People occasionally find this blog because they want to know why talk show host, public speaker, author, and columnist Dennis Prager has been divorced twice.
I don't know why, other than the fact that he married.
You can't be divorced if you never marry.
These days, it sounds like he's happy in his third marriage, which, if it holds, will beat the odds.
You can read his columns mentioning marriage, view Prager University videos about marriage and female-male interactions, and listen to his weekly "male/female" hour to get some clues, but I've done those things and I really don't know why he's twice divorced. Maybe he wanted more sex. Maybe he was too kinky. Maybe his exes couldn't abide his honesty that husbands still enjoy looking at other women. Don't know.
If I recall correctly, he sees marriage as a contract (as does the law, by the way, but Prager thinks it has some different terms than the law), and if one spouse refuses to live up to the contract, divorce is not only acceptable, but often the right thing to do.
I don't know if he filed or his two ex-wives filed.
Maybe he doesn't think it is fair to talk about why his marriages ended, given that his ex-wives don't have the media soapboxes he does. Maybe he's ashamed or embarrassed. Or maybe he thinks he's entitled to a private life, which he is.
Still, I am curious and so are others. My curiosity is based on his consistent insistence that a guy must marry to be a man and his marriage-selling. It sure would be interesting to know why his two divorces happened and what the terms were.
As a bit of an aside, he maintains that divorce isn't really bad for the children, it is about how the spouses-then-ex-spouses behave that an be bad. But by the same logic, marriage doesn't make a man mature or better. It is how he behaves. So men can display all of the character traits he values without signing a bad state contract.
Tuesday, April 21, 2020
Monday, April 13, 2020
An Unique Escape Hatch For Engaged Men
Sir, are you engaged to be married?
The National Emergency and global pandemic we're dealing with right now gives you an unique escape hatch to avoid marriage, especially if your wedding is scheduled and rapidly approaching.
Service providers are shutting down. Venues are closing down. People aren't traveling.
How can you have or even plan a wedding in these circumstances?
Tell your fiancée that the wedding needs to be delayed. Most likely, she will agree, because she wants the big party, and the series of associated parties, and those just can't happen with things like this.
Now, there's a chance she'll say she wants to go to the courthouse or the county office and have a small legal ceremony, and she will probably include that the big formal wedding, or at least reception, can be later.
Try to convince her that it would be best to wait and keep the legal wedding as the same thing as the big ceremony.
Then, while the wedding is "delayed," you can plan your escape. No, you can't keep the relationship. She's going to want to get married.
Desperate situations call for desperate measures.
The National Emergency and global pandemic we're dealing with right now gives you an unique escape hatch to avoid marriage, especially if your wedding is scheduled and rapidly approaching.
Service providers are shutting down. Venues are closing down. People aren't traveling.
How can you have or even plan a wedding in these circumstances?
Tell your fiancée that the wedding needs to be delayed. Most likely, she will agree, because she wants the big party, and the series of associated parties, and those just can't happen with things like this.
Now, there's a chance she'll say she wants to go to the courthouse or the county office and have a small legal ceremony, and she will probably include that the big formal wedding, or at least reception, can be later.
Try to convince her that it would be best to wait and keep the legal wedding as the same thing as the big ceremony.
Then, while the wedding is "delayed," you can plan your escape. No, you can't keep the relationship. She's going to want to get married.
Desperate situations call for desperate measures.
Thursday, April 02, 2020
Congrats to the Guys Who Avoided the Prom and Promposals
If you were enjoying your time in high school, you might be bummed that it was abruptly ended for you, especially if you were a Senior.
But guys, at least you have avoided The Prom and, hopefully, an embarrassing Promposal.
You're better off.
But guys, at least you have avoided The Prom and, hopefully, an embarrassing Promposal.
You're better off.
Wednesday, April 01, 2020
Shut In
Today, Dennis Prager wondered on his radio program if the shutdown, and having to stay home, is causing unmarried guys to think they should've married.
I'm confident far more husbands are regretting that they married than there are unmarried guys wishing they were married.
I would be much better off right now if I was living alone.
Meanwhile, on yesterday's Dr. Laura show, there was a woman complaining that with the shutdown, her husband wanted too much sex.
Stay free, guys.
I'm confident far more husbands are regretting that they married than there are unmarried guys wishing they were married.
I would be much better off right now if I was living alone.
Meanwhile, on yesterday's Dr. Laura show, there was a woman complaining that with the shutdown, her husband wanted too much sex.
Stay free, guys.
Tuesday, February 18, 2020
Valentine's Day Aftermath
Are you an unmarried guy who just spent a lot of money and effort on Valentine's Day, only to get what you used to get all of the time? Or did you get less than that?
Did you even propose marriage and give her a ring?
If you're not married, and you just made a big deal about Valentine's Day, and especially if you proposed marriage, you need to step back and think about what you've done and you are doing. Are you regretful? Are you doubting? Are you asking yourself "Why did I do that?" If not, you probably should be.
Most men shouldn't be in exclusive relationships, and certainly not marriage!
Most unmarried men, if they play their cards right, can get everything they want without spending a lot of money and energy on Valentine's Day, birthdays, holidays, or anniversaries.
