Mother’s Day is THIS SUNDAY, May 11

Don't forget the mothers in your life, unless they've torn up their mother card.

Don't forget people like your stepmother, if you're trying to keep peace with her/your dad and she expects to be celebrated by you, even if she tore up her mother card.

And those of you who are foolish enough to be in a relationship with a woman who is a mother, you'd better do something for her, unless you want a fight.

Don't expect much reciprocation in June if you're a father or have taken on the role of a father.

Leo Gets Young Women Because He Can

You may have seen this graphic or heard jokes, including at awards shows, about Leonardo DiCaprio's dating pattern. [This entry has been bumped up because it is as relevant as ever.]

I'm ambivalent about Leonardo DiCaprio's work and his activism, so it's not like I'm some fan of his. However, I will defend him when it comes to his dating choices.

Rich, famous men dating significantly younger women is nothing new. Women have sought wealthy men for as long as wealth has existed. Men tend to find women 25 and under to be the most physically attractive.* Plus, they tend to have less family drama and baggage.

These are facts whether anyone likes them or not.

Most men would mostly date women 25 and under if they could. Most men can't, because they don't have what DiCaprio has. DiCaprio can, because he has wealth, and on top of that, he has fame.

It has always been the deal between men and women that men get the hottest women they can afford and women get the wealthiest men their looks can attract. How many women who make a living from their beauty date men with low-paying jobs? Women now have equal access to the workplace, to banking, and financial management, so women can earn their own money and support themselves, if they want to; they can become wealthy independent of a man. So why don't women, especially bikini models, partner up with nice men who have low incomes? Far more attractive and wealthy men are willing to partner up with women with low incomes.

It Might Be OK to Get Married If...

It might be OK to get married if...

• You know for sure she's infertile
• You will each maintain separate residences and she has signed quitclaim deeds to any properties you own
  
• You will not co-mingle finances
  
• She has signed, on video, with her lawyer present, and with a judge going over it with her, an iron-clad prenup before a wedding date was set
• You do not agree to exclusivity, so she can't control whether or not you are going to go on dates or have sex
  

Otherwise, marrying is far too risky for most men and most men have no good reason to marry.

Positions Dr. Laura Takes That Might Surprise Some

Both critics and supporters of Dr. Laura who think she's some religion-driven ultraconservative might be surprised if they listen to closely to her radio program. It helps to understand that she's coming from a position of what is best for children and makes a good society, not pushing a right-wing or Religious Right agenda.

Let's look at what might surprise some people.

What Timing!

How amazing is it that so many people manage to find THE One to marry in such a narrow sliver of time?

Most first marriages happen in the 25-35 age range.

Wow, out of eight billion people (OK, four billion if we narrow it down by sex), out of 60 years of adult life, so many people manage to find that ONE special someone in a narrow window of time. Sure, a few people marry someone they've known since their childhood or adolescence, but most people (where marriages aren't arranged) marry someone they met just a few years, at most, before the wedding.

Let's be real.

Not only are most of those people "settling," many of them think they are settling, no matter what they say.

Yes, some really do feel like they have actually found THE ONE and are blessed beyond expectations.

And yet... within five, ten, fifteen years, how many of them have demonstrated otherwise? Bitterness, resentment, abuse, affairs, separation, divorce, on and on it goes. Clearly they weren't THE ONE.

Some Christians (and I expect followers of some other religions) pray for their child's "future spouse" from the time they know they are expecting. The problem with Christian doing that is there is no guarantee in the Bible that everyone will find a spouse. Wanting your child to marry when they are adults and praying for the people they will interact with in their life is fine, but it is presumptuous to speak as though they will get married (and I wouldn't wish what's called marriage today on any son of mine.) I wonder what these people do when the marriage doesn't last, and their child is facing remarriage. The person they prayed for is an ex or dead, and now their child is potentially marrying someone they never prayed for all those years.

As unromantic as it is, chances are, there isn't THE ONE. There are two people settling for each other, because they are pressured or because they think it is how to get what they want or how to get to what they should do.

Common Marital Mistakes

Let's look at an entry on the Dr. Laura Blog about "marriage mistakes all couples make", which I'd cynically say starts with getting married in the first place. [This entry bumped up from April 2017]

1. Screaming.There is absolutely no justification for yelling at your spouse. If you’re upset about something, count to 15, and then calmly express yourself.

