This is Exactly Why I Didn't Want This

I haven't had time to blog, in no small part because my wife has undergone a couple of surgeries and I'm helping her recover from them, because I love her and because it is my obligation as a spouse.

I beg your forgiveness if I sound like a jerk and unromatic as I vent here. I refuse to vent to her because I don't want to do anything that I know will hurt her feelings.

It’s Simple

Like most men, it really doesn't take much to keep me happy and satisfied. As long as my stomach is full, my testicles are empty, I have some time to myself, I have some guy time, I get to church fairly regularly, I can hug and kiss my wife and kids, I'm not being nagged, and I am being respected… life is good.

I don't need the latest electronics, motor vehicles, or expensive clothes.

I don't need season tickets for sporting events.

I don't need to travel. I don't need expensive food or food that is complicated to prepare. I can even buy and make my food myself. I don’t need to party. I don't need to use tobacco or to smoke anything. I don't need booze or gambling. There's no television show I just have to watch.

I do not get much guy time these days, and haven't for a long time. That's a problem. That may change soon. I hope it does.

Crime is Down Which Should Be Surprising, Given That..

Report after report indicates that crime, especially violent crime, is down in recent years. The economy is terrible, and yet crime is down. There goes the common Leftist idea that that poverty causes crime (it is more likely that crime increases poverty, actually). Crime was also low during the Great Depression.

But some common ideas frequently promoted by social conservatives (and I can be considered a social conservative on most issues) also have to be questioned:

We are told that:

1. Unmarried men are more prone to violent crime because marriage tames men.

and

2. Viewing "adult" material makes men more disrespectful and violent towards women (at least, that's what some ugly stupid b---- told me... kidding... just kidding) and increases crime.

And yet...

A. We have more unmarried men than ever before. That is because of and increase in:  1) divorce, 2) shacking up, 3) men who never marry, 4) and the age at which men first marry.

B. Free/almost-free easily-accessed adult material of all sorts is ubiquitous and sources that are happy about that and dismayed by that both agree more and more people are viewing it.

C. Crime rates are down significantly.

Can anyone explain how all three of these things can be simultaneously true? Are we really to believe that crime rates would be down even more if A and B were not true... if all of the adult material went away and 21-year-old guys who aren't even Mormons or Baptists were getting married and staying married? And how can that be proven?

It is possible, even likely, that correlations have been blamed when other correlations are really the issue? For example, maybe being unmarried doesn't make a man more likely to commit violent crime - maybe committing violent crime makes a man less likely to attract and keep a wife? Of course, there are plenty of married men who commit violent crime and plenty of women who stick with violent men.

I have heard that more adult material actually correlates to a decrease in rape, which would help explain a drop in the violent crime rate.

Are the crime rates all cooked?

Can it all be attributed to "three strikes" getting the most active and violent criminals off the streets?

I'm beginning to suspect Sociology is nothing but a bunch of snake oil and that nobody really knows anything, and that any study dealing with sociological issues can be interpreted any conflicting way.  As Dennis Prager (a social conservative who does not buy the "smut causes crime" line) says, either studies confirm common sense or they are wrong.

What say you???

Dealing With a Bratty Wife

Anyone have any advice of how to deal with a bratty (or bitchy, or whatever you want to call it) wife? It isn't so much that she's being a brat to me (she is, somewhat). It is that she's been bratty towards others, needlessly antagonizing them when they don't do what she wants, when she wants, how she wants. Example... she wanted her brother to babysit. He declined. She started ripping into him about what a loser she thinks he is, point out that she went to college, graduated, got her career going, and doesn't abuse alcohol or pot or illegal drugs (she just loads up on coffee, candy/sugar, and has multiple prescription pills she pops), while he is unemployed, has no college education, and has abused substances... but we still trust him to watch our kids for short amounts of time.

I gently asked if her treatment of her brother was going to make it more or less likely he will want to babysit for us in the future.