If there is a woman who is planning to marry you this June, or any other time this year, you probably need to put the breaks on the relationship, especially if there are any red flags. If you're shacking up and/or if she has kids, plan your escape!
You don't need to be married. And there's a good chance that, deep down, you don't really want to be.
So, get out. And learn to be scarce so that you won't get trapped into wasting money, effort, and time on things like Valentine's Day or meeting a woman's family or friends for holidays.
Did you even propose marriage and give her a ring?
If you're not married, and you just made a big deal about Valentine's Day, and especially if you proposed marriage, you need to step back and think about what you've done and you are doing. Are you regretful? Are you doubting? Are you asking yourself "Why did I do that?" If not, you probably should be.
Most men shouldn't be in exclusive relationships, and certainly not marriage!
Most unmarried men, if they play their cards right, can get everything they want without spending a lot of money and energy on Valentine's Day, birthdays, holidays, or anniversaries.
If there is a woman who is planning to marry you this June, or any other time this year, you probably need to put the breaks on the relationship, especially if there are any red flags. If you're shacking up and/or if she has kids, plan your escape!
You don't need to be married. And there's a good chance that, deep down, you don't really want to be.
So, get out. And learn to be scarce so that you won't get trapped into wasting money, effort, and time on things like Valentine's Day or meeting a woman's family or friends for holidays.
Tuesday, February 11, 2020
Pay Attention, Free Men
All of you "single" men, you guys who aren't married, aren't engaged, aren't shacking up, and aren't in an "exclusive" relationship...
Are you paying attention this week (the one with Valentine's Day)? Are you hearing/seeing all of the ads telling men they need to buy the right things for Valentine's Day? Are you watching your buddies, male relatives, male coworkers who aren't free men stress out? Are they distracted?
They know that if they don't jump through all of the hoops the right way, there's going to be Hell to pay.
Some of them might be hoping (probably a futile hope) the woman to which they're attached will do things with and for them that those women used to do all of the time, without even being asked. Or, the guys are simply hoping not to be disparaged, not to be served with divorce papers in late February.
Do you want to put yourself through that? Of course you don't. Especially because it isn't worth it. It is NOT worth it. But these guys feel like they HAVE to do these things. Don't ever make yourself one them.
These poor beaten dogs are going to crawl, grovel, shell out way too much money for goods and services they can get for much less money mere days later.
Pay attention, you free men. And let it be a reminder of why you don't want to be in that position.
Enjoy February 14. Stay home, or hang out at a buddy's place. If you MUST have female interaction, there will be women out there, and they will be easy pickings. You can find them at night, when it is "too late" to take them to an expensive dinner.
Are you paying attention this week (the one with Valentine's Day)? Are you hearing/seeing all of the ads telling men they need to buy the right things for Valentine's Day? Are you watching your buddies, male relatives, male coworkers who aren't free men stress out? Are they distracted?
They know that if they don't jump through all of the hoops the right way, there's going to be Hell to pay.
Some of them might be hoping (probably a futile hope) the woman to which they're attached will do things with and for them that those women used to do all of the time, without even being asked. Or, the guys are simply hoping not to be disparaged, not to be served with divorce papers in late February.
Do you want to put yourself through that? Of course you don't. Especially because it isn't worth it. It is NOT worth it. But these guys feel like they HAVE to do these things. Don't ever make yourself one them.
These poor beaten dogs are going to crawl, grovel, shell out way too much money for goods and services they can get for much less money mere days later.
Pay attention, you free men. And let it be a reminder of why you don't want to be in that position.
Enjoy February 14. Stay home, or hang out at a buddy's place. If you MUST have female interaction, there will be women out there, and they will be easy pickings. You can find them at night, when it is "too late" to take them to an expensive dinner.
Wednesday, February 05, 2020
February 14 Will Be Here Soon!
Guys, if you're not married, you shouldn't be with a woman right now you've been seeing for more than a couple of months.
You're supposed to be scarce to such a woman until at least February 15 (or, until her the day after her birthday, or a day she considers an anniversary with you, if one or both occur soon after).
If you have a girlfriend right now, how were the holidays? How much time, money, and effort did you spend? Did you have to endure her family? Or bring her around your family? What a mess.
If you've been a free man through the holidays, keep up the good work. But if you've got a woman who thinks of you as her boyfriend or fiancé, you need to hit the eject button or get very scarce to her before we get too close to Valentine's Day.
You're supposed to be scarce to such a woman until at least February 15 (or, until her the day after her birthday, or a day she considers an anniversary with you, if one or both occur soon after).
If you have a girlfriend right now, how were the holidays? How much time, money, and effort did you spend? Did you have to endure her family? Or bring her around your family? What a mess.
If you've been a free man through the holidays, keep up the good work. But if you've got a woman who thinks of you as her boyfriend or fiancé, you need to hit the eject button or get very scarce to her before we get too close to Valentine's Day.
Why?
1) So she doesn't get the idea that this is heading for a marital or live-in or even an exclusive situation; and
2) To avoid spending money on gifts for her, an overpriced and crowded dinner, hotel rooms, or anything else she might expect.
