No, Life Doesn't Have To Be That Way

You probably know someone, and maybe that someone is you, who is in a marriage or relationship with someone who brings a lot of trouble into your life, who is difficult, or who is "too much work," and your or his reaction is "Well, that's life." Or "That's just the way things are." Or "This is the way relationships are, and I have to put up with it."

NO.

You do not.

Life doesn't have to be that way.

That's doesn't have to be life.

Men today can be FREE.

You don't have to take on her problems.
You don't have to be nagged.

You don't have to be abused.
You don't have to put up with her destroying, damaging, or tossing out your possessions.
You don't have to deal with mood swings and bad moods.
You don't have to deal with her drama, friends, and family.
You don't have to allow her to antagonize your family or friends.

You don't have to deal with her mental illnesses or personality disorders.
You have don't to be yelled at.
You don't have to argue.
You don't have to deal with constant criticism.
You don't have to "compromise."

You don't have to sacrifice.
You don't have to cater to her while she sexually rejects you and forbids you from even noticing other women or even touching yourself.
You don't have to jump through hoops and dance just to be allowed your life.
You don't have to let her keep your balls in her purse.

You don't have to apologize for things you didn't do or things you did that weren't wrong.
You don't have to walk on egg shells and tiptoe around her irrational insecurities or sensitivities.
You don't have to spend your time on "honey do" lists.
You don't have to deal with her hysterics.

you don't have to deal with her kids.

You don't have to deal with her debts.

You don't have to deal with her bills.
You don't have to bring lawyers and the state into your relationship.

You don't have to do any of those things for any woman.

Organizations of Which to Be Wary

Recently, a certain fraternal organization started within the last few years and its leader have been getting trashed online. I had been wary and a bit suspicious of the organization and its leader, even though he was saying many things with which I was agreeing. There were a few things he was saying and doing, and the tone he was taking, that made me suspicious. [This has been bumped up from January 2022. They are now supposedly offering a health care plan of sorts. What could go wrong?]

In no particular order, and subject to being revised and expanded, here are some signs you should be skeptical/cautious of joining or associating with an organization:

Dealing With a Bratty Wife

Anyone have any advice of how to deal with a bratty (or bitchy, or whatever you want to call it) wife? It isn't so much that she's being a brat to me (she is, somewhat). It is that she's been bratty towards others, needlessly antagonizing them when they don't do what she wants, when she wants, how she wants. Example... she wanted her brother to babysit. He declined. She started ripping into him about what a loser she thinks he is, point out that she went to college, graduated, got her career going, and doesn't abuse alcohol or pot or illegal drugs (she just loads up on coffee, candy/sugar, and has multiple prescription pills she pops), while he is unemployed, has no college education, and has abused substances... but we still trust him to watch our kids for short amounts of time.

I gently asked if her treatment of her brother was going to make it more or less likely he will want to babysit for us in the future.

I'd like to apologize to her brother and others she's been acting this way towards lately, but I have a strong belief in marital unity and not going behind your spouse's back, and all of that. Besides, she should be the one apologizing, right? Do I encourage her to do so?

My wife has been especially stressed out because of a series of things, but currently it is about an impending surgery. But... dealing with stressful things is part of life and no excuse to antagonize people.

Any tips or suggestions about what to say/do towards her or the people she's antagonized?

Please don't say sex. I can't sleep with her brother. But seriously, sex doesn't relax her or put her in a better mood. It does relax me and put me in a better mood, though. And yes, I do realize I could have avoided dealing with a bratty wife by marrying someone else or not marrying at all. But here we are.

No Iron Man, No Wedding

A woman says she will not marry her boyfriend unless he completes an Iron Man.

If he's already getting everything he wants from her, then there is yet another reason for him NOT to do it.

Can you imagine if the sexes were reversed on this one? What a Beta.

A Reminder of Why Caution is Needed

Here’s a reminder of one reason why people should be extremely cautious about relationships, especially marriage. AP medical writer Lindsey Tanner reports that one in five young adults has a personality disorder. (To steal a joke from a comic, if four of your friends are normal, then it is you.)

Almost one in five young American adults has a personality disorder that interferes with everyday life, and even more abuse alcohol or drugs, researchers reported Monday in the most extensive study of its kind.

The disorders include problems such as obsessive or compulsive tendencies and anti-social behavior that can sometimes lead to violence. The study also found that fewer than 25 percent of college-aged Americans with mental problems get treatment.

And even if they do get treatment, it doesn’t mean they’ll stick with treatment or that it will be effective, or without significant negative side effects.

One expert said personality disorders may be overdiagnosed.

Certainly a possibility, but then if their brain was subjected to unnecessary psychotropic drugs while it was developing, then that is a problem in and of itself.

But others said the results were not surprising since previous, less rigorous evidence has suggested mental problems are common on college campuses and elsewhere.

And that’s just the staff! Heh.

Counting substance abuse, the study found that nearly half of young people surveyed have some sort of psychiatric condition, including students and non-students.

Personality disorders were the second most common problem behind drug or alcohol abuse as a single category. The disorders include obsessive, anti-social and paranoid behaviors that are not mere quirks but actually interfere with ordinary functioning.

Happy dating, everyone!

I notice that the article did not report a gender discrepancy or parity. I wonder.

I know I'm risking the ire of many commenters and fellow bloggers - because these people get difficult when you suggest that they may... get difficult - but unless you want a lot of unnecessary drama and difficulty in your life, I would suggest never committing to anyone until you've been around them enough and in a variety of situations to be sure they don't have a problem like this that is a negative factor in their life, or it will be a problem in your life, too. This is one reason why I now suggest that before marrying, couples visit their doctors with each other, including any mental health professionals, and discuss past and existing problems openly. Please consider that a lot of these problems may be passed down to offspring. If you really think that these people are entitled to a relationship, ease your conscience by realizing that there are other people in the world who can provide them with one. There's no reason you should feel obligated to share your body, your heart, your bed, your home, your money, or your credit with someone with a personality disorder.