I'd like to apologize to her brother and others she's been acting this way towards lately, but I have a strong belief in marital unity and not going behind your spouse's back, and all of that. Besides, she should be the one apologizing, right? Do I encourage her to do so?

My wife has been especially stressed out because of a series of things, but currently it is about an impending surgery. But... dealing with stressful things is part of life and no excuse to antagonize people.

Any tips or suggestions about what to say/do towards her or the people she's antagonized?

Please don't say sex. I can't sleep with her brother. But seriously, sex doesn't relax her or put her in a better mood. It does relax me and put me in a better mood, though. And yes, I do realize I could have avoided dealing with a bratty wife by marrying someone else or not marrying at all. But here we are.

If I Was Abdul Arian's Family, I'd Be Ashamed

This is back in the news, so I'm bumping it up...

I'm so sick of the families of people CAUGHT ON CAMERA apparently committing crimes subsequently suing TAXPAYERS (via suing local government) after their after family member is shot and killed by cops.

I don't think there should be any right to be protected from death while you are committing a crime.

Have some semblance of shame and rebuff the ambulance chasers when they come calling. I know you want to blame everyone else and get a payout, but the blame appears to fall squarely on your departed loved one, and maybe a little with YOU. That may sound harsh, but so is endangering ME and then suing ME. If anything, YOU should be charged for the cost of the whole pursuit.

This guy, if authorities are to be believed, called 9-1-1 while he was being followed by the police and driving erratically, and told the dispatcher he HAD A GUN, and now his family is suing after he does all of that and acts like he is going to shoot officer, and the police defended themselves and innocent bystanders.

Warning... although the camera is far away, you see the guy's last moments of life...



The family has filed a claim for something like $120,000,000.00. Really? Have they no shame???

Everything Changes

One of the reasons to have ceremonies is to mark that something is changing. The wedding ceremony is no exception. Getting married changes everything.

Don't misunderstand.

I'm not saying that getting married will make someone mature or adopt better behaviors.

Getting married, if nothing else, changes your legal and financial status. Usually, it changes your social status. People like me also think entering into holy matrimony is a spiritual change.

I suspect that with some guys, especially those shacking up, the thinking is that getting married won't really change anything, except that there will be an expectation of sexual exclusivity, which presumably had been in place already.

By law, power shifts upon marriage, especially if a groom is earning more than his bride (as most do) and cares about his hard-earned money. Because of that shift in power, along with other aspects, it is quite often the case that everything will change.

The guy who expects that life will continue much as it did before is likely in for a rude awakening.

McCarthyism: Don't Date Single Moms

She was hot in Playboy, I have to give her that. But she a woman with a minor kid, and commentators as diverse as Tom Leykis and Dr. Laura Schlessinger agree that dating a woman with a minor child is a bad idea. McCarthy has provided a good example why. Suzy Byrne reports:


"It's a trap!" A booby trap!

(Christopher Polk/Getty Images for NBCUniversal)

Jim Carrey has fired back at Jenny McCarthy, who said on "The Howard Stern Show" Monday that her ex-boyfriend basically turned his back on her autistic 10-year-old son Evan after their five-year relationship came to an end in 2010.

Carrey did not adopt the child, correct? Granted, he did make the mistake of dating a woman with a minor child and thus bonding with the child, but the child has a father.

"I will always do what I believe is in the best interest of Evan's well being," the actor said in a statement. "It's unfortunate that Evan's privacy is not being considered. I love Evan very much and will miss him always."

That was so good I suspect it was written by a publicist. Give that person a raise.

McCarthy, 39, revealed that Carrey, 50, chooses to no longer see Evan and it's been very difficult for her son to not have the "Dumb and Dumber" star in his life.


