Success Sequence

Certain behaviors and accomplishments are associated with personal success, meaning that if you do these things, you are unlikely to officially be, or stay for long, in the designation of "poverty." Some of you, especially the older you are, haven't stuck to all of these things, but you can start. And if young people are able to adhere to these, they are likely to be successful.

Know Thyself - Knowing thyself will help you avoid wasting energy, money, or time, which is even more precious than money.

Avoid Crime - Serious crime puts you in touch with bad people, limits what you can do, subjects you to extortion, and makes it more likely you'll have to deal with expensive investigations, prosecutions, and lawsuits. It also tarnishes your reputation.

Avoid Substance Abuse - You've got one body. You've got one brain. Don't abuse it. That goes for alcohol, legal and illegal drugs, tobacco, and food. Substance abuse is costly financially as well as in limiting your choices.

Exercise - You don't need to join a gym. You can walk, swim, bike, play, lift heavy objects, do pushups and situps. Exercise may help you avoid or delay significant health problems. You don't need to exercise for two hours per day. But if you're not getting enough movement in while working, you need to do it on your own time. If you're not worried about being vulnerable, things like NOT looking for the closest parking spot, but rather parking far enough to get some brisk walking in, can help, as can taking stairs or steps instead of elevator or escalator.

Good Hygiene - Nobody wants to be around someone who smells bad or looks unkempt. Washing your body, keeping your hair and hands clean, taking care of your teeth are all important. Dental problems are expensive!

Build Friendships and Networks - Even if you're not religious, you should consider joining a religious congregation. Many don't require any formal process to get the benefits of networking, and with a wide variety (at least here in the USA), you can find something that doesn't turn you off. But that's just one way. Joining clubs, getting friendly with your neighbors, or any countless other ways to make friends can be help you.

Business Is Not Play - When it comes to things like employment, financial transactions, purchases, etc., get things in writing. Make sure you've read and understood anything to which you're agreeing. Know what's going on. Know your rights, entitlements, obligations, and options.

See Doctors - A lot of health problems will be much smaller if diagnosed early. Go to your doctors.

Develop Systems and Habits That Work For You - This goes for just about any area of life. Maybe getting your exercise when you first wake up is best for you. Maybe you're better off doing it just before you go to bed. Maybe you're not the kind of person to ever have a spotless house with nothing at all out of place, but as long as you have ways of meeting your obligations without undue waste (for example, wasting hours looking for one piece of mail), that's fine.

Get Educated/Trained/Mentored - Education may or may not involve college, depending on what you need. Maybe a trade school is what you need. Finding an older, experienced person, especially if they're planning to retire in the next five to ten years, to mentor you, can be an huge help. The goal here is to be able to earn (more) money. How you get there depends on what it is you're going to do.

Earn Income and Seek Better Paydays - Get a job, just about any legal job, if you're not getting the job you REALLY want. Getting a job or getting work doesn't mean you can coast. Seek jobs or work that will pay you better even as you already work a job. Do NOT feel badly that you will need to leave behind someone who hired you when you get a better offer. In this aspect of life, you need to do what is best for you. That's business.

Plan, Budget, Save, Invest, Insure - Until you're retired, you need to spend less than you're earning, and invest the surplus. You need to know how much you're spending on what. It's better to save up to make big purchases than it is to pay interest. Actual needs come before wants. You should have an emergency fund. Big purchases, like vehicles or a home, can only be done if you're going to be able to afford adequate insurance coverage. You should have growing retirement funds. If you want a home (meaning, your own building with dirt and a permanent foundation under it), you want to be able to put a big down payment on it if not buy it outright.

Stay Free - This is presented by marriage-and-family sellers as "Get married before having children." However, it's much easier to succeed financially if you don't ever legally sign away your earnings and don't knock anyone up. Do not co-sign for anything, do not have joint accounts or joint assets. Her name should not be on a mortgage, deed, lease, rental agreement, or loan for which you have paid or are making any payments. You can stay free either by running game or going to monk mode. When you run game, you keep dates to $40 or less. A free man can earn a lot less money and still be successful, because he only has to pay his own way through life. Do not marry.

Some economists and sociologists will tell you, or at least imply, that the items highlighted in green are enough for most people to rise/stay out of poverty. But the more of these one does, the better. 

