Why Running Game Works

Running game helps you get what you want for as little cost (money, time, effort, freedom, etc.) as possible. It works.

But why does it work?

Running game works because of how women are.

Boys are often told they need to jump though all sorts of hoops, be successful, hard workers, good earners, romantic, generous, sensitive, sweet, strong, chivalrous... on and on and on... to get a woman. But it's just not true.

How do we know it's not true?

One extreme way of knowing it's not true is that there are women who are sexually attracted to men in prison for being serial killers or for raping children.

A far more common way of knowing it's not true is that we all know young, attractive women who are or were with unreliable jerks and deadbeats; many of them allowed those guys to knock them up. Ever hear women talk about their ex husbands, ex boyfriends, baby daddies, and what terrible guys they are? Those are the guys who turned them on so much, they were willing to have intercourse and do all sorts of other sex acts with them.

The proof is in what women do, not in what they say they want.

There's a very small percentage of men that many women will immediately want to have sex with based solely on his body and face. Many of those men are gay. Other than that, it's about how you carry yourself and what she thinks you can do for her.

Answering Marriage Seller Assertions, Talking Points, and Questions - Part 11

 

Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here and Part 3 here and Part 4 here and Part 5 here and Part 6 here and Part 7 here and Part 8 here and Part 9 here and Part 10 here.

Marriage channels male sexuality.

This is an unproven assertion. It depends entirely on the opinions of the person asserting it and how they are defining terms. The words used can mean different things. But there is no definitive, clear way to prove that John Doe is better behaved because he married, or his dis-likeable behavior is because he's unmarried. It's one of those statements that sounds good, and marriage sellers simply rely on people nodding their head in agreement rather than questioning what it even means.

Most marriages in the USA (and maybe another country you're in) involve the expectation of monogamy, or at least the wife's veto over the husband's sexual desires. This is usually what the marriage seller means: beating a man down. Putting him on a leash (and not in the kinky way). Putting aside swinging, threesomes, hotwifing (ask Jerry Falwell Jr. to explain that one to you), polyamory, "plural marriage," and other forms of having the wife officially on board with her husband having other partners, many married men still have mistresses and affair partners, flings/one night stands, or go to prostitutes.

It might help to ask the marriage seller who uses this argument "What do you mean by that?" Maybe they will hallucinate about an imaginary person, or they will tell on themselves.

What exactly are they afraid would happen if even fewer men married? Men who want to have sex with women can't have sex with women unless those women agree or unless it is rape. So are they worried that a man who decides not to marry is going to rape? Or that he's going to get consent from many different women? Or... what exactly? If they're worried about rape, what they're telling you is that a woman should marry a rapist because they think it's more likely he'll only rape her. If they are worried the man is going to conceive children he won't take care of, well, plenty of married men do that. But how about encouraging vasectomies? If they claim "children without fathers" is their concern, ask them if it would be OK if he had a vasectomy, or was only with women incapable of conceiving or they always avoided intercourse.

It's funny that some of the same marriage sellers who make this assertion also say that married men get more sex. So... unmarried men have "unchanneled" sexuality, but aren't having much sex? That would be their claim, anyway.

This assertion might boil down to "I don't like the way you/other unmarried men are carrying on." So what? So what if this other person doesn't like it? I see husbands and wives do a lot of things I don't like.

Again, varying replies might work, depending.

A) Running game also channels male sexuality.

B) Male sexuality can be channeled without a terrible state contract.

C) I channel my sexuality very well without a terrible state contract.

D) Men can be monogamous or otherwise restrained or responsible in their sexuality without a terrible state contract.

E) Marriage starves male sexuality.

As with many other things in life, do not simply accept assertions and claims as true without questioning them. So many of the arguments marriage sellers use are flimsy and depend on you simply accepting a platitude.

One Example of a Free Man

It didn't occur to me until the other day that a friend I've had for decades is an excellent example of a Free Man. [This entry has been bumped up, relevant as ever.]