Some of the comments after the article are right-on. I realize it is the nature of Stern's show to get people to talk trash about their exes and say things about their personal life that they shouldn't, but McCarthy has a habit of using her son in her attention whoring. Some celebrities successfully protect their children - she uses her child for publicity and to strike out at an ex-lover. Carrey shouldn't have gotten involved with her in the first place, but she also made a mistake in having her son bond with her boyfriend. Most romantic relationships don't last, and the odds are even more bleak when the two adults who have chaotic pasts and big egos, and are in different stages of their lives. She should have known she was setting her son up for heartbreak. (She's dating an athlete now... the cycle repeats.)

Finally, I have to wonder how many medical professionals have been professionally hurt, and how many children have gotten severely ill because of her hyping of BS information about vaccines? She's one celeb who should be... singled out.

I'm Alive, Just Busy

Much to write. Little time. Life continues to be good in general. Talk with you soon. Thanks for reading.

The Church of Dear Abby?

SOMEWHERE IN THE U.S.A. wrote into Dear Abby:

My son came out of the closet last year.

I love him dearly and we're a close family. His brothers and sisters also accept and love him.

My husband and I are now struggling because we're not sure how God really views gays and lesbians.

To listen to some religious people, my son will go to hell.

I can't believe that God would create a person to be this way, then turn His back on him.

I tried reading the Bible, but the wording was hard to understand.

I don't want to talk to my pastor about it because, even though I have accepted my son for who he is, I still have trouble talking to people about it because I'm not sure how they'll react. Do you believe a gay person will go to heaven?

According to the Bible, sex is for marriage, and marriage unites a man and woman. Sex outside of marriage is a sin. There are many other sins. We all sin. We've all fallen short of the glory of God. The wages of sin is death. Jesus Christ provides reconciliation, dying for our sins in our place, exxchanging our sin for His righteousness so that followers of Christ have enternal fellowship with a holy God. Ultimately, it isn't about someone's feelings or whether or not they engage in homosexual behavior. Is Jesus Christ their Lord and Savior? Have they repented so that they say His will is right, even when it conflicts with their own feelings and desires?

Dear Abby responded:

I believe that entrance to heaven is based upon a person's character, not his or her sexual orientation.

Today, because of modern scientific studies, we know more about homosexuality than was known when the Bible was written, and that sexual orientation is not a "choice."

The bottom line is to be loving and polite towards your son. Being loving does not mean you have to abandon your moral convictions and beliefs; being loving should be part of your beliefs and morality. If he demands that you approve of his behavior and you don’t approve of it, say something like "I won’t let this come between us. Please show me the same love and respect."Behavior is a choice, and nobody knows more than the ultimate Author of the Bible.If it is based on our character, none of us make it. Jesus Christ's character is the only pefect human character. Dear Abby is basing her belief on... what... exactly?This is exactly the thing you should talk to your pastor about. Dear Abby doesn't determine who goes to heaven – God does.It's called... Bible study. There's no shortage of good information on how to read the Bible, even if you go to a church that doesn't teach it (if so, find a different church). It isn't like any other book you might find. There are many literary styles used, after all. Check out the resources listed on this page, and you might want to read this booklet.You are making the assumption that God created someone to be that way, and that God turns His back on people who go to Hell."Some religious people" You can find "some religious people" to say anything. "Some religious people" say that if you send them money, you will automatically get a hundreds of times as much money back. People can say all sorts of wrong things. Some religious people have people hand over their little daughters to be raped Some religious people fly airliners into skyscrapers. That someone claims to be "religious" tells me nothing about them.As people, since they are. But why would anyone write in to Dear Abby for insight into God?That's great. And it is great that you have other children to continue the family line, if you care about that.I'm sorry. Not that he came out of the closet, but that he identifies as a homosexual. That obviously isn't easy for him or for you.

K-E Diet For Brides

Thank you, Good Morning America, for this article.
Here's another example of some women being so obsessed with their Special Day that they take an extreme measure to drop weight quickly. I wonder how many of these women have spent more time thinking about their wedding dress than they have about how to be a good wife? I wonder how many of these women prepared for their wedding day in more meaningful ways, such as thoroughly discussing important issues faced by married couples? How many have financially prepared for marriage?

