wife made the call), and a lot of people might agree. Isn't it terrible that he's turned off by something that resulted from the nourishment of his children and bonding his children to their mother?
Well... it is terrible that he told his wife that he was turned off because of this. That was stupid on his part.
Yeah, in a perfect world, he would not be turned off. But aside from some sort of therapy or ongoing conditioning, men generally can't control what turns them on and turns them off. Perhaps what the husband should have done is kept his mouth shut, made excuses for any dysfunction she noticed, and sought a therapist who could help him. Maybe she'd be upset by a sense that he was not being open and honest with her, but it is better than telling her he's turned off by something about her that she can't change without surgery.
Let's be precise about what we're talking about. He didn't say he didn't want to be with her, or that he no longer loved her, or anything like that. He was foolishly forthcoming about something that changed.
Of course I was attracted to my wife, in part, because of her physical beauty, including her body, including her breasts. I would not have married her without being physically attracted to her. But I did not marry her on that basis alone. I married her knowing that I could and would still love her even if, God forbid, something happened that disfigured her. Breastfeeding changed and reduced her breasts, to be sure. I wish it wasn't so. And while I recognize that breastfeeding was a great thing, that thought does not sexually arouse me. Thankfully, I am not turned off, either, by the change.
Some men report being turned off, or fear they will be turned off, by pregnancy or by watching their child emerge from their wife's vagina. I did not find either a turn off. I thought pregnancy made my wife even more beautiful (and her breasts even better, too). Watching my children emerge from her vagina, I was in awe, and felt this intense bonding to my wife. But that's me. It may be something some men don't want to see. And my wife didn't get fat when pregnant. She got... pregnant.
Husbands and wives, over the course of a decades-long marriage, are likely going to be turned off by certain things that happen to their spouses that the spouse may not be able to do anything about, at least without taking extraordinary measures. The important thing is working through that and being there, in every right way, for each other. (Sometimes, that involves not saying something.) The only way to avoid getting older is to die. I;d rather have my wife with me. I'd rather have my kids than to have my wife's body the way it was before carrying, birthing, and feeding them. I'd rather have money for other purposes than spending it on breast surgery. And I'd rather encourage her to give me access to her breasts than say anything that would make her less likely to do so!
Ladies, gentlemen.... your experiences and thoughts?
The show has changed a bit since debuting as satellite-based on January 3. I like the new, less restrained tone even more and there's more content – something like 12 more minutes per hour. The format is a little more wide, as in addition to people calling with their moral dilemmas, Dr. Laura will raise a topic on the broadcast or earlier via Facebook or e-mail, and take calls on that topic as well.
As usual, I agree with her on most things, and just about anything that's really important. But again, I'm going to talk about something on which we might have some level of disagreement.
Dr. Laura has repeatedly supported women who have called in who have wanted to have breast augmentation/enhancement surgery after they've had an accident, disease, or season of breastfeeding that has impacted their breasts to the point that... the woman wants a surgical enhacement. The key thing here is that the woman has wanted it.
Contrast that with a call from the first hour this past Friday, the first call of the day. A woman's breasts were signficantly changed through breastfeeding and the change has been a turn-off for her husband. Dr. Laura ripped into the husband (who wasn't on the phone as the wife made the call), and a lot of people might agree. Isn't it terrible that he's turned off by something that resulted from the nourishment of his children and bonding his children to their mother?
Well... it is terrible that he told his wife that he was turned off because of this. That was stupid on his part.
Yeah, in a perfect world, he would not be turned off. But aside from some sort of therapy or ongoing conditioning, men generally can't control what turns them on and turns them off. Perhaps what the husband should have done is kept his mouth shut, made excuses for any dysfunction she noticed, and sought a therapist who could help him. Maybe she'd be upset by a sense that he was not being open and honest with her, but it is better than telling her he's turned off by something about her that she can't change without surgery.
Let's be precise about what we're talking about. He didn't say he didn't want to be with her, or that he no longer loved her, or anything like that. He was foolishly forthcoming about something that changed.
Of course I was attracted to my wife, in part, because of her physical beauty, including her body, including her breasts. I would not have married her without being physically attracted to her. But I did not marry her on that basis alone. I married her knowing that I could and would still love her even if, God forbid, something happened that disfigured her. Breastfeeding changed and reduced her breasts, to be sure. I wish it wasn't so. And while I recognize that breastfeeding was a great thing, that thought does not sexually arouse me. Thankfully, I am not turned off, either, by the change.