I need to keep things vague to protect his privacy. If I described his work, you would almost certainly be familiar with at least some of it. He's helped create billions of dollars in value in his career.

I keep seeing assertions that men who adopt the marriage strike will end up lonely, sad, pathetic, etc. But my friend, let's call him Henry, is in his 70s now and he seems very happy. He's certainly admired.

He's never been married. As far as I know, he's never had a woman (or man) living with him since college and hasn't had an exclusive girlfriend since early adulthood. He has no children (or, if he does, they were adopted out and remain a secret). This isn't for a lack of potential suitors. There is no shortage of women (or men!) who'd marry him if they could.

An Example of Married Life

My Wife: "I want X."

Me: "I don't want us to do/get X. Here are several reasons why: A,B,C, D, E."

My Wife: "YOU ALWAYS RAIN ON MY PARADE!!! I really, really want to do/get this."

Me: "I don't want to deal with it."

My Wife: "You won't have to."

[I have to deal with A, B, C, D, E, and F because of X. It costs me money, gives me stress, makes my life/my family's life worse, day in and day out, for years.]

Me: [YELLING] "THIS IS WHAT I TOLD YOU I DIDN'T WANT!!!"

My Wife: "Thank you for yelling." [Proceeds to be in a crappy mood for days or weeks, takes it out on the kids, gets passive-aggressive, acts/gets snarky/snide like a bratty teenager. This distresses our mentally ill kid (or, the one we already know is mentally ill).]

 

Meanwhile, I continue to have to deal with A, B, C, D, E, and F.

Repeat. 

*****


You unmarried guys, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

[This is something I wrote a while back and I’m bumping up. I learned to stop yelling. I also stop arguing almost as soon as I realize there is a disagreement. Now, I just stew silently in quiet desperation, a beaten dog who knows my time, energy, and money will be spent on things I didn’t choose, because I was foolishness enough to choose to marry.]

The Independent Man

This is the time of year Americans celebrate Independence Day.

But so many people are needlessly dependent.

They are dependent on a spouse.

They are dependent on government.

They are dependent on a substance humans don't need to consume to live.

They are dependent on one or two employers.

Some level of interdependence is necessary for most people. If you don't grow all of your own food, housing, and clothing materials, you trade in order to have those things.

And not everyone can be cut out to be their own boss.

But right now, I'd like to acknowledge and celebrate the Free Men who are independent.

They are free to do what they want because they don't have a spouse, "exclusive" relationship, shared financial accounts, or dependent children.

They don't share their residence with anyone, especially not a woman.

They aren't addicted to booze, nicotine, or other recreational substances.

They have maintained enough health that they aren't dependent on caretakers and aren't restricted from normal life activities.

And they're either retired and/or wealthy enough to no longer have to answer to a boss, or they are their own boss.

Your independence is inspiring. More people should be doing what you've done and are doing. Enjoy your life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.

Attention Newlywed Men

Hello, Gentlemen.

June is wedding season. Did you just get married?

Are you already regretting it?

Maybe you think it is the best thing you've ever done. Yeah, that's what you think for now.

Especially if you do not have children with this woman, you need to keep something in mind. How much alimony you'll have to pay her often depends on how long the marriage continues. For example, there are states that say if you were married for six years, you have to pay alimony for three years. Eight years of marriage means four years of alimony. In states like California, ten years of marriage can mean lifetime alimony.

So, the clock is ticking.

Don't let embarrassment, or thinking of it as "failure" or "quitting" if you get out now, or the sunk costs (how much you spent on the wedding, honeymoon, etc.) stop you from getting out sooner rather than later. It would be better to be free, and free sooner, than live a life of quiet misery, get stuck with years and years of alimony, and spend far more money on things she wants as the years ago by.