As always, there's the "fine print." There ARE people who get a high school education, are continually employed thereafter, and don't have children outside of marriage and who stay in poverty. Also, correlation isn't causation. For example, the reason someone might not complete their high school education or equivalent is that they had a parent die or leave and they had to get a job to support the family. Or they got sick. And these things kept them poor. It wasn't that they didn't complete high school. Someone can do all of the things listed above, and some crime, some disaster, some illness, some injury can keep them in poverty.

Consider, though: Doesn't it ring true that if someone is able to do those things, it is likely they will stay, or rise, out of poverty? Or, to put it another way, aren't you more likely to be poor of you don't earn income, if you don't manage your finances with any awareness or planning, if you start cranking out kids with various women from an early age?

We have many examples of people who were in poverty but worked their way out of it. Their common behaviors can indicate how others can do it.

What Is A Real Man?

A real man is any human being who is:
1. Male

2. 18 years of age or older
3. Not fictional

Whether a man does or doesn't do any certain things you or anyone else likes or doesn't like has ZERO determination over whether he is a real man or not.

What is Running Game?

I'm not talking about sprinting.

Running Game is a way of dealing with women that reduces costs and risks while increasing sexual or personal success.

Running game works because of how women are.

A man who is experienced and skilled at running game will have just about as much sex/affection/company as he wants without spending a lot of time, money, and effort getting it.

Please note that running game is not about assault. It relies on consent.

Running game is how men become David and avoid being Rick.

Men who run game might be seen as jerks, bad boys, a--holes, cads, players, unreliable, aloof, arrogant, immature, users, selfish etc. None of that matters, because men who are running game keep their dating life separate from their professional life and the rest of their private life, and they get what they want. It's fine for a woman to hate him if he's already gotten what he wanted from her.

Running game can share some tactics with "pick up artistry," but the goal of running game isn't to try to find a girlfriend or wife, just a woman to date, and usually, multiple women, so that he has options any night of the week. Running game doesn't mean a man will get every woman he wants, but part of running game helps him to quickly sort out, and stop seeing, the women who will be too much work, or aren't going to have sex with him, or at least won't have sex with him unless he spends a lot of time, money, and effort on her. These women don't need to be wife material because running game includes avoiding marriage. These don't need to be women the man would want to introduce to his family, friends, or co-workers because he's not going to be doing that. They don't need to be accomplished or smart or even kind. They just have to turn him on, be willing to have sex, or whatever else it is he really wants, and not have certain red flags.

Running game often goes against what men and boys are told about women.

But it works.

I explain how in subsequent posts, most of which have the "running game" tag.

What Do I Mean By Free Men?

I like using the term "Free Men."

What do I mean by that?

For the purposes of this blog and related communications, Free Men are men who are free of legal and financial entanglements with women.

Ideally, they are also free of social bondage to women and do not have any dependent children, especially not children over which a woman has any parental rights. 

A Free Man is, at the very least:

• Unmarried
  
  
• Residing independently from women
  
  
• Without legal or financial obligations with women, such as a cosign for a loan or account, co-ownership of property or anything else of significant value, a mortgage or rental agreement, paying child support, paying alimony or palimony. A woman should not have access to your home or finances; she should not be on a lease or rental agreement with you and should have no ownership rights over any home you own. You should never impregnate a woman or donate sperm or in any way look after or pay for her child (such as with a single mother who wants to be your "friend" or girlfriend.)
  
  
• Unrestrained by any agreement to exclusivity with a woman

Usually, he's also going to be childfree.

This Blog Helps Others and Me

[This post is being bumped up because it is still relevant.]

Someone left a comment after this post about how most men don't need a wife and explaining how men can manage life well without one:

I wonder if your therapist knows about this obsessive blog or your preoccupation with such negative views. I really don’t believe this blog is healthy for you or your peace of mind (or your children’s in the long run). I hope someday you will find peace and your way out of this cage you seem to be trapped in. I hope God gives you the tools you need to do this and you can be whole, happy and fulfilled again. I’m sorry if this seems presumptuous but you open your life to interpretation when you wrote a blog like this. 

It seems strange that comment was left on a post encouraging men to be responsible for themselves and manage life well.