Some men report being turned off, or fear they will be turned off, by pregnancy or by watching their child emerge from their wife's vagina. I did not find either a turn off. I thought pregnancy made my wife even more beautiful (and her breasts even better, too). Watching my children emerge from her vagina, I was in awe, and felt this intense bonding to my wife. But that's me. It may be something some men don't want to see. And my wife didn't get fat when pregnant. She got... pregnant.
Husbands and wives, over the course of a decades-long marriage, are likely going to be turned off by certain things that happen to their spouses that the spouse may not be able to do anything about, at least without taking extraordinary measures. The important thing is working through that and being there, in every right way, for each other. (Sometimes, that involves not saying something.) The only way to avoid getting older is to die. I;d rather have my wife with me. I'd rather have my kids than to have my wife's body the way it was before carrying, birthing, and feeding them. I'd rather have money for other purposes than spending it on breast surgery. And I'd rather encourage her to give me access to her breasts than say anything that would make her less likely to do so!
Ladies, gentlemen.... your experiences and thoughts?
Sunday, January 02, 2011
Dear Abby Defends Attention Whores
DOIN' WHAT COMES NATURALLY wrote in to Dear Abby:
It isn't rude to her. That is exactly why she wore it - to get attention. Now, there may have been one or two people in particular whose attention she was trying to get, and as such, she may be uncomfortable with you taking a look. But tough toenails for her. She doesn't get to pick and choose if she goes out in public like that.
It may be rude to your wife, depending on how obvious you are about it.
True. This is the way our biology is wired.
Dear Abby gets gender partisan:
And ladies know exactly how they are dressing.
I would suggest completely ignoring any woman who behaves this way. She is an attention whore, and wants attention so that she can then insult or hurt others. Ignoring women like this drives them even crazier than they already are, but you should do it for your own protection.
What other possible reason, other than to draw attention to her breasts, would a woman display her cleavage to strangers in public? Women, if you're going to dress this way, the appropriate response when you notice a man noticing that you've dressed this way is to smile.
I had a girlfriend who was sporting DDs (beautiful... just glorious marvels of nature), and she wasn't overweight in the slightest... she had the perfect body as far as I was concerned, but like most very attractive women, she didn't see herself that way. She was a teacher, teaching middle schoolers at first. She dressed very conservatively, and yet heard from some of the girls that they thought she was purposely showing off. Nothing could have been further from the truth. That is not what is going on this letter to Dear Abby. Anyway, my girlfriend asked me about calling up boys to the front of the room to do work on the board, and it there was a problem with that. I told her at that age, boys are "at full attention" quite often, even if there is no present visual stimulation. But with her there, it must have been going on constantly. She took my advice... best not to have the students get out of their seats.
When a man meets a woman wearing a low-cut dress or blouse, is it rude to momentarily glance down (not stare) at her cleavage?
It isn't rude to her. That is exactly why she wore it - to get attention. Now, there may have been one or two people in particular whose attention she was trying to get, and as such, she may be uncomfortable with you taking a look. But tough toenails for her. She doesn't get to pick and choose if she goes out in public like that.
It may be rude to your wife, depending on how obvious you are about it.
Most men find this a natural, unavoidable impulse.
True. This is the way our biology is wired.
Dear Abby gets gender partisan:
It may be a "natural, unavoidable impulse," but gentlemen have learned to control their impulses.
And ladies know exactly how they are dressing.
I'm surprised you haven't heard the phrase, "My eyes are up here."
I would suggest completely ignoring any woman who behaves this way. She is an attention whore, and wants attention so that she can then insult or hurt others. Ignoring women like this drives them even crazier than they already are, but you should do it for your own protection.
What other possible reason, other than to draw attention to her breasts, would a woman display her cleavage to strangers in public? Women, if you're going to dress this way, the appropriate response when you notice a man noticing that you've dressed this way is to smile.
I had a girlfriend who was sporting DDs (beautiful... just glorious marvels of nature), and she wasn't overweight in the slightest... she had the perfect body as far as I was concerned, but like most very attractive women, she didn't see herself that way. She was a teacher, teaching middle schoolers at first. She dressed very conservatively, and yet heard from some of the girls that they thought she was purposely showing off. Nothing could have been further from the truth. That is not what is going on this letter to Dear Abby. Anyway, my girlfriend asked me about calling up boys to the front of the room to do work on the board, and it there was a problem with that. I told her at that age, boys are "at full attention" quite often, even if there is no present visual stimulation. But with her there, it must have been going on constantly. She took my advice... best not to have the students get out of their seats.