Be scarce. Be busy, Be "working". Don't answer her calls, texts, etc. or only respond "late" to every third or fourth one, saying you're busy. (She shouldn't know where you really live, or what you're actual phone's number is - use Google Voice or something similar.)
If she won't see you again come February 15 (or whichever day it ends up being), so be it. There are many other women, if you still want to see any.
During that time, it's fine to see women who aren't of the "commitment" or "exclusive" thinking, at least when it comes to you. or new women, and you can see a new woman who is alone and desperate on February 14, as long as you're picking her up out and about, on the fly.
Or, use that time to hang out with friends, family, catch up on hobbies, do those chores you've been putting off, etc.
You DO NOT want to be with a woman who is thinking that because you've been seeing her for a while, and you're with her on February 14, that you're going to be exclusive with her, or living with her, or heading towards marriage. You DO NOT want to have to buy her gifts, or pay her way to some party or event or overpriced dinner or hotel room. Whatever you do, do NOT get married!!! (Some people have a simple ceremony on February 14, like at a county office.)
Read more:
Thursday, December 26, 2019
How Have the Holidays Been So Far?
The end of the year is rapidly approaching. How have the holidays been for you so far?
If you're in a relationship (unmarried), how has that been going? Has it been stressful? How has it been, dealing with her, her family, her friends, etc.? How has she interacted with your family and friends? Remember, she's auditioning. This is the best it will ever be. If you marry her, she will likely think she doesn't have to try anymore. She doesn't have to pretend to like your family or friends. She doesn't have to hold back from whining, nagging, complaining, cajoling.
If you haven't hit the eject button yet, do it before the year closes out. You don't want to be with her at the stroke of midnight as 2019 becomes 2020.
Read this and follow the links.
I know.
I didn't see any of my original family or friends for Christmas. I spend the whole date with my wife's family.
Thinks were, comparatively, much better than some other Christmases I've spent with her family, but it was still mostly a day sitting around wishing I was with my parents and siblings or home, being tired and having to drive in bad conditions but having to wait for when she had had enough, meaning driving conditions were much worse than when I would have left. And again, this was comparatively good. There have been some awful Christmases with her family.
If you're in a relationship (unmarried), how has that been going? Has it been stressful? How has it been, dealing with her, her family, her friends, etc.? How has she interacted with your family and friends? Remember, she's auditioning. This is the best it will ever be. If you marry her, she will likely think she doesn't have to try anymore. She doesn't have to pretend to like your family or friends. She doesn't have to hold back from whining, nagging, complaining, cajoling.
If you haven't hit the eject button yet, do it before the year closes out. You don't want to be with her at the stroke of midnight as 2019 becomes 2020.
Read this and follow the links.
I know.
I didn't see any of my original family or friends for Christmas. I spend the whole date with my wife's family.
Thinks were, comparatively, much better than some other Christmases I've spent with her family, but it was still mostly a day sitting around wishing I was with my parents and siblings or home, being tired and having to drive in bad conditions but having to wait for when she had had enough, meaning driving conditions were much worse than when I would have left. And again, this was comparatively good. There have been some awful Christmases with her family.
Monday, December 23, 2019
Stop! Don't Propose!
Guys, if you're thinking about proposing as a holiday surprise or just because you think it is a romantic time of year to propose, DON'T DO IT.
Odds are, proposing is a mistake. This is a statistical fact.
Consider:
1) 33-40% of first marriages end in divorce. It is well over 50% for second marriages (70% if stepchildren are involved).
2) Enough of the other marriages are problematic enough of the time that literally, between divorce and "bad" marriages (including marriages that effectively end but don't legally divorce, or in which one spouse dies or is killed by the other before divorce could take place) most marriages are a mistake.
3) On top of that, add in the engagements that don't make it to marriage that end with drama and/or bitterness.
So, statistically, proposing is a mistake, a very big mistake.
Odds are, proposing is a mistake. This is a statistical fact.
Consider:
1) 33-40% of first marriages end in divorce. It is well over 50% for second marriages (70% if stepchildren are involved).
2) Enough of the other marriages are problematic enough of the time that literally, between divorce and "bad" marriages (including marriages that effectively end but don't legally divorce, or in which one spouse dies or is killed by the other before divorce could take place) most marriages are a mistake.
3) On top of that, add in the engagements that don't make it to marriage that end with drama and/or bitterness.
So, statistically, proposing is a mistake, a very big mistake.
Thursday, December 19, 2019
December Is Here and That Requires Evasive Maneuvers
Guys, December is here, and that means holidays, like Christmas, Hannukah, and the New Year. Those can be threats to free men. If you're an American who celebrates Thanksgiving in November, you should have already taken steps to ensure your freedom won't be jeopardized, but if you haven't, you really needs to act sooner rather than later.
Now is the time, guys. It is time to become extremely scarce to any woman who considers you her fiancé or expects your relationship to head that way. If you're seeing a woman regularly, it is time to disrupt that. Don't end up spending a lot of money! Don't give her (or her family!) the impression that you're eager to marry. That it what she/they will think if you join her at events with her friends and family. You shouldn't even know any of her friends or family. You should only be seeing her when the Sun isn't visible, preferrably at her place.