Guilty, guilty, guilty. I am. It's one reason I'm in therapy. I don't want to scream. My my wife would scream at me if she could. She does the equivalent through texts. One time in particular I screamed at her was when the kids were away for the night and I'd jumped through all of the hoops and I was hoping for some long-overdue lovemaking, and she made it clear it wasn't going to happen, basically because she didn't feel motivated to do it.

Yes, I screamed at her. I screamed at her that I was tired of being crapped on and rejected. I screamed that there were women who'd actually wanted me and it was a rotten thing to do to marry me when she didn't. Yes, I'm guilty. [It has been a long time since I last screamed. I'm a beaten dog and realize that I just have to endure, at least for now. - August 2022]

2. Ignoring. If you’re actually too upset to talk, just say, “I’m not ignoring you. I just need to take a little time-out to pull myself together, and then I’ll be good to go.”

I've never, ever ignored my wife. She has ignored me many times, and you know what? The more she ignores me, the better! It means less stress for me, less work for me.

Well, let me qualify that. It's OK as long as she's not going to be home alone with the kids, because then her ignoring me could be an indication that she's having a psychotic break.

3. Trying to agree on everything. Coming to a complete consensus on every issue is not going to happen.

Are you paying attention, guys? There will be disagreements, including unresolved disagreements. Do you really want to legally and financially bind yourself to such a situation?

If you have a difference of opinion, ask yourselves who cares more or is impacted the most. Then let that person make the decision and take the responsibility. However, if you’re not willing to accept the responsibility for something, you can’t bitch about it later.

Yeah, here's what happens with us. My wife will announce or request something. If I disagree, well, that's too bad. She's going to go ahead anyway. I might ask her questions, especially about the possible problems that might result from her decision, and she'll usually accuse me of being pessimistic and raining on her parade. Then, later, when what I was concerned might happen does happen, I'm stuck dealing with it because my wife will say she can't and that she didn't know things would be that bad. The one exception is that she wanted to keep homeschooling, and has wanted to return to homeschooling, but we put the kids in private school and have kept them there, but it was because a couple of experts, including one we needed to sign off on the homeschooling, said my wife wouldn't be able to keep doing it.

4. Making assumptions. Don’t assume anything! If you want to know something, ASK.

Generally good advice, but it can also be helpful to think through what the likely possibilities are before or without asking. Sometimes you'll realize you don't really care all that much and so there is no point to asking.

5. Not communicating. A lot of problems can be avoided if you simply talk to each other.

In our case, the less communication, the better. If she's not communicating with me, then I'm not being given more tasks to do, hearing about how I'm wrong or insufficient in some area, or how much sex is a burden to her. Or I'll hear less about some inane TV show I don't care about. So it's good if she communicates less. And I'm better off if I communicate less, because talking with her rarely improves anything for me. Rather, anything I say can and will be used against me.

6. Lying. If you ever think, “Boy, I hope my spouse never finds out about this,” then don’t do it.

I'm generally for honesty, but really, not telling her things she doesn't need to know is fine, at least in our case.

Sometimes, a spouse has something wrong with them, so that if you tell them something innocuous they'll launch into a tirade and be in a bad mood for a couple of days. Sorry, honestly, especially volunteering something, isn't the best policy in that case.

7. Not making your spouse a priority. Your spouse needs to be adored and appreciated, and given affection, attention, and compliments. Get your pride and ego out of the way, and stop dwelling on what you should be getting.

Generally, yes. But at some point, when things are not right, mitigation is necessary. Let's take the example of a trauma center surgeon. She's there saving lives. And that's her priority. But if she never thinks about her own needs, as in "I really need to be relieved so that I can tinkle, then get something to eat," then she's eventually going to collapse. Making your spouse a priority without them doing the same thing can only last so long.

Another in a Long Line of Articles Confirming What We Already Knew

In the opening of her Tuesday, February 7, 2023 program, Dr. Laura opened up reading from and adding to an essay written by a "BJ Foster." Dr. Laura didn't want to say the initials "BJ," even though she says penis, vagina, ejaculate, whore, hump, orgasm throughout her programs. Anyway the essay is "Five Reasons Your Wife Doesn't Want Sex."

We already know why.

Either she doesn't want it or she wants to punish or manipulate us.

When I heard what the topic was, this is what I wrote:

-They already have you
-They aren't attracted to you
-They don't have the same drive
-Everything kills their moods
-Hormonal shifts

You'll see how right I got it.

Share This Blog

I hope you notice and appreciate that this blog doesn't have ads, nor do I ask for or accept money.

This blog exists for me to think things through, vent, and hopefully help others.