Things aren't going to get any better than they are now. Likely, they will get worse. People say things got better over time are usually saying that they stopped caring about what they needed, wanted, and their dreams, and developed tolerance to the misery. Guys often forget what freedom was like. Don't let that happen to you!

If you don't have children with her, do not get her pregnant if you're having doubts that marrying her was a good idea.

Much of the advice in this post applies to how to get out. But you definitely need to consult with a family law attorney, since you signed a state legal document (most likely).

Don’t Call Dr. Laura If You’re Doubting Truth Claims of Your Religious Organization

I don’t think Dr. Laura has explicitly stated what her current theological beliefs are other than a few limited statements. She has every right to keep her theology private. Although she'll sometimes work with a caller's tradition, the program isn’t a religious one. But because it isn’t a religious program, she should probably defer some calls. [Bumping this up because it is still relevant.]

From what she has said, she’s either a Deist, Agnostic, or Atheist. It matters, and we can discern this to be so, because she doesn’t believe in miracles and will get snippy with a caller who mentions or implies being saved from a terrible or worse fate by supernatural intervention. Also, because she encourages people to stay with their current religious organization, as if it really doesn’t matter which one they are with. 

I originally felt compelled to write this entry because of a call she took on Tuesday, December 10, 2019, 27 minutes into first podcast hour. But she has subsequently taken other calls reinforcing my point.

“Sarah” or “Sara” was the caller. The caller said hello and started to get emotional, saying she didn't want to get emotional. She was crying.

"I was raised in a very orthodox religion..."

Dr. Laura asked which one. "You were raised in what church?"

"The Mormon church."

Sarah went on to say "Recently, within the last couple of years, I found out a lot of inconsistencies about the church, a lot of things that I was taught that aren't true about the church…”

She started getting emotional again.

Dr. Laura told her she needed to stop crying. "This is not life and death."

Well, actually, for believers, it is. It certainly was for the martyrs.

Answering Marriage Seller Assertions, Talking Points, and Questions - Part 14

 

Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here and Part 3 here and Part 4 here and Part 5 here and Part 6 here and Part 7 here and Part 8 here and Part 9 here and Part 10 here. and Part 11 here and Part 12 here and Part 13 here.


Married people have more children, and we need more people. They are a resource.

The main reason married people have more children is the same reason they are married:

Either they believe they are supposed to be married and having children or they believe they have stability in their relationship.

In the Western world, there is very little, if any, stigma left in unmarried parenting.

Again, depending on your situation, there are different way to answer.

A) I don't want any/more children.

B) I can't have any/more children.

C) Water wells are a resource. How many have you personally dug? Food is a resource. Are you producing on a farm more than you're consuming? Food and water are resources yet you don't tell me I should be providing them. Other people will continue to provide children. I will continue to contribute in ways I prefer.

D) People can have as many children as they want without a terrible state contract.

E) I am not obligated to keep supplying to your government ponzi schemes.

F) Be honest and direct and try to encourage people to have more children, rather than telling them they should marry. You can appeal to the people who are already married to have (more) children, if you have a qualm with unmarried parenting.


Don't you want what is good for society?

This makes the assumption that marrying is good for society. You can try asking them to explain how exactly marrying is good for society. They will probably cite things we've already covered in this series: having (more) children, having cooperative parental involvement in raising the children, unmarried men being violent, and unmarried women being dependent on government. As we've shown, all of those things can be addressed without a terrible state contract.

A) The claims that getting a terrible state contract is good for society is based on perceived correlations or things that can be done without a terrible state contract. Signing a terrible state contract isn't good for society. What's good for society is in how people behave. It won't benefit society if I get a terrible state contract, other than to remove a woman from the teat of government. But I wouldn't take on a woman like that anyway. How about encouraging women to be independent?

B) Explain exactly how me entering into a terrible state contract would benefit society?

There is no evidence whatsoever that signing a terrible state contract is beneficial to society.

Why Sign Away Your Earnings?

To help Free Men with what they say to others, and to help explain why men stay free, I will occasionally post sample dialogue.