How many of these women are shacking up with heir husband-to-be? How many have children with him? How many of these women are going to gain the weight back, and then some, almost as fast as they lost it?

No matter. What really matters is fitting in to that really expensive white dress for that Special Day.

Brides-to-be looking to shed that final 10, 15 or 20 pounds in order to fit into their dream wedding gown have taken a controversial approach to crash dieting that involves inserting a feeding tube into their noses for up to 10 days for a quick fix to rapid weight loss.

The K-E diet, which boasts promises of shedding 20 pounds in 10 days, is an increasingly popular alternative to ordinary calorie-counting programs. The program has dieters inserting a feeding tube into their nose that runs to the stomach. They're fed a constant slow drip of protein and fat, mixed with water, which contains zero carbohydrates and totals 800 calories a day.

I bet this looks really good at the rehearsal dinner.

Di Pietro says patients are under a doctor's supervision, although they're not hospitalized during the dieting process. Instead, they carry the food solution with them, in a bag, like a purse, keeping the tube in their nose for 10 days straight. Di Pietro says there are few side effects.

"The main side effects are bad breath; there is some constipation because there is no fiber in the food," he said.

Bet that makes for some fun on the wedding night.

Dr. Di Pietro charges $1,500 for the 10-day plan, and says the before-and-after pictures sell themselves.

Who cares about cost? Most women marry men who earn more than they do. So it is going to be his bill to pay.

My ultimate point is this: too many women focus too much on the wedding in ratio to the marriage itself. I do believe weddings should be lovely celebrations of holy matrimony. But I am thankful to this day that my wife was a reasonable bride.

The Future of Audio Talk Shows?

An interesting development in media happened a week ago. After over three years of waiting for his contract to end (getting paid nicely... he has the same agent as Howard Stern), Tom Leykis resumed his eponymous show, but he's doing it online.

As he points out, technology is progressing such so that new cars, new handheld devices, and home entertainment centers will be able to get live streaming audio from the Internet just like they do from AM, FM, and satellites. This means his potential will grow and his actual audience may grow as well.

His show was in very high demand last Monday and it was crashing web servers with all of the demand. Those trying to access his show might have had trouble doing so.

A fits his personality, he owns the whole operation (his company also streams audio for music and other things) and is not limited by bosses or the FCC or Canadia watchdogs, so he speaks very frankly (including what he thinks about various people in radio) and will use any language doing so - as will his callers. His show is targeted towards males, especially young, unmarried, unchurched males... and the women who want to know what these males are thinking. It is unlike any talk radio you'll hear. Leykis even says it isn't radio, since radio is an appliace. It is live streaming audio. The closest thing it can be compared to is satellite radio's Howard Stern (Leykis shares an agent with Stern, and praises Stern) and podcaster Adam Carolla (sounds like there's no love lost between Adam and Tom) - both themselves refugees from terrestrial radio. Leykis skillfully, bluntly, and often humorously spouts his opinions on current events, pop culture icons, radio hosts, politicians, monetary policy, investing, workplace culture, women, sex, relationships... just about anything. Anyone living on a steady diet of right-wing talk radio, syndicated or local newstalk, religious broadcasting, or bland, politically-correct public or otherwise Leftist radio may find Leykis' audio content disconcerting or a breath of fresh air, depending on their perspective. Just one example - if a caller asks for the call to be ended "Whitney Houston style", he (someone working for him, actually) will play a sample of one of her songs followed by the sound of someone drowning. If you think that's in poor taste, stick around for someone to ask to be "taken out Andrea Yates style".

Leykis does sell advertising time, but so far the ad breaks are short and he also hopes to get revenue from subscriptions that grant people access to podcasts of the show, including the ability to pick and choose which hours they want to listen to, when they want to listen to them... and high quality live audio. Otherwise, people can listen to the live stream for free (like here), or hear it while it repeats constantly until the next live broadcast.