If you have found anything here helpful, insightful, informative, or entertaining, please let others know this blog is here.

Copy and paste from this blog as much as you want, as long as you don't distort or misrepresent what I write here. It's great if you link back to the blog post when you do that, but in situations in which it is best for you not to, like when you're breaking up with someone, I understand if you don't.

I'd appreciate it if you would spread the word or continue to spread the word by linking to this blog in emails, social media, forums, wherever.

I can help more people that way.

So please, share this link: https://tunasafedolphin.blogspot.com

Know Thyself

Anyone can benefit from doing this, but this is especially for anyone who is one or more of the following:

• Young
• Considering further education or declaring a major
• Looking for a job or to change jobs
• Looking or a new place to live
• Getting out of a marriage or relationship or considering it
• Feeling like you're in a rut or making no progress in your life 
• Facing or considering retirement
  

Believe it or not, your time is limited. To figure out what you should be doing, you really need to understand yourself well. Know thyself.

You're going to need some peace and quiet to do this. No distractions. You'll need time to think, to ponder, to reflect. You'll need to be alone. No spouse, no girlfriend, no friends - alone. No movies, no television, no social media, no books, etc. You want to be alone with your thoughts.

You might need to get a hotel room or motel room. You can only do this at home if you're really, really disciplined in being able to ignore and avoid distractions, and nobody will reach you.

A Question for Men Who Are Or Have Been Married

If you knew before you married what you know now about how she does/did things or handles/handled things, would you have married her?

It may be about how she parents the kids; maybe you don't like what she's done with them. But if you're happy to have your children, don't let that be the reason you come down on the side of "Yes, I would have married her." You could have had the children without marrying her. Think about how she treats you, how she handles life, independent of being a mother to your children. If she already had kids, they can be part of the consideration. How has she been or how was she as a wife? What has it been like dealing with any of her baggage? Knowing what you know now, would you have married her?

I ask because I was thinking about the sex life I have with my wife. If we'd had a sex life like this before we married, we never would have married. I wouldn't have married her. Having a great sex life was very, very important to me.

Women file the significant majority of the divorces, so it's not necessarily a given that a divorced man would say "Of course I wouldn't have married her!" For those of you whose wife divorced you, also add to your answer if you would have married her based on what the marriage was like before the divorce.

Comment below. You can stay anonymous.

Answering Marriage Seller Assertions, Talking Points, and Questions - Part 2

See the first entry in this series here for a bit of explanation.

Marriage matures people/makes them better/turns them into grownups.

The only evidence provided for this that I've heard is Dennis Prager asking married and divorced people if marrying made them more mature/better people.

That means he's asking people "Did something you chose to do make you a better person?" Do you think there just might be a reason for many people to say yes, even though the answer is no?

People are reluctant to say something that cost them a lot of time, effort, and money that they chose to do didn't improve them.

Dennis doesn't try this approach with college attendance, which he says, in almost all cases, makes people worse. If he were to ask most people who attended college, especially people who finished their degrees, if it made them better people, they'd say yes.

Time, age, and struggle can mature people. If people really want to take on voluntary struggles, they can find ones better to choose than marriage. People can and do mature without marriage. Cut out the middleman/middlewoman and seek maturity through other means. Don't sign a terrible state contract.


If you don't marry, your life will be empty and meaningless.

There is more than one way to answer this.

A) My life as a free man is already full and meaningful, so clearly this isn't true.

B) I'll take that risk.

C) Some married people kill their spouse. How full and meaningful is that?

D) Jesus and the Apostle Paul had full, meaningful lives without being married.


Not marrying is selfish.

There is more than one way to answer this.

A) Earlier you told me that marrying would make me wealthier and otherwise better off. Wouldn't marrying on that basis be selfish?

B) If staying in my default state of being free and not signing a terrible state contract is what you call selfish, so be it. I'd rather be free and have you claim I'm selfish than enter into a terrible state contract and have you applaud me for it.

C) Refusing to sign a terrible state contract is smart. Marrying is usually delusional, ignorant, or masochistic.

D) If I'm a selfish person, I should definitely avoid inflicting myself on someone in a marriage.

E) Explain to me how you marrying was selfless. [Listen closely to what they say.] You could have done that without a terrible state contract.


Remember, men, your default state is being unmarried. The burden is on the marriage seller to explain why you should marry, not on you to explain why you won't sign a terrible state contract.

Read Part 3 here.