Marriage Seller: Why aren't you married?

Free Man: Why would I want to sign a contract that legally shifts over half of my earnings to somebody else?

MS: You're not looking at marriage the right way.

FM: I'm looking at it the way the law treats it.

MS: Marry a woman who has a job?

FM: Why? My income pays for my lifestyle. Why would I want to add someone to my home who earns less than I do, meaning my earnings will still be legally shifted to her, who will increase expenses and take over most of the spending decisions, purchasing things and services I don't want and won't be using? I could be obligated to make ongoing payments to her should she leave me or should I find I can't tolerate her anymore. Also, she can quit her job and it will be like she never had one, as far as community property and alimony goes. What happens if my career path becomes incompatible with hers? If she has a bad day at work I can forget about sex that evening and have someone in a bad mood darkening my residence. No thanks!

Stay free, men!

When Marriage Sellers Say Married Men Live Longer

"Married men live longer."

Wow, that sure looks like strong reason to marry, right?

But... as usual, the realities behind the statistics being used to sell marriage to men can tell a different story.

1) Women are more likely to marry and stay married to healthier and wealthier men. Guess what? Healthier and wealthier men tend to live longer. If a couple is living together but she won't marry him because he's ill, then again, he's counted as "unmarried."

2) Divorced men are usually counted as "unmarried." If a man gets ill and his wife divorces him and he dies, he is counted as "unmarried." The suicide rate for divorced men is high, too. What if, instead, those men had learned to be happy without ever marrying?

3) Men who die young are far less likely to have married. What ages are the statistics counting? If they are counting "men 16 years of age and older," that means any unmarried guy who died at 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30 can skew the statistics in comparison to the fact that most men who live 40 or more years will have married. To put it simply, if you look at 10 guys who died before age 40 and 10 guys who died in their 70s or 80s, chances are, the older guys were married. It doesn't necessarily mean that marrying kept them alive longer or that the men who died younger died younger because they didn't marry.

Do you see how the statistics might not be making a clear indication that marrying causes a man to live longer?

It is possible that having a woman in his life who nags him to go to the doctor can keep a man alive longer. That's a reasonable consideration. But a woman can do that for a man without a terrible state contract. In fact, I urge men I'm not married to and I will never marry to go their doctors. More people should do that, instead of telling a man to sign a terrible state contract because it might appear to be correlated to longevity.

Finally, even if it could be definitively proven that marrying does, in fact, extend a man's life, let's consider what that would mean. It would mean that he trades decades of freedom, peace, quiet, control over his own finances and life, and everything else about life that Free Men enjoy that the average husband doesn't, for mere months or a couple of more years of convalescence, when he might not even remember who he is or be able to feed or wipe himself. Consider that carefully, guys.

Indeed, the stats are likely turning out as they do because an elderly man’s wife was there to call for help when he collapsed. So he lives a few months longer. If you really want to live longer in that condition, guys, technology can now monitor you and summon help, for much less cost than a wife.

Hey, what about women? Oh, what do you know - married women don't live as long as unmarried women. Shouldn't men avoid being selfish by avoiding marriage, since it appears to rob women of life?

To What Should Males Aspire?

I heard Dennis Prager ask to what men would aspire if not marriage and raising a family. He's repeatedly said that guys are not real men if they aren't husbands and fathers. This is something heard from various corners of our culture, along with other assertion of what makes a guy a "real man". [This entry has been bumped up.]

Notice you never hear what makes a real woman. You never hear "What a real woman does, is..."

What is a guy if he isn't a real man? An artificial man? A transgender man? Of course, that's not what people are talking about. They are saying a "real man" as opposed to a man who is somehow lacking, or, as they might say, a "boy". There's nothing wrong with boys, at least not beyond the general thing of humans being fallen creatures. Again, you don't hear this with women. Women will refer to each other and themselves as girls and nothing negative is meant by it.