I appreciate the well-wishes.

I probably mentioned that I do this to my therapist, perhaps years ago. At this point I go to him because it satisfies my wife. I wouldn't even call it therapy at this point. But, my insurer covers most of the cost and it is time I don't have to run around taking care of everyone else at home. I do find writing this blog helpful and therapeutic in and of itself.

The comment doesn't bother attempting to counter anything I've posted on this blog. Like many others I get here and on Twitter, it is pretty much just saying "You shouldn't say this."

Why not?

What am I primarily doing with this blog?

1. Warning, preparing, and encouraging men for dealing with the world as it is. (And the truth about the world is the truth regardless of my own personal experiences.)

2. Sharing my own personal experiences.

3. Letting women see how men think and experience life.

Why would someone be upset by any of those? They can argue about the first and third. They can present a different perspective, cite facts that might appear to go against what I've written, etc. They can't really argue with my personal experiences. They can say they don't think they should be shared. OK. Why not?

It's fine for people to share their experiences that have been very different from mine. It's done all of the time.

For all three of those things above, mostly the first two, my perspective has shifted over time, so I am persuadable. I used to be a marriage seller. And I use to be deluded about my own marriage. The shift can be seen on this very blog. So if I have something wrong, show me.

There seems to be a segment of society that doesn't want the truth about these things discussed. Everything is supposed to be hidden. It's somehow wrong, according to some, for a man to be honest about his experiences or to point out the realities of today's world.

I don't agree. While not all truths need to be spoken in every place, at every time, to every person, the truths I present in this blog need to be shared, especially for men who are contemplating something that is going to significantly and negatively impact them for the rest of their lives.

Important Messages to Young Men - Life is Short

The introduction to this series is here.

Life is short, time is limited, and time is one of the most valuable things you have. It may not look like that now, it might not feel like it, but unless you die young, one day you will look back and marvel at how fast the decades went by. If you get an illness that takes you out earlier, you'll know even harder that life is short.

 

Nobody is guaranteed another day.

Everything is a trade off, everything has a cost, including with time. Actively spending time doing one thing will usually mean you can't spend that time doing another. Keep perspective on what's going to matter tomorrow, a month from now, a year from now, a decade from now.

Value your time. Learn to say no, both to yourself and others.

Avoid pointless timesucks. Rest, relaxation, and recreation are important, but avoid sloth or frittering your life away.

Look for ways to save time. For example, being familiar with trends and events in pop culture can help with socialization and certain lines of work, but there are certain reviews/aggregators of pop culture that give you what you might want to know without wasting your time.

Not all that is valuable is material. Experiences and memories thereof can be worthwhile.

Delayed gratification and saving for the future are necessary, but don't neglect enjoying the moment, smelling the roses, and rewarding yourself for doing well. There are choices to be made.

Most people need to do some things they don't want to do in order to get to where they want to be. Many people dislike exercising, but they like being fit.

Part of being successful is having to do things you don't want to do less and less, especially as you mature. A practical example is that someone who works smart and hard now might be able to take it easy when they're older, rather than having to continue to work in jobs they don't like.

One of the biggest benefits to having wealth and power is that, in theory, you can spend much less time doing things you don't want to do. For example, if you hate shopping, at least for most things, you can pay someone to shop for you. The downside is having to defend your wealth and power from those who want to take it away from you.

Keep in mind that if you're going to be a husband and/or father, and do those things well, those things place enormous demands on your time and you'll be spending much of your life doing things you don't want to do. Running game saves time when it comes to women.

Life it short. Be wise with your time.

I Keep Showing Reality

I'm active on X/Twitter.

You can write to me there, you can follow along as I examine posts that deal with topics I address on this blog.

I have some ongoing "tweet threads" there that are especially relevant as the marriage-selling push ramps up for the mid-February's horror scene.

Here's a thread on dead marital bedrooms and some other marriage "joys."

Here's a thread featuring marriages that ended, but not in divorce. Remember, divorce is only one way a marriage can end badly.

Here's a thread about the "joys" of parenting.

Signing a terrible state contract doesn't benefit men.

Get a vasectomy.

Don't marry.

Don't live with a woman.

Don't get financially entangled with a woman.