Men Should Ask These Questions if They're Considering Marriage

This past Monday, Dr. Laura's opening commentary (and the question posted to her Facebook page) was about questions to ask (and, presumably answer) before marrying. [This was originally posted in December 2015 and I'm bumping it up.]

This inspired me to come up with my own list a man should ask himself if he's thinking about marrying a specific woman. So here they are, in no particular order:

Organizations of Which to Be Wary

Recently, a certain fraternal organization started within the last few years and its leader have been getting trashed online. I had been wary and a bit suspicious of the organization and its leader, even though he was saying many things with which I was agreeing. There were a few things he was saying and doing, and the tone he was taking, that made me suspicious. [This has been bumped up from January 2022. They are now supposedly offering a health care plan of sorts. What could go wrong?]

In no particular order, and subject to being revised and expanded, here are some signs you should be skeptical/cautious of joining or associating with an organization:

The Priorities of the Professional #Traffickinghub Crusaders

I used to fall for the kind of talking points regurgitated by the professional #Traffickinghub crusaders. Starting decades ago, I was on-board with their alarmism, their insistence that we are/were in a crisis. I've been closely observing the current personalities involved for many years now. [This was originally posted in June 2022.]

On the surface, it seems like the professional #Traffickinghub crusaders are extremely concerned about assault (rape, molestation, etc.). After all, that's one of the reasons for "trafficking."

But when they consistently ignore or refuse to focus on actual cases of rape and molestation at churches, schools, daycares, and other places, and instead take every opportunity to bash adult media, when they constantly use social media services to get attention and donations when those very services have had exponentially more of the very things these crusaders claim necessitates shutting down a porn site and criminally prosecuting its executives, things don't make sense until you consider that perhaps their goal isn't addressing assault, but rather amassing donations by attacking adult media.

It's been years since the "#Traffickinghub" campaign started, and their petition has been online. YEARS. What has happened with all of that time, up until this posting?

• PornHub removed unverified videos (such as those uploaded by users like your neighbor, often videos pirated from other users or websites) and will only allow videos posted by verified producers. Of course the professional Traffickinghub crusaders consider this a victory.
• Credit card companies no longer allow PornHub viewers to pay for their porn (and thereby pay performers) using their credit cards. Of course this has been seen as another victory by the crusaders, although they shifted to complaining that the credit cards are still involved through the ads on PornHub.
• Laila Mickelwait, who was touted as Director of Abolition at Exodus Cry, started something called the Justice Defense Fund.
  
• Laila Mickelwait has gotten a lot of attention from certain journalists and certain government hearings.
• Laila Mickelwait/Justice Defense Fund, Exodus Cry, and other organizations have continued to rake in donations.
• Laila Mickelwait has gotten social media mentions each time someone has signed her petition.
• Laila Mickelwait has broadened from focusing on PornHub to more adult media sites.
  
• PornHub is still online.
• PornHub executives haven't been arrested or charged with any crimes.
• People are still being raped and molested. I'm not aware of a single incident of any such crime being stopped by professional Traffickinghub crusaders.
  
• Videos of rapes, molestation, and "revenge porn" are still all over the Internet. I'm not aware of a single incident of any such crime being stopped by professional Traffickinghub crusaders.
• Performers have been inconvenienced and deprived of money.
• A man went on a mass murder spree at a massage business, and told investigators what sounds like Traffickinghub talking points.
  

Why, it's almost like this is all about lining the pockets and stroking the egos of a few people who have a religious objection to adult media, and not actually helping anyone else.

Laila Mickelwait constantly asserts that PornHub is a "crime scene" full of rape videos (despite the fact that they only have videos from verified producers), tries to harass advertisers and credit card companies, and even tries to get search engines to pretend that PornHub doesn't exist.

Why, considering social media platforms, churches, schools, and other adult websites have an exponentially more serious problem than PornHub ever did? Might it be because PornHub is the most popular and well-known porn site? Might it be that the goal is getting donations, especially from churchgoers and social media users?

It all makes more sense when considering that Exodus Cry's roots are in churches that have a negative fixation on adult media, often to the point of preaching against it more than sloth, envy, greed, gluttony, and gossip combined.

Yes, I’d Date A Transgender Person

PragerU has asked “Would you date a transgender person?”

We have to remember what makes someone transgender.

If someone claims to be transgender, we have to accept that they are.

If someone who has XX chromosomes, developed breasts, a clitoris, vulva, vagina, no penis/testicles/facial hair, appears feminine, hasn’t undergone surgery or hormone treatment to reduce femininity and gain masculinity, is attracted to men including me; basically, “assigned female at birth,” and had been living life entirely as a girl/woman until now, and was now claiming to be a trans man… sure, I’d date that person.