In taking evasive maneuvers, you're going to avoid seeing her until at least February 15. She might not agree to see you when that time comes. That's a small price to pay compared to having to spend the time and money that it would take if you were with her in-person through the holidays.
Now is the time, guys. It is time to become extremely scarce to any woman who considers you her fiancé or expects your relationship to head that way. If you're seeing a woman regularly, it is time to disrupt that. Don't end up spending a lot of money! Don't give her (or her family!) the impression that you're eager to marry. That it what she/they will think if you join her at events with her friends and family. You shouldn't even know any of her friends or family. You should only be seeing her when the Sun isn't visible, preferrably at her place.
In taking evasive maneuvers, you're going to avoid seeing her until at least February 15. She might not agree to see you when that time comes. That's a small price to pay compared to having to spend the time and money that it would take if you were with her in-person through the holidays.
Tuesday, November 26, 2019
Guys, It's Time to Go Ghost or Hit the Eject Button
Now is the time, guys, especially in the USA, where Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching. It is time to become extremely scarce to any woman who considers you her fiancé or expects your relationship to head that way. If you're seeing a woman regularly, it is time to disrupt that. Don't end up spending a lot of money!
[Bumped up! Procrastinators, ACT NOW!!!]
[Bumped up! Procrastinators, ACT NOW!!!]
Tuesday, November 05, 2019
It's Not Too Early to Think About the Holidays
Guys in the USA (and some of this might apply to some of you men in other countries), Thanksgiving will be here before you know it. It's Thursday (of course), November 28. Unless you're so ignorant, delusional, or masochistic that you're thinking you want to be exclusive with a woman you've been seeing, perhaps you should set up a tickler on your phone for mid-November as a reminder that you're going to need to avoid any woman you've been seeing regularly. This is especially needed if you've made the mistake of letting her think of you as a potential husband, or a boyfriend, or committed - or you've met her family or friends.
You do NOT want to be with a woman you've been seeing regularly on Thanksgiving, on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, on New Year's Eve, on February 14, or on her birthday if it falls during that time or soon after. Same goes for any day during that time she considers an "anniversary" with you.
You need to avoid such a woman for that whole time: from at least November 28 through February 14.
Why?
1) So she doesn't get the idea that this is heading for a marital or live-in or even an exclusive situation; and
2) To avoid spending money on gifts for her, airfare, hotel rooms, parties, etc.
Be scarce. Be busy, Be "working". Don't answer her calls, texts, etc. or only respond "late" to every third or fourth one, saying you're busy. (She shouldn't know where you really live, or what you're actual phone's number is - use Google Voice or something similar.)
If she won't see you again come February 15, so be it. There are many other women, if you still want to see any.
During that time, as long as it isn't Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Eve/Day, or New Year's Eve, it's fine to see women who aren't of the "commitment" or "exclusive" thinking, at least when it comes to you. or new women, and you can see a new woman who is alone and desperate on February 14, as long as you're picking her up out and about, on the fly.
Or, use that time to hang out with friends, family, catch up on hobbies, do those chores you've been putting off, etc.
You DO NOT want to be with a woman who is thinking that because you've been seeing her for a while, and you're with her on those holidays and special days, that you're going to be exclusive with her, or living with her, or heading towards marriage. You DO NOT want to have to meet her friends and family. You DO NOT want to have to buy her gifts, or pay her way to some party or event or overpriced dinner or hotel room.
Read more:
We're Almost to February 14
Dealing With the Holidays
Stop! Don't Propose! Don't Marry!
Now is the Time, Guys
You do NOT want to be with a woman you've been seeing regularly on Thanksgiving, on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, on New Year's Eve, on February 14, or on her birthday if it falls during that time or soon after. Same goes for any day during that time she considers an "anniversary" with you.
You need to avoid such a woman for that whole time: from at least November 28 through February 14.
Why?
1) So she doesn't get the idea that this is heading for a marital or live-in or even an exclusive situation; and
2) To avoid spending money on gifts for her, airfare, hotel rooms, parties, etc.
Be scarce. Be busy, Be "working". Don't answer her calls, texts, etc. or only respond "late" to every third or fourth one, saying you're busy. (She shouldn't know where you really live, or what you're actual phone's number is - use Google Voice or something similar.)
If she won't see you again come February 15, so be it. There are many other women, if you still want to see any.
During that time, as long as it isn't Thanksgiving Day, Christmas Eve/Day, or New Year's Eve, it's fine to see women who aren't of the "commitment" or "exclusive" thinking, at least when it comes to you. or new women, and you can see a new woman who is alone and desperate on February 14, as long as you're picking her up out and about, on the fly.
Or, use that time to hang out with friends, family, catch up on hobbies, do those chores you've been putting off, etc.
You DO NOT want to be with a woman who is thinking that because you've been seeing her for a while, and you're with her on those holidays and special days, that you're going to be exclusive with her, or living with her, or heading towards marriage. You DO NOT want to have to meet her friends and family. You DO NOT want to have to buy her gifts, or pay her way to some party or event or overpriced dinner or hotel room.