Stay free, men!

One Sign It is Time to Move On

Guys, most of you shouldn't be in a supposedly exclusive relationship, but whether you are or you aren't, there are signs that it is time to dump a woman or ghost her or never call her up from the bullpen again.

One of those signs is when you have to ask for her to do something sexually she used to do eagerly and enthusiastically without you even having to ask.

Running Game - Avoid Meeting the People in Her Life

Running Game isn't about building relationships that lead to alleged exclusivity, living together, partnerships, marriage, or co-parenting. It's about keeping things casual and keeping it no strings attached, thereby keeping it inexpensive for you.

So, you don't want to meet her friends, family, co-workers, or neighbors. She shouldn't have any children to meet. You might not be able to avoid meeting her roommate, if she has one. But this is one reason you don't approach women who are in groups; you don't want to meet her friends.

Why?

There's no upside to meeting them and there could be serious downsides. They will try to get information out of you. They might discourage her from seeing you. You don't want her getting the idea that you could be "the one" and will be integrating into her family and the rest of her life. You want her thinking of you as her hookup, her booty call, the guy she has fun with.

To successfully avoid meeting these other people in her life, you have to avoid dates that will involve any of them, and if she invites you to a party, get-together, family event, a trip, or some public event or expensive venue, you have to be too busy to do those things. In general, you need to avoid doing anything that doesn't get you two alone in private, anything that isn't like dropping by her place late at night. Any dates until you're doing that regularly should be at a bar or similar venue, with the possibility of going back to her place or a hotel room, but not your place. If, at one of those early dates, she's got her friend or family member there, you need to act like you got an emergency message and leave.

If she stops seeing you because, after you established this as a booty call situation, you won't meet her at her workplace holiday party or family picnic, so be it. Running game doesn't mean every woman will get it on with you or keep getting it on with you; it is about quickly filtering out the ones who won't or who are too much work or start withholding in order to make demands. So some women you'll have to drop or will drop you. That's OK. There are plenty of fish in the sea (there are always additional attractive women being grown and coming of age), and you don't need to give up your freedom, time, money, or energy trying to "make it work" with any given woman.

Gifts For a Husband and Father

NOTE: I meant to post this weeks ago. Even if this is too late for this Christmas, it’s still useful for other occasions, like birthdays, Fathers Day, etc. 

While this is written from my perspective, it can work for the man in your life who is a husband and father, especially if he’s your husband or your father.

The best gifts for me as a husband and dad are, in no particular order:

‪1. Experiences I don’t have to plan, will enjoy, and don’t require I be constantly looking after someone.‬ Maybe it a tour of a place he’ll enjoy? Maybe a getaway? A meal at a special place? A cruise? A sporting event or concert?

‪2. “Homemade.” This can be anything from artwork to food/treat; something you have reason to believe I’ll enjoy.‬ Custom ties, socks, undershirts, etc. can fulfill this. Something with the personal touch from the wife and/or kids.

‪3. Something I’ll enjoy/use but wouldn’t indulge myself by buying because I have responsibilities to my family.‬

‪Especially as a sole income earner, stuff I can and usually will buy for myself isn’t as good.

“Giving” your husband something sexual you used to do with him but stopped and only will do as a special occasion gift is insulting. You should be doing it anyway, if you can.

Conversely, if there’s something he’s wanted but you’ve never done with/for him before, initiating it as a gift can be great.

Watch Out, Men!

We’re coming down to the wire for Christmas, and New Years Eve will be here before you know it.

I’ve repeatedly warned you.

If you’re not married, you need to make sure you don’t do anything that gets you closer to being in that terrible state contract.

Don’t marry.

Don’t propose, even if you’ve bought the ring and have it all planned out.

Don’t be spending Christmas Eve/Day or New Years Eve/Day with any woman who you’ve been dating for a while who is thinking of you as husband material.

If you’re currently set to bring a woman around your family or go with her to see hers, disrupt that now! Cancel! Say something came up, maybe witb work or that there’s a family emergency or some drama.

Most marriages fail.

The terrible state contract brings you nothing good you can’t otherwise get for less cost.

It’s never been easier to thrive living on your own.