As more of this happens with "radio" and "television", I will be curious to see if the traditional legacy broadcast stations and networks survive. It is so easy to order content on-demand now, and watch it with a portable appliance. My mother has dropped cable and satellite television companies and simply has her big screen hooked up to a computer so she can watch Netflix and DVDs. The shows to which I listen that run on terrestrial or satellite radio I usually listen to via an online stream or podcast.

As I've written over and over again, I think Leykis misses the mark on some important things. But he does have a show many will find entertaining and helpful, and I do think he gets a lot right when it comes to how males are treated and how guys can protect themselves.

ON MY SHIFT IN OHIO: Look Up "Anita Hill"

"ON MY SHIFT IN OHIO" wrote in to Dear Abby:

I'm a 27-year-old professional who works long hours at a hospital.

She probably doesn't remember Anita Hill, because she is too young.

Dating isn't easy for me, so I decided to try an online service.

That's understandable, given the hours.

My first time online I recognized a co-worker I see on a regular basis and have always exchanged smiles with, but don't know personally. I wrote him a message just to say hi.

BZZZZZT WRONG! Well, since you're female and most of HR is female, you have nothing to worry about. But you shouldn't have done that.

I didn't say I was interested in him. I never heard back from him.

He's trying not to get fired and sued.

Since I sent that message he has checked my profile several times.

He shouldn't do that. He's risking his job, his finances, and putting your employer at risk.

But when he sees me in the hallways, he turns red and now just gives me half-smiles.

He should ignore you completely.

I was waiting at the elevator with him the other day, but he was so embarrassed by the silence that I bailed and took the stairs.

That was merciful of you.

He continues to smile, but I'm not sure what to say to him the next time I see him.

Nothing. Do not interact with him at all. Unless you want to get him fired and score some money from suing your employer.

I think it's rude that he didn't reply to my message -- even with a "See you around!" -- but I'm too embarrassed to do or say anything when I encounter him.

Yeah, well, welcome to the world creating by laws, courts, lawsuits, and employer policies. Never mind that people have met their spouses on the job. Now, whether or not a man keeps his job or an employer has to pay out is entirely up to the whims of a woman. Man A can say X, Y, and Z to a woman and get fired. Man B can say the exact same thing to the exact same woman and get laid. It is all up to her whims. It doesn't matter if you wouldn't get the man fired or sue your employer - the fact is, you can. And some women do. Besides, you might become one of those women if you dated him and then he dumped you. It is just too risky for men. This is what we're doing to our brothers and sons, as well as our sisters and daughters who would, in the past, find a good husband on the job.

Men used to say X, Y, and Z to each other and there was no problem. Now, if a woman overhears them saying that to each other, they can get fired.

Dear Abby responded:

The next time you run into him in the hall, just say hello. If he has any manners at all, he'll return your greeting and it may melt the ice.

Easy for you to say, DA. You don't have a penis (as far as I know). It's not about manners. It is about survival. Enjoy the world that lawyers, juries, "sensitive" men, and anti-male feminists (not all feminists are anti-male) have created. It's great, isn't it?

Our Long National Nightmare is Almost Over

I have very serious disagreements with Tom Leykis, as I have detailed on this blog before. However, I often enjoyed his "Tom Leykis" talk show and he was a skilled talk show host.

This coming Monday, his contract obligations fulfilled, Leykis returns to performing his signature show, albeit over the Internet rather than terrestrial broadcast/legacy radio. He will have much more freedom and control. April 2 at 3pm Pacific Daylight Time, he's back.

If you have a penis, this show is designed for you. If you are a woman who wants to know how and what many men really think, you should especially listen to his "Leykis 101" which initially runs on Thursdays.

Mom and Dad on a Date Night

My wife and I haven't been getting regular date nights. The last date night we had was months ago. She mentioned that we should go on one. I agree.