Read more:
We're Almost to February 14
Dealing With the Holidays
Stop! Don't Propose! Don't Marry!
Now is the Time, Guys
Sunday, November 03, 2019
Who Am I? Why Am I Here?
Hey you. Yes, you. You might be wondering who I am and why this blog is here.
I'm a married middle-aged father living in the USA. I have steady career work and a four-year college degree. I'm the breadwinner for my family. I'm married to my first (and only) wife and I'm her first husband. Neither of us have children other than the ones we made together, after we married, and are raising. Neither of us shacked up with anyone before we married each other, nor did we live together before we married. We've been married well over the threshold of time that my state would order me to support her for life should we divorce.
I have opinions and experiences I want to share and questions I want to ask. These days, my main goal with this blog is to serve as a warning to other men that most of them should not sacrifice themselves for what our laws and culture now call marriage and fatherhood. For most men, it won't be worth it, even if your brain chemistry and your psychology try to cover up for making terrible decisions by trying to fool you into thinking that you really didn't do so badly by marrying and making children. Most men should be on a marriage strike.
Statistically, due the factors I mentioned in that second paragraph and other factors, my marriage is supposed to be a happy one. That's what "they" say anyway. And my wife probably would tell a pollster it IS a happy marriage, and if I was being polled in front of her, I'd have to agree. But the reality is, it isn't a happy marriage. Poke around the blog and you'll see why.
So, that's the brief overview.
I welcome comments on almost all the blog entries, whether you agree or disagree with me, but if yours looks like s-p-a-m or something from a b-o-t, it won't get published. Also, please watch your language as I try to avoid publishing profanity. You can also interact with me on Twitter.
I'm a married middle-aged father living in the USA. I have steady career work and a four-year college degree. I'm the breadwinner for my family. I'm married to my first (and only) wife and I'm her first husband. Neither of us have children other than the ones we made together, after we married, and are raising. Neither of us shacked up with anyone before we married each other, nor did we live together before we married. We've been married well over the threshold of time that my state would order me to support her for life should we divorce.
I have opinions and experiences I want to share and questions I want to ask. These days, my main goal with this blog is to serve as a warning to other men that most of them should not sacrifice themselves for what our laws and culture now call marriage and fatherhood. For most men, it won't be worth it, even if your brain chemistry and your psychology try to cover up for making terrible decisions by trying to fool you into thinking that you really didn't do so badly by marrying and making children. Most men should be on a marriage strike.
Statistically, due the factors I mentioned in that second paragraph and other factors, my marriage is supposed to be a happy one. That's what "they" say anyway. And my wife probably would tell a pollster it IS a happy marriage, and if I was being polled in front of her, I'd have to agree. But the reality is, it isn't a happy marriage. Poke around the blog and you'll see why.
So, that's the brief overview.
I welcome comments on almost all the blog entries, whether you agree or disagree with me, but if yours looks like s-p-a-m or something from a b-o-t, it won't get published. Also, please watch your language as I try to avoid publishing profanity. You can also interact with me on Twitter.
Tuesday, October 29, 2019
Things Not to Say When On the Dr. Laura Show
I was already working on an very considered entry here about how to get through a call with Dr. Laura. She mentioned on the show Monday, October 28, 2019 that "someone" (might have had me in mind... no, seriously) should come up with a list of things not to say while a caller on her show.
So, here they are, in no particular order.
Things Not to Say When On the Dr. Laura Schlessinger Show
So, here they are, in no particular order.
Things Not to Say When On the Dr. Laura Schlessinger Show
Tuesday, October 08, 2019
Women Get Something Out of Shacking Up, Fornication
This is something I wrote several years ago. It is as relevant as ever.
Friday, September 13, 2019
There Are None Good
Late in her show on Thursday, September 12, 2019, Dr. Laura took a call from a wife who said her husband's nephew was "verbally abusive" to her, which Dr. Laura had her change to nasty or mean or whatever, dropping the "abuse" word. The nephew had indicated his marriage was based on his wife's family's wealth, the caller had spoken up against that, and the nephew responded, with rude words, to tell her he didn't care what she thought.
Because of this, the caller's husband agreed to cut short their visit and leave the next day.
Apparently that wasn't enough for Dr. Laura. The husband was supposed to do... something... to the nephew. She didn't say what, which is very telling. Probably a statement of some sort, even though Dr. Laura also tells callers not to waste their breath with pointless confrontations, and "you have no power" and all of that. I guess maybe the point would be to show his wife that he cares? But that hasn't been enough of a point in so many other situations.
Anyway, the caller said her husband is a great husband, and Dr. Laura insisted he wasn't! He's not a great husband because he didn't tell the nephew off?!? Or do whatever unexplained thing he was supposed to do? He could be a great husband in a million ways, but because of this, he's not a good husband?
As she explained, a husband's top priority is to protect his wife. OK, the nephew was rude to her. It's not like he stole from her, physically threatened her, or even questioned her honor.
So, the caller's husband isn't a great husband.