Reject the idea you need to subject yourself to a series of humiliation rituals so that you can spend your time, money, and energy trying to please an irrational, moody person wjo will, most likely, resent you.

Embrace freedom, peace, and autonomy.

Stay free, men!

Comment Here on Dating (or not) Women With Minor Children

There are so many comments that have been left on my blog's most popular entry that I'm encouraging people to comment here instead, so your comment doesn't get lost in the shuffle. The topic: I discourage men (and women, for that matter) from dating women with minor children. You might disagree with me. Maybe you have stories to tell. This is the place!

I urge people not to add chaos to their child's life. Don't date single mothers, or mothers of minor or dependent children!

And before you ask again, here is something I wrote to a widowed mother.

Disagree? Agree? Do you have success stories? Horror stories? Comment below! BUT PLEASE DO NOT USE PROFANITY (CUSS WORDS) in your comment or I probably won't publish it. This is acceptable: "That's bull****!" Writing out the word in full is not acceptable. No F word. No C word. No S word. No D word. You get the idea.

Rob and Michele Reiner

As far as I know, I never met the Reiners. I have no direct knowledge how they were in private, on a personal level. Rob Reiner’s politics, for the most part, were different from mine. Clearly he cared and decided to get involved.

What I do know, and appreciate, is his prolific and highly effective work in television and movies. While he was an accomplished, lauded, and influential actor and director, even just his work as a producer was more than most people realize, and has impacted our culture.

If his longevity would have been anything like his father’s, he could have still been contributing to entertainment for decades to come.

But now he’s dead at 78, and so is his wife Michele (68), allegedly murdered by being stabbed to death by one of their sons.

If current allegations are true, the murderer had been in substance abuse rehab at least 17 times, had been homeless at times, and was a difficult person.

Imagine all of the time, money, heartache, worry, aggravation, frustration, pain, embarrassment, trouble, and shame Rob and Michele Reiner spent or endured over the last 20-30 years, trying to help their son. Imagine it ending with the terror, horror, and pain of being stabbed to death.

As of this writing, I don’t know what Nick’s defense narrative will be. A possible angle will be akin to another local case of double parental murders, the Menendez case: trashing dad as an abusive monster.

Think about this the next time someone insists the childfree will regret not being parents: Rob & Michele Reiner are unavaible for comment.

Also, despite this being Rob Reiner’s second marriage and second marriages with step kids in the mix, like this one, have a 70-percent divorce rate, this marriage didn’t end in divorce and won’t be counted in the divorce statistics. Divorce is just one way a marriage can end badly; this way was even worse.

Free men have a ZERO percent chance of being divorced or being murderered by their child.

Was It Really Wasted Time?

There are women who look back on a marriage or relationship that ended and they say something like "All those years, wasted!"

Especially if she was happy, enjoying herself, or feeling that her needs were met for most of that relationship, what does she mean that those were "wasted" years?

If her only goal was to have the man be with her into old age and then for him to die on her or outlive her, sure, it was wasted, if you dismiss that being with him helped her prepare to be with someone else - someone she wouldn't meet or wouldn't have dated before.

Or, if her only goal was to have children and she didn't because he couldn't, wouldn't, or she didn't think he'd make a good father, and now she's too old, sure, it was wasted, if you think she definitely would have had children with another guy, which we can't know with certainty.

But what about the companionship? The attention he gave her? All of the good times they had together? Things he did for her? For that all to be a waste, it means she didn't and doesn't value those things. Men, stop spending time, energy, and money on a woman who doesn't appreciate it!

The "wasted years" comment, upon careful consideration, sounds like ingratitude in most cases. An exception would be if we know for certain (and how can we) that she would have had a better time with someone else. It makes sense if she's saying "Bob, who I'm with now, wanted to date me, but I was busy with that jerk Joe!" Understand though, that her statement that she "wasted" those years is about her, not Joe. It was her choice.

Guys, if you're looking for an ongoing relationship, be very careful about a woman who says a past relationship was "wasted" time, unless she can explain how without sounding like she doesn't value affection, experiences together, gifts, etc. If you're just looking for dates and not a relationship, then be one of those guys she will say she wasted time with... just don't waste too much of her time. Keep the dates are short as you can!

Women, are you wasting your time? Does the journey matter, or only the destination?