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Ripe Melons
Inspired by my own comments in an earlier post, and comments written by someone else on this other blog I regularly read, I'm taking this moment to write about something that makes me happy... something I like... something I enjoy...
BOOBS!
I've offered this disclaimer before and I'm offering it again: I'm talking about sex, what I find to be sexy, turn-ons, etc. If this is a problem for you, skip this entry. I'm a happily married man, so if I get all hot and bothered, I can find a satisfying resolution without engaging in sin. I know not everyone is in the same situation.
On with the show.
Ladies, treating you in a way that makes you feel special often involves a lot of planning, shopping, spending, and talking on the part of your man. Gifts, flowers, cards, sweets, jewelry, spa treatments, dinner at a table service fine dining establishment... stuff like that.
Conversely, you can make your man feel special by simply thrusting your naked breasts into his face.
Am I a boob man? I wouldn't say that. I love every bit of a woman's body – particularly my wife's. But I would be lying if I denied that my wife's ample boobs, hidden as they were in a bra and top, didn't help attract me to her. I also noticed her small waist and bare midriff, her beautiful smile, long hair, etc.
My wife does have breasts on the larger side of the scale.
But women with small breasts can be extremely attractive, too. Men have varying tastes. Yeah, bigger breasts get more attention because... well, something that is there gets more attention than something that isn't.
Some men prefer smaller natural breasts over larger breasts with implants in them. Yet almost all of these men will still like their wife's breasts if they do have implants because they were reconstructed after a cancer battle or some accident – because for husbands, it is more about the woman sporting the breasts, not the flesh itself.
Ladies - if you are a wife, do not hide those beautiful marvels of nature (or, modern medicine) from your hubby. You may not consider them anything special, but he likely does. So what if they don't look like those of an enhanced 19-year-old bikini model, who has never breast fed, in a retouched photo with professional lighting and makeup? Thrust them out proudly – with confidence and playfulness. Cup them. Run your hands over them. Place his hands on them and move his hands over them. Stick a nipple in his mouth.
Let him revel in your splendor.
If you get pleasant physical sensations from any of this (women apparently have different levels of sensitivity in their breasts), let him know how good it feels. If it is just like touching any other part of your body... well, know that he likes it even it you'd feel the same if he was kissing your forearm.
If they have any size to them, they can also be used to stimulate his penis, including to the point of orgasm. The easiest way is pushing them together around his lubricated organ and going from there - varying from you being the passive person or the active mover. Extra points if you can manage to involve your mouth into this maneuver.
I've long appreciated and admired breasts. It probably started when I was breastfed as an infant. I have a vague memory of being breastfed as one of my earliest memories. I will forever be notorious in my family for an incident recorded on audio tape of me describing a drawing I had made of my mother earlier that day in pre-school. "These are her eyes, this is her mouth, these are her boobies..."
"Very observant little boy," my father can be heard noting.
Yes, males of all ages stare at boobs. A lot of us haven't developed the skill of averting our gaze for politeness, purity, or any other good reason, such as avoiding walking into a wall. Of course I notice if a woman has a nice set, but I try to focus on my wife, and her nice set even if she isn't with me at the moment. Heck, I've always been a little shy anyway, so I've never been the type to gawk or leer at another live person (that is, unless we're talking about my wife, or one of the women with whom I was fornicating in my rebellious bachelor years), and I've never seen a stripper or topless dancer perform in person, even rejecting attempts to take me to a "club" on the night of my bachelor party.
I do like the sight of breasts, though.
Boys, like men, are visual creatures. From what I can tell, my pre-pubescent and pubescent quest to find the pleasantly revealing sight of a good pair - such as those in bikini tops, or bras - was not unusual. Finding a depiction of actual nakedness was a rare treat. This involved media such as television, film, and print (no Interwebs back then), artwork, swimming, and beachgoing. (Note that this is how a lot of boys find porn in the home.) This was a matter I tried to hide, or do surreptitiously, certainly with a bit of shame and my conscience weighing on me. I had the idea that I wasn't supposed to see naked breasts or stare at them even if they were somewhat covered, even though this was precisely how so much entertainment or advertising was designed, or how some women intentionally dressed. Ah, so confusing for a growing boy, especially before I knew what masturbation was.