Here are the ways we've previously had date nights:

1. Dropping off the kids with my wife's sister and brother-in-law for a few hours.

This is temporarily becoming less of an option, and is going to get worse before it gets better. Maybe it will be a good possibilty again later this year.

2. We go to vist my family and they watch the kids.

When traffic is good, we live about 45-60 minutes from my family... Because my wife insisted on living close to her family.... Most of whom we can't have babysitting the kids.

And what will we talk about on date nights?

Well, have you ever noticed that some people with minor children only seem to talk about their children?

Do you know why?

Because that is all they are doing with their life... raising the children.

I'm either going to be talking about work, the kids, or something on talk radio. My wife is either going to be talking about the kids, couponing, or some way she is accumulating points to covert into gift cards or free stuff we need.

There's nothing new to talk with each other about. We see each other every day. We're not off on adventures apart from each other that we need to fill each other in on.

When we were dating, we were getting to know each other and plan things, so there was that to talk about. And we could talk about the adventures we were having together.

We know each other now, and we're not going on any adventures.

Oh, sure, there are thoughts and interests I don't talk about with my wife. I'm not going to start, either, because it would only cause trouble. I'm not just talking about sexual stuff, but Dennis Prager, who does a weekly apolitical "Male/Female Hour" on this radio show that he calls "the most honest discussion" on terrestrial radio about male-female issues. One recent hour was "Husbands: Do you hide part of your sexual nature from your wife?" Prager urges husbands to be honest and open about their sexual nature, and for wives to accept normal male sexuality, even if they don't fully understand it. This brings true intimacy.

Prager tells the story of how he and a male friend used to exercise together, and how they'd watch the women and point them out to each other and make comments to each other. Prager mentioned something about watching the women at the venue to this man's wife, and she replied, in all seriousness, as though it was just Prager doing that because she "knew" her husband didn't look at other women. Prager said he still has an indentation on his shin where his buddy kicked him under the table as a sign not to correct his wife. According to Dennis, after that, he vowed to himself not to marry a woman with whom he couldn't be honest about his sexual nature.

Sure, ther are some wives - some of them called in during that hour - who will be OK and will even figure out which other women in view will catch their husband's eyes and calmly share the moment with him. "Wow, look at her. She has the kind of hairstyle you like, too." They aren't bothered because they know it is natural on his part and that it doesn't mean he loves or desires her (his wife) any less.

From what I can tell, the women who are prepared to handle something like that are definitely in the minority. Most women aren't prepared to have a husband who is honest about his natural tendency to look at women with this figure or that figure, that kind of walk or this kind of walk, this kind of clothing or that kind of clothing, nor many of his fantasies about what he wants to do with his wife.

If a husband is truly honest and open, the odds are against it paying off.

It might pay off, and he and his wife will be closer as a result and have more fun together as a result.

It is more likely to upset his wife, and perhaps it may do so in a way that will always be there... if even just under the surface, ready to boil over, and sometimes doing just that. It could be more ammunition in fights, and may even be the last straw, setting the man on the course to be shamed before friends and family and the religious congregation, divorced, and visiting his children.

My wife and her sisters are the jealous, territorial type, no doubt because of their father's philandering and their mother's reaction.

So... we'll need to have a date night soon... somehow. And I'd better make a list of subjects to file away in my head so that I don't get accused of withdrawing.

Overall, Things Are Good

Dinner with the in-laws went well enough. My mother-in-law and father-in-law showed up sober. My father-in-law and I didn't say much, just sat. MIL caught up with the kids, and my wife cooked. We ate dinner, talked a bit about how everyone is doing as we ate, and then in-laws left.

Earlier, my wife and told me her plan of taking her mother in another room and telling her that, from now on, if she takes one drink while we are around her, we will leave (usually, this will mean leaving their house). Anyone else can drink, but not my MIL. I told my wife that was not realistic, and since we know when she's going to get out of hand, we know when to leave. The problems have been when we've been in other locations where it isn't so easy to leave quickly without being rude to innocent people.

