As I frequently say, I'm a huge fan of Dr. Laura. I agree with her almost all of the time and I think she does a lot of good. She had to deal with cancer not that long ago and I hope/pray (despite what she might say about hoping and praying) she never has to deal with cancer again.
It is nearly impossible for cancer not to change someone, and I think breast cancer changed her. As she said on the air, she had breast cancer and had a single mastectomy and, thus far, opted not to have reconstructive surgery.
In the past, when women called to get her advice on plastic surgery, including breast surgery, she used to be very supportive of "restorative" surgery, to counter what disease, surgery, aging, or breastfeeding had done. We're talking women trying to get back to the way they used to be, not women who used to be B-cups going for DDs.
Lately, though, she has discouraged women from even trying to get back to the way they used to look through surgery.
Showing posts with label breast implants. Show all posts
Showing posts with label breast implants. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 14, 2017
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Some Things Are Better Not Said
I'm glad I subscribed to the paid side of Dr. Laura's website. I did so right before she announced she was going to leave terrestrial radio. Thankfully, this subscription has allowed me to hear every hour of her show by downloading the podcasts, which is especially helpful since I don't have satellite radio.
The show has changed a bit since debuting as satellite-based on January 3. I like the new, less restrained tone even more and there's more content – something like 12 more minutes per hour. The format is a little more wide, as in addition to people calling with their moral dilemmas, Dr. Laura will raise a topic on the broadcast or earlier via Facebook or e-mail, and take calls on that topic as well.
As usual, I agree with her on most things, and just about anything that's really important. But again, I'm going to talk about something on which we might have some level of disagreement.
Dr. Laura has repeatedly supported women who have called in who have wanted to have breast augmentation/enhancement surgery after they've had an accident, disease, or season of breastfeeding that has impacted their breasts to the point that... the woman wants a surgical enhacement. The key thing here is that the woman has wanted it.
Contrast that with a call from the first hour this past Friday, the first call of the day. A woman's breasts were signficantly changed through breastfeeding and the change has been a turn-off for her husband. Dr. Laura ripped into the husband (who wasn't on the phone as the wife made the call), and a lot of people might agree. Isn't it terrible that he's turned off by something that resulted from the nourishment of his children and bonding his children to their mother?
Well... it is terrible that he told his wife that he was turned off because of this. That was stupid on his part.
Yeah, in a perfect world, he would not be turned off. But aside from some sort of therapy or ongoing conditioning, men generally can't control what turns them on and turns them off. Perhaps what the husband should have done is kept his mouth shut, made excuses for any dysfunction she noticed, and sought a therapist who could help him. Maybe she'd be upset by a sense that he was not being open and honest with her, but it is better than telling her he's turned off by something about her that she can't change without surgery.
Let's be precise about what we're talking about. He didn't say he didn't want to be with her, or that he no longer loved her, or anything like that. He was foolishly forthcoming about something that changed.
Of course I was attracted to my wife, in part, because of her physical beauty, including her body, including her breasts. I would not have married her without being physically attracted to her. But I did not marry her on that basis alone. I married her knowing that I could and would still love her even if, God forbid, something happened that disfigured her. Breastfeeding changed and reduced her breasts, to be sure. I wish it wasn't so. And while I recognize that breastfeeding was a great thing, that thought does not sexually arouse me. Thankfully, I am not turned off, either, by the change.
Some men report being turned off, or fear they will be turned off, by pregnancy or by watching their child emerge from their wife's vagina. I did not find either a turn off. I thought pregnancy made my wife even more beautiful (and her breasts even better, too). Watching my children emerge from her vagina, I was in awe, and felt this intense bonding to my wife. But that's me. It may be something some men don't want to see. And my wife didn't get fat when pregnant. She got... pregnant.
Husbands and wives, over the course of a decades-long marriage, are likely going to be turned off by certain things that happen to their spouses that the spouse may not be able to do anything about, at least without taking extraordinary measures. The important thing is working through that and being there, in every right way, for each other. (Sometimes, that involves not saying something.) The only way to avoid getting older is to die. I;d rather have my wife with me. I'd rather have my kids than to have my wife's body the way it was before carrying, birthing, and feeding them. I'd rather have money for other purposes than spending it on breast surgery. And I'd rather encourage her to give me access to her breasts than say anything that would make her less likely to do so!
Ladies, gentlemen.... your experiences and thoughts?
The show has changed a bit since debuting as satellite-based on January 3. I like the new, less restrained tone even more and there's more content – something like 12 more minutes per hour. The format is a little more wide, as in addition to people calling with their moral dilemmas, Dr. Laura will raise a topic on the broadcast or earlier via Facebook or e-mail, and take calls on that topic as well.
As usual, I agree with her on most things, and just about anything that's really important. But again, I'm going to talk about something on which we might have some level of disagreement.
Dr. Laura has repeatedly supported women who have called in who have wanted to have breast augmentation/enhancement surgery after they've had an accident, disease, or season of breastfeeding that has impacted their breasts to the point that... the woman wants a surgical enhacement. The key thing here is that the woman has wanted it.
Contrast that with a call from the first hour this past Friday, the first call of the day. A woman's breasts were signficantly changed through breastfeeding and the change has been a turn-off for her husband. Dr. Laura ripped into the husband (who wasn't on the phone as the wife made the call), and a lot of people might agree. Isn't it terrible that he's turned off by something that resulted from the nourishment of his children and bonding his children to their mother?
Well... it is terrible that he told his wife that he was turned off because of this. That was stupid on his part.