It also helps to remember that even if I found myself unmarried, I wouldn’t be looking for a wife or even an exclusive girlfriend, so it wouldn’t matter much to me what the person would say or think, as long as I found them attractive, they weren’t a threat, and they were willing to do what I’d want to do on a date.

I have zero interest in being with someone whose “vagina” was surgically constructed. Natural vaginas have certain qualities I desire. I have a classmate who posts on social media pictures of where their penis used to be, and describes the problems with what’s there now. No thanks!

The brains of women are different than the brains of men.

I’m into women. Women who were “AFAB.” And yes, If I was free I’d date a transgender person who is as I described early in this post.

Stay Strong, Unmarried Men

For all of you men who are not currently married, this is one of those times of the year family and certain cultural elements push you to marry.

One way is trying to make it seem like everybody gets married, that marriage should be your goal, and that only losers don’t marry. 

Jewelry companies run ads promoting the ridiculous notion that engagement rings make perfect holiday gifts. There are legal reasons why that’s a terrible idea.

Don’t fall for the trap.

If you’re engaged, don’t let the manipulations during this time of year push you into signing a terrible state contract (marrying).

Nor should you make any large purchases for, or with a woman. Want to buy something for your mother? Go ahead. But not a fiancée, not a girlfriend, or any other woman you’ve been seeing.

Don’t propose. Don’t co-sign a lease or mortgage or anything. Don’t move in with a woman or let her move in with you.

Stay free.

Follow the tags for this post, like “Free Men” and “Marriage Strike” and “Running Game” to be reminded why you should stay free and how to make the most of this time of year.

As always, feel free to comment. 

Is Divorcing Over Infertility Justified?

On X, I saw a screenshot of what appeared to be a Reddit post from a wife whose husband is divorcing her over infertility.

The X account was appalled at what the man was doing.

If you say that marriage is for procreation, indeed multiplying (and you mean by that creating three or more children), then isn’t their marriage invalid? Isn’t he right to end it and seek another bride?

Adoption isn’t multiplying. Someone else has already had the child. Adoption can be a beautiful thing, but it’s not multiplying.

Multiplying is conceiving more children, and according to a popular pastor I’ve heard, it’s having three or more children, presumably those children living long enough to repeat the cycle.

If you’re a philosophical naturalist or have any other overarching beliefs about reality that indicate the “point” of life is to perpetuate your genes, then of course he should do what it takes to spread his genes. Most Western women aren’t going to support or even tolerate him doing that with another woman while still married to her. Would this man’s wife support using “third party” reproduction so ensure his genes continue?

Worldview matters here. If the point of life/marrying is multiplying or perpetuating genes, he’s justified in seeking someone else.

If someone is going to say he’s obligated to stay married to this woman and NOT spread his genes through other women or “third party” reproduction, then they are admitting that multiplying is not mandatory and not a highest priority. They should also explain under what conditions divorce is permitted and hold women to those standards, not only men.

If the point of marrying is simply companionship, why involve the government?

Whatever your position on these matters, consistency will make your claims more serious to your audience.

Important Messages to Young Men - Know Thyself

The intro to this series is here.

Know thyself. Generally, the younger you are, the more about yourself you still have to discover. Also, things might change over time with experiences and with your determination to change something. Know yourself as you are now, and accept that you can and will change to some extent. 

Even though you’re young, what I advise here applies to you and is something you can do many times throughout your life. 

Knowing yourself will inform most of this series. For example, knowing yourself will help with your health and how you spend your time.

Use what you've got.

Develop or buy/rent what you need.

Own your flaws, faults, and shortcomings.

Know what you don't know. You can never know everything, but you can know where to find out or where to find someone who knows what you don't.

You can take calculated risks. What’s a good risk or bad risk might depend on who you are. 

Know what your goals are. For example, having children isn't for everyone, but if you want to truly want to be a father, then that should inform most of what you do. Do you want to work for yourself? Do you want to climb someone else’s ladder? Do you want live on a boat? Only you can figure out your goals. Leaving them up to a parent or partner isn’t good. 

One thing all of you should know is that if you’re an adult male, you ARE a real man. Don’t be manipulated by other people claiming you have to do what they like in order for you to be a real man.

Why Men Send Unsolicited Crotch Shots

There are two basic reasons men send unsolicited crotch shots, or "d--- pics".