And then I learned a lesson I should have already learned:

Do not question. There's no point being anything but enthusiastically supportive of my wife's plans and decisions pertaining to her mother's drinking. Because I doubted the effectiveness and motivation of her plan, my wife got angry enough to once again liken my fornicating long before I knew she existed to her mother's drinking.

I have made this connection on this blog before. In my wife's mind, my not being a virgin when we married (very few men are, at that age), is all tied in to her father's adultery and her mother's drinking.

Warning: Gripe Session Ahead!

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?

One of the stresses on the family for this entire calendar year so far has been the distance between my wife and her parents, which is especially irritating since perhaps the most important factor in why we live where we do rather than closer to my family and most of my work is because we are close in proximity to her parents.

More or less every week or two since we married, my wife and I have visited her parents. Her mother loves to have everyone over and to cook for everyone. Every birthday needed to be celebrated there, and if that meant celebrating a birthday twice, then so be it.

Once we had kids, I appreciated having my in-laws (mostly brothers and sisters) take the kids off of my hands for a while.

We continued to go the in-laws' even after the disastrous trip last year. But then, just after Christmas, my wife and the kids joined the rest of her family at the home of a family friend for party. I wasn't there; I was working. I was not avoiding the party, I was expected to work.

My mother-in-law planted herself in a spot and stayed there as my father-in-law continued to supply her with drink after drink, meaning my MIL was not much company. If this had been at their home, my wife would have packed up the kids and returned home. But because they were at someone else's house per that family's invitation, my wife and the kids stayed there.

That meant they got to see grandma, nearly passed out drunk, being dragged to the car by a strong son-in-law.

My father-in-law, in between posting picture after picture on Facebook (always of sexy, scantily-clad 20-something females), supposedly to get his photography business off the ground, "explained" to us that my MIL was not drunk, just tired for working herself so hard. He stopped short of trying to sell us a bridge, however.

The result is that none of us have seen the in-laws at all this year. My wife stopped taking their calls, and they stopped calling. The kids have been asking when we're going to go there again. My wife responds with "I don't know."

I appreciate my wife's desire to protect our kids. We have always agreed that our kids will never be left alone with her parents. I have questioned her reaction to this latest episode, reasoning that we can keep sticking to our plan: calling one of her siblings to see if MIL is drinking before we go there, and leaving if we see things going the wrong way. Her mother has distinct stages of inebriation, so we always have warning. Still, I'd rather her err on the side of protecting our kids than wanting to please her parents.

We currently have plans for her parents to come visit us in our home, as the air needs to be cleared somewhat before a pending family event that my wife does not want to miss.

This is one of those things I wish I had understood better and thought about more befoe committing to this marriage, and certainly before agreeing to buy the house that we did.

Give Your Breath Away

Dr. Laura linked to this article, "5 Reasons to Make Some Noise in the Bedroom", in her daily list of recommended articles. I wonder if she noticed or cared that the author is an "open marriage" advocate, or if she figures "all truth is God’s truth" and questionable sources can still provide worthwhile reading? The author says what I've referred to as "aural sex" can be a matter of health.

Breathing deeply can increase pleasure. It can also keep the fun from ending too soon. Use your breath to regulate the speed of what’s going on. Speed it up to help get you in the mood, and slow it down to prolong the activities.

It's good to use everything we can, right?

It means your partner knows that you are enjoying it.

YES! That’s very important for me to know, anyway.

It keeps you in the moment. If you spend all of your time in bed thinking about keeping quiet so you don't sound "weird,” you’ll miss all of the fun. But, if instead of worrying about how noisy you are, you simply let the sounds fall where, when, and how they may, you can stay present and enjoy all of the presents your partner is gifting you.