Yeah, in a perfect world, he would not be turned off. But aside from some sort of therapy or ongoing conditioning, men generally can't control what turns them on and turns them off. Perhaps what the husband should have done is kept his mouth shut, made excuses for any dysfunction she noticed, and sought a therapist who could help him. Maybe she'd be upset by a sense that he was not being open and honest with her, but it is better than telling her he's turned off by something about her that she can't change without surgery.
Let's be precise about what we're talking about. He didn't say he didn't want to be with her, or that he no longer loved her, or anything like that. He was foolishly forthcoming about something that changed.
Of course I was attracted to my wife, in part, because of her physical beauty, including her body, including her breasts. I would not have married her without being physically attracted to her. But I did not marry her on that basis alone. I married her knowing that I could and would still love her even if, God forbid, something happened that disfigured her. Breastfeeding changed and reduced her breasts, to be sure. I wish it wasn't so. And while I recognize that breastfeeding was a great thing, that thought does not sexually arouse me. Thankfully, I am not turned off, either, by the change.
Some men report being turned off, or fear they will be turned off, by pregnancy or by watching their child emerge from their wife's vagina. I did not find either a turn off. I thought pregnancy made my wife even more beautiful (and her breasts even better, too). Watching my children emerge from her vagina, I was in awe, and felt this intense bonding to my wife. But that's me. It may be something some men don't want to see. And my wife didn't get fat when pregnant. She got... pregnant.
Husbands and wives, over the course of a decades-long marriage, are likely going to be turned off by certain things that happen to their spouses that the spouse may not be able to do anything about, at least without taking extraordinary measures. The important thing is working through that and being there, in every right way, for each other. (Sometimes, that involves not saying something.) The only way to avoid getting older is to die. I;d rather have my wife with me. I'd rather have my kids than to have my wife's body the way it was before carrying, birthing, and feeding them. I'd rather have money for other purposes than spending it on breast surgery. And I'd rather encourage her to give me access to her breasts than say anything that would make her less likely to do so!
Ladies, gentlemen.... your experiences and thoughts?
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
New Implants a Precursor to a Decamp
I love listening to Dr. Laura. She has posted and read my stuff before. There are only a few areas where I have any disagreement with her, and I think listening to her show and reading her books can make your life better. They have made me a better person.
She posts notable letters (some of which she read on-air) to her website, and I read through them every week.
Recently, a caller to her radio show wasn't comfortable supporting his wife's plans for breast enhancement. "S" wrote in to say:
Husbands are also fools for supporting this. Think about it – these guys were already attracted to these women. Why should they pay for her to change her body? She isn't doing it for them. She's doing it because she thinks it will get her a better financial offer, or because she wants more attention from other men.
Of course there are some exceptions to this. A wife who has experienced disease, an accident, or an assault - or even breast feeding or significant weight loss - that has disfigured or significantly changed her breasts may feel like "restoring" them will bring her more confidence or ease the memory of a bad experience.
But in general, husbands can handle the fact that their wife is getting older. Any guy who can't handle that should not get married in the first place. Her breasts may have been what caught his eye in the first place, but if he hasn’t moved beyond that and found passion for her as a whole person, then there's a problem. In other words, I'm attracted to my wife's breasts, but that attraction is now based more on the fact that they are a part of her rather than how they take up space. And yes, I do like how they take up space. But I love the fact that she's committed to breastfeeding, regardless of the effect it will have on how her breasts look.
If a wife really, really insists on getting breast enhancement surgery, and using community property to pay for it, her husband should insist on a legally enforceable post-nuptial agreement (yes, there are such things) that gives him some restitution should she subsequently bolt.
She posts notable letters (some of which she read on-air) to her website, and I read through them every week.
Recently, a caller to her radio show wasn't comfortable supporting his wife's plans for breast enhancement. "S" wrote in to say:
I am a living testament to your response, which was "She's not getting them for you." After a 20 year marriage, the last gift I bought for my wife was a set of new breasts. She filed for divorce about 9 months later, leaving me to raise that now 3rd Class Petty Officer in the Coast Guard all by my lonesome.Some women get their boyfriends to pay for their breast enhancement (or some other plastic surgery). Some guys offer. Either way, those guys are fools.
So when friends and acquaintances tell me their wives want new breasts... I always grin, wink and warn them... "Before you call the plastic surgeon... call a lawyer...!"
Husbands are also fools for supporting this. Think about it – these guys were already attracted to these women. Why should they pay for her to change her body? She isn't doing it for them. She's doing it because she thinks it will get her a better financial offer, or because she wants more attention from other men.
Of course there are some exceptions to this. A wife who has experienced disease, an accident, or an assault - or even breast feeding or significant weight loss - that has disfigured or significantly changed her breasts may feel like "restoring" them will bring her more confidence or ease the memory of a bad experience.
But in general, husbands can handle the fact that their wife is getting older. Any guy who can't handle that should not get married in the first place. Her breasts may have been what caught his eye in the first place, but if he hasn’t moved beyond that and found passion for her as a whole person, then there's a problem. In other words, I'm attracted to my wife's breasts, but that attraction is now based more on the fact that they are a part of her rather than how they take up space. And yes, I do like how they take up space. But I love the fact that she's committed to breastfeeding, regardless of the effect it will have on how her breasts look.
If a wife really, really insists on getting breast enhancement surgery, and using community property to pay for it, her husband should insist on a legally enforceable post-nuptial agreement (yes, there are such things) that gives him some restitution should she subsequently bolt.
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