Well, I'm a husband now, and it isn't a sin to enjoy what God gave my wife. Good ol' Solomon even has passages in the Bible encouraging me to enjoy them. Even when we are clothed, I like embracing her from behind and lifting them in my hands, kissing her on her neck, maybe getting a glimpse of her cleavage from over her shoulder.
And wives, it isn't a sin for your husband to enjoy what God or one of his helpers (plastic surgeon) has given you.
So put your body to good, clean, fun use, and don't hide your breasts during lovemaking, or neglect the ways they can be used to enhance lovemaking.
Isn't it great that they can feed your babies and make your husband happy? Wonderful things.
BOOBS!
I've offered this disclaimer before and I'm offering it again: I'm talking about sex, what I find to be sexy, turn-ons, etc. If this is a problem for you, skip this entry. I'm a happily married man, so if I get all hot and bothered, I can find a satisfying resolution without engaging in sin. I know not everyone is in the same situation.
On with the show.
Ladies, treating you in a way that makes you feel special often involves a lot of planning, shopping, spending, and talking on the part of your man. Gifts, flowers, cards, sweets, jewelry, spa treatments, dinner at a table service fine dining establishment... stuff like that.
Conversely, you can make your man feel special by simply thrusting your naked breasts into his face.
Am I a boob man? I wouldn't say that. I love every bit of a woman's body – particularly my wife's. But I would be lying if I denied that my wife's ample boobs, hidden as they were in a bra and top, didn't help attract me to her. I also noticed her small waist and bare midriff, her beautiful smile, long hair, etc.
My wife does have breasts on the larger side of the scale.
But women with small breasts can be extremely attractive, too. Men have varying tastes. Yeah, bigger breasts get more attention because... well, something that is there gets more attention than something that isn't.
Some men prefer smaller natural breasts over larger breasts with implants in them. Yet almost all of these men will still like their wife's breasts if they do have implants because they were reconstructed after a cancer battle or some accident – because for husbands, it is more about the woman sporting the breasts, not the flesh itself.
Ladies - if you are a wife, do not hide those beautiful marvels of nature (or, modern medicine) from your hubby. You may not consider them anything special, but he likely does. So what if they don't look like those of an enhanced 19-year-old bikini model, who has never breast fed, in a retouched photo with professional lighting and makeup? Thrust them out proudly – with confidence and playfulness. Cup them. Run your hands over them. Place his hands on them and move his hands over them. Stick a nipple in his mouth.
Let him revel in your splendor.
If you get pleasant physical sensations from any of this (women apparently have different levels of sensitivity in their breasts), let him know how good it feels. If it is just like touching any other part of your body... well, know that he likes it even it you'd feel the same if he was kissing your forearm.
If they have any size to them, they can also be used to stimulate his penis, including to the point of orgasm. The easiest way is pushing them together around his lubricated organ and going from there - varying from you being the passive person or the active mover. Extra points if you can manage to involve your mouth into this maneuver.
I've long appreciated and admired breasts. It probably started when I was breastfed as an infant. I have a vague memory of being breastfed as one of my earliest memories. I will forever be notorious in my family for an incident recorded on audio tape of me describing a drawing I had made of my mother earlier that day in pre-school. "These are her eyes, this is her mouth, these are her boobies..."
"Very observant little boy," my father can be heard noting.
Yes, males of all ages stare at boobs. A lot of us haven't developed the skill of averting our gaze for politeness, purity, or any other good reason, such as avoiding walking into a wall. Of course I notice if a woman has a nice set, but I try to focus on my wife, and her nice set even if she isn't with me at the moment. Heck, I've always been a little shy anyway, so I've never been the type to gawk or leer at another live person (that is, unless we're talking about my wife, or one of the women with whom I was fornicating in my rebellious bachelor years), and I've never seen a stripper or topless dancer perform in person, even rejecting attempts to take me to a "club" on the night of my bachelor party.
I do like the sight of breasts, though.
Boys, like men, are visual creatures. From what I can tell, my pre-pubescent and pubescent quest to find the pleasantly revealing sight of a good pair - such as those in bikini tops, or bras - was not unusual. Finding a depiction of actual nakedness was a rare treat. This involved media such as television, film, and print (no Interwebs back then), artwork, swimming, and beachgoing. (Note that this is how a lot of boys find porn in the home.) This was a matter I tried to hide, or do surreptitiously, certainly with a bit of shame and my conscience weighing on me. I had the idea that I wasn't supposed to see naked breasts or stare at them even if they were somewhat covered, even though this was precisely how so much entertainment or advertising was designed, or how some women intentionally dressed. Ah, so confusing for a growing boy, especially before I knew what masturbation was.