But if that's the standard, there are none that are good. No husbands, no friends, no parents, because everybody is imperfect. This has been a recurring thing on the show lately. Dr. Laura's opinion of a friend suffered because that friend put her in touch with a possible date Dr. Laura decided was dishonorable. She also recently sounded like she had lowered her opinion of someone else she knows because (and Dr. Laura was intentionally very vague about it) that person suggested Dr. Laura interact with someone in the media she apparently loathes. My guess is that it was a suggestion for helping to promote her upcoming book.
Callers need to take note. Be very careful what you say, or you might get sidetracked by a declaration that someone in your life is terrible and you're in serious error for calling them a friend, or staying in touch with your mother, or having married your husband. Please don't misunderstand what I'm saying. Dr. Laura is absolutely right most of the time when the caller's focus is to describe an individual's ongoing or repeated actions in great detail. But in situations in which only one relatively minor issue can be described, no strangers should make a judgment that the person's overall performance as a parent or friend or spouse or coworker or boss or employee should be declared bad.
Dr. Laura typically does 15 hours of radio per week. In an average week, she hits the nail on the head 98 percent of the time. That's why the times I think she falls short stick out to me so much.
Because of this, the caller's husband agreed to cut short their visit and leave the next day.
Apparently that wasn't enough for Dr. Laura. The husband was supposed to do... something... to the nephew. She didn't say what, which is very telling. Probably a statement of some sort, even though Dr. Laura also tells callers not to waste their breath with pointless confrontations, and "you have no power" and all of that. I guess maybe the point would be to show his wife that he cares? But that hasn't been enough of a point in so many other situations.
Anyway, the caller said her husband is a great husband, and Dr. Laura insisted he wasn't! He's not a great husband because he didn't tell the nephew off?!? Or do whatever unexplained thing he was supposed to do? He could be a great husband in a million ways, but because of this, he's not a good husband?
As she explained, a husband's top priority is to protect his wife. OK, the nephew was rude to her. It's not like he stole from her, physically threatened her, or even questioned her honor.
So, the caller's husband isn't a great husband.
But if that's the standard, there are none that are good. No husbands, no friends, no parents, because everybody is imperfect. This has been a recurring thing on the show lately. Dr. Laura's opinion of a friend suffered because that friend put her in touch with a possible date Dr. Laura decided was dishonorable. She also recently sounded like she had lowered her opinion of someone else she knows because (and Dr. Laura was intentionally very vague about it) that person suggested Dr. Laura interact with someone in the media she apparently loathes. My guess is that it was a suggestion for helping to promote her upcoming book.
Callers need to take note. Be very careful what you say, or you might get sidetracked by a declaration that someone in your life is terrible and you're in serious error for calling them a friend, or staying in touch with your mother, or having married your husband. Please don't misunderstand what I'm saying. Dr. Laura is absolutely right most of the time when the caller's focus is to describe an individual's ongoing or repeated actions in great detail. But in situations in which only one relatively minor issue can be described, no strangers should make a judgment that the person's overall performance as a parent or friend or spouse or coworker or boss or employee should be declared bad.
Dr. Laura typically does 15 hours of radio per week. In an average week, she hits the nail on the head 98 percent of the time. That's why the times I think she falls short stick out to me so much.
Wednesday, August 28, 2019
Attention Radio Hosts Whose Shows Are Sold as Podcasts
If you're not going to post an hour of your show, for whatever reason, that you did live, please post a note to that effect. I suppose it is too much ask for a reason, too? Some of us actually WANT TO LISTEN to your show, and yeah, some of us are a bit compulsive about.
The talk radio hosts I listen to the most all have podcast versions of their shows that can be subscribed to for month or a year at a time, at a cost. The "in-show" live ads they read are included, but the "breaks" aren't, which is convenient. Each hour of the show is posted separately, as a separate file to play or download.
When Dr. Laura is out and the show is a "Best of" (a re-run), the brief description of the podcast hours will usually include that it is a "Best of". Sometimes, the same hour will be mistakenly posted as two different hours, and that will usually be corrected the next day the show is live. So, if that happens on a Friday, on Monday the staff will correct it.
I have paid subscriptions currently to Dr. Laura, Dennis Prager, and Michael Medved. Prager's podcast descriptions will also note when the show is a re-run or when a guest host is filling in. My gripe is about Medved's podcast. It seems that every week or two, there'll be an hour that is simply not posted at all. There will be a listing for Hour 1 and Hour 2 on Thursday, no mention of Hour 3, and then Hours 1, 2, and 3 for Friday. That sort of thing. There won't be a mention of the missing Hour 3. Or, as happened recently, there'll be an hour listed and described, but the file is actually something that's just four minutes long, instead of the usual 36 or 37 minutes.
Tweeting at the official account doesn't help.
I'd love to recommend Medved's podcast, but if we're not even going to get an explanation, let alone the actual content for which we paid, I'm reluctant.
Yeah, it's a First World problem. I could go back to listening to the shows live. It's far more convenient for me to listen to them once they're packaged as podcasts.
The talk radio hosts I listen to the most all have podcast versions of their shows that can be subscribed to for month or a year at a time, at a cost. The "in-show" live ads they read are included, but the "breaks" aren't, which is convenient. Each hour of the show is posted separately, as a separate file to play or download.