1) Exhibitionism has long been a thing. The stereotype used to be of the guy wearing the hat and coat flashing women in a park. Now it can be done with a smart phone.

2) Much more commonly, the "average Joe" (whether he is average down there or not) does it because he has accepted the ridiculous notion that men and women are not different.

It's quite simple, really:

Most heterosexual men would be somewhat aroused by receiving an image of a woman's genitals, even unsolicited, even if he doesn't know her, even more so if he had reason to believe it was an image of the woman who is in contact with him, and she intentionally sent it to him. (We're not talking about injured or diseased genitals, although a few guys probably have a fetish that covers that.)

As these guys would want a woman to send a picture of her genitals, they reason that since women and men are pretty much the same except for certain exterior body parts, she's likely to want to see his genitals as much has he wants to see hers.

A lot of women can't believe men think this is a good way to attract or arouse women. "Don't these men know the truth?" No, they don't, because they've been told over and over again that women are just like men, including when it comes to sex.

But the truth is out there. Extremely, and I mean extremely rare is the woman who likes getting unsolicited crotch shots from men. Heck, most women don't want crotch shots from men they're in love with, and the ones who do are more about liking that they have, according to the picture, aroused a man they care about.

Guys, she's either disgusted or she's laughing at it, and, often, sharing it with her friends so they can make fun of you.

Men and women ARE different, and it isn't just a matter of socialization. Do you think society has socialized men to want to see the genitals of other men? No, but gay males tend to have the same reaction to unsolicited crotch shots of men as heterosexual males have when it comes to those of women.


[Edited to clean up typing mistakes.]

Why Did I Get Married?

Why did I ever want to get married?

If you read this blog, you have to have noticed that I now warn most men against marrying. So why did I get married? Why did I want to?

Well, it can probably be explained by several things, including, in no particular order:

• being raised by middle-class married parents
• choosing Evangelicalism (which wasn't my parents doing), which was pushing marrying as one of the central, main goals in a good life
• virtually all media I was exposed to growing up and into my early adulthood portrayed marriage as the goal, as the default, as the happily ever after, and implied that only a loser or freak (or gay person) "couldn't" marry
• as far as I knew, my parents and all of their siblings got married and stay married
• likewise my grandparents stayed married until death
• my older sibling got married and, so far, stayed married
  
• being generally conservative, loyal, affectionate, and a "hopeless romantic" 
• wanting sex, and being hoodwinked into thinking that marriage meant lots of good sex, and I was of the belief that "unmarried" sex was wrong (What really constitutes marriage, from a Biblical perspective, is a whole different matter than I realized.)
• thinking I wanted to raise kids and that having and raising kids what something I was supposed to do, and that being legally married was the best way to do that 
• having had a great relationship with a girlfriend and thinking that it would be possible to have that same kind of relationship with a wife who, unlike the girlfriend, is religiously and politically compatible
• mistakenly thinking I'd found a woman who would be compatible, fit the profile of what I was looking for in a wife, and would be a pleasant, positive, productive influence on my life
  

Does any of that sound familiar to you?

That at least three neighbors and some friends and extended family had divorced parents and that my own parents ended up divorcing should have been a tip off, but it wasn't.

Over the years, my delusions slipped away and my ignorance was reduced. That's why I now realized I shouldn't have married, and most men shouldn't.

Our media, our religions, and often our families call much attention to weddings and marriage, but not to divorce, save for scandalous celebrity divorces. If we could see all the misery in marriages, if every divorce was given as much attention as every wedding, if we were to pile together all of the media that claims to help marriages, if we could line up every divorce lawyer out there in one place, and if more thriving free people were visible, fewer men would be so delusional or ignorant as to think as I did.

This is one reason why it is so important to let men and boys know that they don't have to marry; that they can be great men and live good lives without ever marrying.

I was doing well on my own. My finances were in great shape and I was on track to retire very well off and reach my career goals. I enjoyed my hobbies and friendships. I spent time with my parents (separately), siblings, etc. I traveled. I was healthy. I had a nice residence. That was all without being married.

That I enjoyed my time alone and so many of the activities I most enjoyed where solitary should have been a huge clue to me.

Now I know that:

-Most marriages fail. 

-Most men can get everything they want out of life without ever marrying. 

-Marriage is a bad deal for most men.
-Present-day Evangelical restrictions on sexuality aren't all from extant Biblical commands.

-Men can be great Christians without ever legally marrying.

-I had a great life when I was a Free Man.

Don't make the same mistake I did. Stay free.