Well, I'm a husband now, and it isn't a sin to enjoy what God gave my wife. Good ol' Solomon even has passages in the Bible encouraging me to enjoy them. Even when we are clothed, I like embracing her from behind and lifting them in my hands, kissing her on her neck, maybe getting a glimpse of her cleavage from over her shoulder.
And wives, it isn't a sin for your husband to enjoy what God or one of his helpers (plastic surgeon) has given you.
So put your body to good, clean, fun use, and don't hide your breasts during lovemaking, or neglect the ways they can be used to enhance lovemaking.
Isn't it great that they can feed your babies and make your husband happy? Wonderful things.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
New Implants a Precursor to a Decamp
I love listening to Dr. Laura. She has posted and read my stuff before. There are only a few areas where I have any disagreement with her, and I think listening to her show and reading her books can make your life better. They have made me a better person.
She posts notable letters (some of which she read on-air) to her website, and I read through them every week.
Recently, a caller to her radio show wasn't comfortable supporting his wife's plans for breast enhancement. "S" wrote in to say:
Husbands are also fools for supporting this. Think about it – these guys were already attracted to these women. Why should they pay for her to change her body? She isn't doing it for them. She's doing it because she thinks it will get her a better financial offer, or because she wants more attention from other men.
Of course there are some exceptions to this. A wife who has experienced disease, an accident, or an assault - or even breast feeding or significant weight loss - that has disfigured or significantly changed her breasts may feel like "restoring" them will bring her more confidence or ease the memory of a bad experience.
But in general, husbands can handle the fact that their wife is getting older. Any guy who can't handle that should not get married in the first place. Her breasts may have been what caught his eye in the first place, but if he hasn’t moved beyond that and found passion for her as a whole person, then there's a problem. In other words, I'm attracted to my wife's breasts, but that attraction is now based more on the fact that they are a part of her rather than how they take up space. And yes, I do like how they take up space. But I love the fact that she's committed to breastfeeding, regardless of the effect it will have on how her breasts look.
If a wife really, really insists on getting breast enhancement surgery, and using community property to pay for it, her husband should insist on a legally enforceable post-nuptial agreement (yes, there are such things) that gives him some restitution should she subsequently bolt.
She posts notable letters (some of which she read on-air) to her website, and I read through them every week.
Recently, a caller to her radio show wasn't comfortable supporting his wife's plans for breast enhancement. "S" wrote in to say:
I am a living testament to your response, which was "She's not getting them for you." After a 20 year marriage, the last gift I bought for my wife was a set of new breasts. She filed for divorce about 9 months later, leaving me to raise that now 3rd Class Petty Officer in the Coast Guard all by my lonesome.Some women get their boyfriends to pay for their breast enhancement (or some other plastic surgery). Some guys offer. Either way, those guys are fools.
So when friends and acquaintances tell me their wives want new breasts... I always grin, wink and warn them... "Before you call the plastic surgeon... call a lawyer...!"
Husbands are also fools for supporting this. Think about it – these guys were already attracted to these women. Why should they pay for her to change her body? She isn't doing it for them. She's doing it because she thinks it will get her a better financial offer, or because she wants more attention from other men.
Of course there are some exceptions to this. A wife who has experienced disease, an accident, or an assault - or even breast feeding or significant weight loss - that has disfigured or significantly changed her breasts may feel like "restoring" them will bring her more confidence or ease the memory of a bad experience.
But in general, husbands can handle the fact that their wife is getting older. Any guy who can't handle that should not get married in the first place. Her breasts may have been what caught his eye in the first place, but if he hasn’t moved beyond that and found passion for her as a whole person, then there's a problem. In other words, I'm attracted to my wife's breasts, but that attraction is now based more on the fact that they are a part of her rather than how they take up space. And yes, I do like how they take up space. But I love the fact that she's committed to breastfeeding, regardless of the effect it will have on how her breasts look.
If a wife really, really insists on getting breast enhancement surgery, and using community property to pay for it, her husband should insist on a legally enforceable post-nuptial agreement (yes, there are such things) that gives him some restitution should she subsequently bolt.
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