We know from other areas of life that thinking about breathing and being deliberate about breathing can impact our physical and mental state.

It shows intimacy. If you can tell your partner what you want in bed, it means you feel close enough to him or her to be comfortable doing that.

I need to work on that. See below.

It means you’re comfortable with your sexuality. Letting it all out is only possible when you feel good about yourself and what you're doing, which is how everyone should feel when it comes to sex.

Here's where I get personal...

I Am Not Dr. Laura Schlessinger

Someone found my blog by searching for...

Dr. Laura fat people

...and then left a couple of comments after my post listing many of the people Dr. Laura Schlessinger has pissed off. I did not publish both comments because one of them contained profanity. To be fair to "Trisha", I will repost both comments here, in their (almost) entirety:

This was obviously written by Dr. Laura herself because I find it VERY hard to believe that anyone could be as c--t-like as her...specially when I read the parts defending her talking trash about fat people and single mothers who decide to take responsibility by raising their children, instead of pushing them off on people who could potentially molest, beat them or end up being a drug addict in which case the child/ren would be much worse off than being with some dreadful...single mom (gasp)!

And...

And by the way, Dr. Laura, I know this won't end up on this blog but I just wanted you to read what a piece of trash I and many think you are.

I am clearly not Dr. Laura. I do not have a Doctorate. I've never identified as Jewish. I'm a follower of Christ. I have a penis and testicles (I 'm not absolutely certain, but it is reasonable to presume Dr. Laura doesn't), I do not have a radio show, and I have more than one child. I have also disagreed with Dr. Laura about some things (mostly minor things and her bias against technology). So clearly, I'm not her. She has her own blog and fancy website and would have no reason to write this blog.

Trisha... bitter, fat, foulmouthed, paranoid, and condemning children to fatherless lives is no way to go through life, and it must suck for the child(ren) to have only one parent, and one who is in such a state.

Having been fat myself, Dr. Laura is right. Fat people, in general, are fat because they eat too much and move too little. There's nothing wrong with that she says about that.

As far as adoption... there are adoptive parents who are good parents. Women can avoid being single mothers by using the many forms of contraception available, or even better, saving sex (or at least intercourse) for a good, compatible man who is willing and able to be a husband and father (choose wisely). Marrying such a man and treating him well (treat kindly) may still result in a woman being a widowed mother. However, Dr. Laura makes a distinction between "widowed, divorced, never married". In the event a woman finds herself without a good husband and pregnant, then yes, there's adoption.

Lashing out at Dr. Laura doesn't change the fact that people have made some poor choices in their lives, and if other people learn not to make those same poor choices, we'll all be better off.

Why Do I Care So Much?

This is another entry in which I discuss marital lovemaking. If you don't want to read about this subject, or read about it as it pertains to my marriage, consider yourself warned.

Good News From the Doctor

About six months ago, my doctor told me my cholesterol was way too high and offered me the choice of medication or trying to lower it through other means.

I told him I'd hold off on the medication.

I did some basic research on what I should and should not be eating if I wanted to lower my cholesterol level.

My wife does most of the grocery shopping in our family, so I gave her a list of things to buy that would help - I only included in the list things I would actually eat. I was honest with myself.

Well, it worked.

I recently went back to my doctor and the latest lab report shows I lowered my level by 50 points. I also dropped a few pounds without getting any more exercise. Actually, I probably got less.

The one thing I really miss is cheese. I love just about any kind of cheese... sharp cheddar, soft cheeses, goat cheese, spicy cheese... argh.... Oh well. I still have a little cheese here and there, but it isn't a regular part of my diet anymore.

It probably helped that we haven't been to my wife's parents' place in two months, not only because of the tasty dinners my MIL prepares, but the appetizer snacks my FIL always puts out while dinner is being made.

Why haven't we seen them in two months, despite living about 15 minutes away from them? That'll have to wait for another update.

How are you??? Any current health/fitness success stories to share?