A real man is any adult human male who isn't fictional. For example, Prince Charming is fictional. Christian Grey is fictional. Jack Sparrow is fictional.

If there was such thing as a "real man" as opposed to an adult male who isn't a real man, that real man wouldn't give a piece of dung what other people say makes a real man. because when someone says, "What a real man does, is...",  what they're saying is "What I like men to do is..." Because real men urinate unless they have kidney problems, real man have weaknesses, and real men mess things up sometimes. But you'll never hear "What a real man does is urinate." But it's true.

Getting back to Prager's question...

Don’t Marry or Let Your Friend Marry This Weekend

 

June, traditionally wedding season, is winding down.

If you, or a man you know, is set to marry, there’s still time to prevent disaster.

There’s a wealth of posts on my marriage strike tag about why legally marrying would almost certainly be a huge mistake and how to avoid entering into that terrible state contract, even if the wedding is rapidly approaching.

For most men, there’s nothing to gain by legally marrying you can’t get otherwise for less cost. But there’s much to lose in entering that contract.

Answering Marriage Seller Assertions, Talking Points, and Questions - Part 12

Read Part 1 here and Part 2 here and Part 3 here and Part 4 here and Part 5 here and Part 6 here and Part 7 here and Part 8 here and Part 9 here and Part 10 here. and Part 11 here.


Single men commit more violent crime.

This can be true without the implication being "More men should sign a terrible state contract."

A) Do you mean to imply that if a violent criminal signs a terrible state contract, he'll become a good citizen? Are you telling women to marry violent criminals?

B) Maybe, just maybe, women are less likely to marry and stay married to violent men?

C) Younger men tend to commit more violent crime AND younger men are less likely to be married.

D) There is no proof that getting a terrible state contract will make a violent person less violent.

E) Do you think I'm going to go around committing violent crimes if I don't sign a terrible state contract?


Unmarried women do damage to society including by dependence on government.

This is one I've heard from Dennis Prager. Most people probably dismiss it immediately. But I'll address it just in case someone tries it with you.

A) I'm not obligated to sign a terrible state contract to modify the behavior of a woman.

B) Maybe that's why they are unmarried; because they are destructive?

C) We can encourage women to be better and independent without sacrificing men to do it.


Even if marrying could be conclusively shown to make men and women better, that wouldn't mean it is an obligation or the only or best way to do it, especially with current state contracts.

Another Joyful Experience With a Wife and Child

Being a married father:

1. Avoid waking your wife so she can sleep in so she can continue her habit of staying up late. (She doesn’t have a job apart from being a wife and mother.) Prepare what she likes to consume when she wakes up so it’ll be ready for her when she wakes up, which could be any time in the next three hours.

2. Give up relaxing on your day off, to take your kid out for fresh air, exercise, and play, because your kid requested it and you believe it’s the right thing to do, and you’ve already paid for the activity.

3. Find yourself in the doghouse* after your wife wakes up and realizes what you’ve done, because you were supposed to know automatically that your kid would be grounded due to acting out in the middle of the day yesterday on the mental conditions said child inherited from your wife.

4. Have wife seclude herself when the two of you return home, probably for the rest of the calendar day, if not longer.

5. Have wife decree specific punishment for the child without consulting you or so much as informing you before issuing the decree.

6. Struggle to prevent your child from self-harming after the degree is issued, as the child recounts being a toddler and witnessing mom having a psychotic break, which itself was a traumatic experience for you back when it happened, and you were an adult.

And that’s just within a span of half a day.

*What does being in the doghouse mean? Hostility. Chances are, we weren’t going to be having sex anytime soon anyway. And there’s not much else she does for me. She’ll be less attentive to the needs of the kids. That will mean more for me to do. Should she be punished for being hostile to the kids? It’s a pointless question because she’s an adult and legally has all the power. But the kids recognize they get punished for doing some of the same things their parent does.

Guys, avoid this. Stay free.