When Dr. Laura is out and the show is a "Best of" (a re-run), the brief description of the podcast hours will usually include that it is a "Best of". Sometimes, the same hour will be mistakenly posted as two different hours, and that will usually be corrected the next day the show is live. So, if that happens on a Friday, on Monday the staff will correct it.
I have paid subscriptions currently to Dr. Laura, Dennis Prager, and Michael Medved. Prager's podcast descriptions will also note when the show is a re-run or when a guest host is filling in. My gripe is about Medved's podcast. It seems that every week or two, there'll be an hour that is simply not posted at all. There will be a listing for Hour 1 and Hour 2 on Thursday, no mention of Hour 3, and then Hours 1, 2, and 3 for Friday. That sort of thing. There won't be a mention of the missing Hour 3. Or, as happened recently, there'll be an hour listed and described, but the file is actually something that's just four minutes long, instead of the usual 36 or 37 minutes.
Tweeting at the official account doesn't help.
I'd love to recommend Medved's podcast, but if we're not even going to get an explanation, let alone the actual content for which we paid, I'm reluctant.
Yeah, it's a First World problem. I could go back to listening to the shows live. It's far more convenient for me to listen to them once they're packaged as podcasts.
Monday, August 26, 2019
Do the Dreams of Men Matter?
Dr. Laura has repeatedly told male callers to her show (either directly or through their wife calling) that it doesn't matter if they hate their job, they need to (financially) provide for their family and not be concerned with following some dream.
During yesterday's show (August 21, 2017) [yes, this entry has been bumped up] during the third hour, she got a call from a woman who has been a SAHM, formerly a dental assistant, who was going back to work due to her kids aging out, but as a preschool (= daycare, which Dr. Laura usually rails against) teacher. The woman prefers doing the preschool work, but the dental assistant work, which she could get, pays far more, and her husband wanted her to take that work instead of the preschool work, to facilitate saving for retirement.
Now, Dr. Laura has declared she'll never retire and she says she can't understand people who retire "early" (despite telling men to do jobs they hate), so that might have played into her answer. Most people do want to retire, though.
Dr. Laura specifically told this woman to follow her dream and do the preschool work, and to tell her husband she's going to budget to save money. She tells wives these things (like when she tells a wife to tell her husband she'll feel sexier if she can quit her job), but I wonder how many actually follow through and budget, and are more frequent/enthusiastic lovers? My guess is many don't. There may not be all that much they can do to save more money, or maybe the husband doesn't want to cut back on their current lifestyle? In this case, the kids were off the college so that was probably going to be a big financial strain.
Dr. Laura further said that she doesn't know what has happened to today's males, who are, in her estimation, telling women to "go be a slave, forget about your dreams and earn income". This is very revealing. Are husbands slaves? Anyone clued in to MGTOW would say yes. I'm right there with Dr. Laura when the kids are young and there needs to be a parent with them. One parent (usually the husband) needs to earn income and the other (usually the wife) needs to be primarily concerned with caretaking of the children. But that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about empty-nesters.
What has happened to today's males? Here's what has happened: It costs more to live longer. Husbands know career disruption is a big thing now and they can't count on having their job until retirement. Also, there are an awful lot of wives out there who decided to leave their marriages, and if they are earning nothing or significantly less than their husbands (as most wives do), they are getting alimony payments, and depending on the state, for the rest of their lives!
The caller's husband is trying to secure their joint future. If they're going to need care, that's going to cost. If they're going to want to travel, that's not cheap. If they're going to be paying for their kids' education and weddings, that can easily total hundreds of thousands of dollars.
So... do the dreams of men matter?
We're not talking about the needs of children. That's out of the picture at this point. Now it becomes a question of whose dreams matter more. His dreams appear to be centered on the two of them together. Her dreams are about what she's doing with her day.
If is important to note that Dr. Laura frequently refers to a man marrying as a man "laying down his life".
Men: Want to pursue your dreams? Want to live your life instead of laying it down? DON'T MARRY. When you marry, it becomes all about her. And if you have children it is all about them. So don't do those things. Now, Dr. Laura and others might accuse you of being selfish or immature or "afraid of commitment" or some other negative label. So what? You can console yourself with all of your freedom and financial security and enjoying your dreams and NOT dealing with nagging and hostility from the person who is sharing your home. That way, the woman you would have married can work whatever job she wants to. She won't have to deal with your request she be a "slave" like you have been.
During yesterday's show (August 21, 2017) [yes, this entry has been bumped up] during the third hour, she got a call from a woman who has been a SAHM, formerly a dental assistant, who was going back to work due to her kids aging out, but as a preschool (= daycare, which Dr. Laura usually rails against) teacher. The woman prefers doing the preschool work, but the dental assistant work, which she could get, pays far more, and her husband wanted her to take that work instead of the preschool work, to facilitate saving for retirement.
Now, Dr. Laura has declared she'll never retire and she says she can't understand people who retire "early" (despite telling men to do jobs they hate), so that might have played into her answer. Most people do want to retire, though.
Dr. Laura specifically told this woman to follow her dream and do the preschool work, and to tell her husband she's going to budget to save money. She tells wives these things (like when she tells a wife to tell her husband she'll feel sexier if she can quit her job), but I wonder how many actually follow through and budget, and are more frequent/enthusiastic lovers? My guess is many don't. There may not be all that much they can do to save more money, or maybe the husband doesn't want to cut back on their current lifestyle? In this case, the kids were off the college so that was probably going to be a big financial strain.
Dr. Laura further said that she doesn't know what has happened to today's males, who are, in her estimation, telling women to "go be a slave, forget about your dreams and earn income". This is very revealing. Are husbands slaves? Anyone clued in to MGTOW would say yes. I'm right there with Dr. Laura when the kids are young and there needs to be a parent with them. One parent (usually the husband) needs to earn income and the other (usually the wife) needs to be primarily concerned with caretaking of the children. But that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about empty-nesters.
What has happened to today's males? Here's what has happened: It costs more to live longer. Husbands know career disruption is a big thing now and they can't count on having their job until retirement. Also, there are an awful lot of wives out there who decided to leave their marriages, and if they are earning nothing or significantly less than their husbands (as most wives do), they are getting alimony payments, and depending on the state, for the rest of their lives!
The caller's husband is trying to secure their joint future. If they're going to need care, that's going to cost. If they're going to want to travel, that's not cheap. If they're going to be paying for their kids' education and weddings, that can easily total hundreds of thousands of dollars.
So... do the dreams of men matter?
We're not talking about the needs of children. That's out of the picture at this point. Now it becomes a question of whose dreams matter more. His dreams appear to be centered on the two of them together. Her dreams are about what she's doing with her day.
If is important to note that Dr. Laura frequently refers to a man marrying as a man "laying down his life".
Men: Want to pursue your dreams? Want to live your life instead of laying it down? DON'T MARRY. When you marry, it becomes all about her. And if you have children it is all about them. So don't do those things. Now, Dr. Laura and others might accuse you of being selfish or immature or "afraid of commitment" or some other negative label. So what? You can console yourself with all of your freedom and financial security and enjoying your dreams and NOT dealing with nagging and hostility from the person who is sharing your home. That way, the woman you would have married can work whatever job she wants to. She won't have to deal with your request she be a "slave" like you have been.
Thursday, August 15, 2019
Dating and Courting Are Not the Same Thing
I wish I had waited longer to finish up this entry about something Dr. Laura said on her show recently, because this past Tuesday (8/13/2019) she elaborated on her position about dates. I've been listening to her for decades and I don't remember her ever saying it so clearly. There might have been a couple of times I heard her saying the caller was dating a bum because he had gone on a date with someone else, but usually there were other problems with him, so I didn't catch it.
I agree with her on so much, but this is an area in which I think she's far too limiting and most of her listeners will not conform because it is generally understood that going on a few dates with someone doesn't make the people dating an exclusive couple; it is expected that they might be going on dates with other people as well, at least until they have a "define the relationship" moment, agree to be exclusive, or agree "we are girlfriend and boyfriend".
That's how it always was with any woman I dated, including my now-wife. My wife had the same understanding.
I agree with her on so much, but this is an area in which I think she's far too limiting and most of her listeners will not conform because it is generally understood that going on a few dates with someone doesn't make the people dating an exclusive couple; it is expected that they might be going on dates with other people as well, at least until they have a "define the relationship" moment, agree to be exclusive, or agree "we are girlfriend and boyfriend".
That's how it always was with any woman I dated, including my now-wife. My wife had the same understanding.
Saturday, August 03, 2019
So Glad I Could Help
A comment was left on this entry of the blog. I wanted to highlight the comment, but I'm also putting it here because I wanted to "censor" it because I really don't want profanities on my blog. I don't mind people using profanities in private with me. I just don't want them on my blog.
William, thank you so much for your very kind comment. I am so sorry for what you're going through and for what your daughter is going through. I sincerely hope you and your wife can patch things up, at least well enough and long enough that your daughter will be raised in a supportive home. If that doesn't happen, I hope you will be able to be there for your daughter as much as possible.
Guys, the best way to avoid a situation like this is to avoid conceiving children and refuse to marry.
William D.
Just found your blog at 6am in a hotel room away from my Wife and 4 year old daughter because initiating a divorce got me shooed out. Hooked after reading 1 post and stayed because of your positive personality. Might sound ironic to some that I say “positive” but honestly it takes a positive, brave and mindful person to come to terms with what’s going on, accept it and take the best route. It’s easy to go into a downward spiral of resentment and f--- things up (extreme example: Chris watts) Just reading reminds me that I am not alone and grounds me to deeper consciousness. Thanks Ken!
William, thank you so much for your very kind comment. I am so sorry for what you're going through and for what your daughter is going through. I sincerely hope you and your wife can patch things up, at least well enough and long enough that your daughter will be raised in a supportive home. If that doesn't happen, I hope you will be able to be there for your daughter as much as possible.
Guys, the best way to avoid a situation like this is to avoid conceiving children and refuse to marry.
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