If you are a Free Man, meaning you don't have a wife and don't live with a woman, I implore you to enjoy your freedom. I also urge you to keep your freedom.
That might sound easy. I mean, don't you have to decide to move in together and don't you have to ask a woman to marry you?
Sure, but it gets more complicated than that.
Some women literally scheme to get pregnant even though you've made it clear you don't want to have children. Some women incrementally move-in-by-stealth. Some women nag and nag and nag (and even get your family to join in) to get you to "propose".
You need to keep boundaries in order to stay a Free Man.
AVOID POP DNA TESTS. Don't buy them for your family, either. You can't stop them being foolish and taking them, but avoid taking one yourself. No good will come from one of those. The only time you should take a DNA test is through the advice and arrangement of your lawyer.
Monk or Ghost
This is the the most extreme way of staying a Free Man without literally going off to be an isolated hermit. Some men decide to avoid women as much as possible. They don't date, they don't have female friends, they don't work for or with women, and they don't have any professional or financial connections to women (for example, they refuse to have a woman as an accountant or doctor). That is extreme, but for some it works.
Stay Present But Independent
This is the less extreme way. You can still participate in society and interact with women. You just need to be persistent and firm in keeping yourself independent. Let's consider how to do this.
Home
The ideal is to own your own place, an independent house, with a wall/fence/gate. It only has to be large enough for you since you don't want to be renting rooms out or living with anyone else. Without needing so much square footage, you can probably get a nicer neighborhood. Avoiding HOAs is good. If you can't truly afford that (including maintenance and enough insurance) or you haven't yet determined where you want to die, then rent a place that isn't set up so that a woman can come to your door unannounced. When you do prepare to buy, consider a revocable trust so that you can make it much harder for people to find your residence if you don't want them knowing your residential address.
Dating
There is no reason to date unless you want physical affection with a woman. Anything else you'd do on a date you can do by yourself or with male friends. If you have a moral objection to getting physical with a woman you'll never marry, then go monk mode when it comes to dating.
Consider "running game."
People you know might try to fix you up, such as co-workers, friends, family, church biddies. But it's best to avoid that. Don't date women who have a nexus to your work and don't date women who know your family or friends, or at least who know that they are your family and friends. You don't want them talking with your family and friends about you with her aware that they are your family and friends or with them aware the guy she's talking about is you.
You don't want to be meeting her family, friends, and especially not her children!
Remember, these women don't need to be marriage - or even girlfriend - material, so that opens up the possibilities. It doesn't matter if they're dating other men. Assume they are, no matter what they say. It doesn't matter if they lie (except for certain false allegations - see below). It doesn't matter what age they are, as long as they are adults. She can have debt, a bad job or even no job, whatever. She can claim she's unable to have children. She can be a terrible conversationalist and dumb as a post. She can be politically opposite from you (don't let her know!) You're not going to be introducing her to your family or coworkers, or living with her, or making babies with her, or marrying her, so none of that matters.
What matters is:
1) She's of age.
2) She turns you on and will do what you want to do in terms of physical affection.
3) She doesn't have a history or making allegations about sexual assault, physical abuse, harassment, stalking, etc. You don't need to be the target of her next round of allegations!
4) She won't give you a serious STD.
Get a Vasectomy - Have it checked twice and then periodically. Never tell a woman you've had a vasectomy unless she tells you "We're pregnant." Bring your own condoms, too, and spoil used condoms with habanero or Tabasco sauce before throwing them in the trash.
Your Identity - It's best she not know your real full name, your real address, your real phone number, your real social media accounts, and where you really work. Remember, you're not looking for a wife. Have an identity that isn't linked to your real life. You do this by memorizing your alter ego, having "burner" social media accounts - NOT using pictures that you have online anywhere else, throwaway email addresses. Use Google Voice or some similar phone service that protects again her knowing your real phone number, even business cards you've made specifically for dates (they can appear to be business cards). Consider taking cab or Uber/Lyft or rented vehicle to dates in case she wants to run the license plate.
Pick the Place - If not going straight to her place, try to meet her for drinks after dinner. If you must go to dinner, eat before and order a simple salad; she will be reluctant to order anything bigger. Try to avoid talking any more than you have to; encourage her to talk while you listen.
Avoid bringing her back to your place. You want the action to be at her place or anywhere other than your place. If you have to, rent a room online.
If, for some reason, a woman does end up at your place, which, again, is something to be avoided, she might want to linger or she might leave something. Try not to let her. You don't want her at your place any longer than necessary. If she does leave something, throw it out and if she asks, you didn't see it. But again, even having her at your place should be avoided in the first place.
The ideal is to own your own place, an independent house, with a wall/fence/gate. It only has to be large enough for you since you don't want to be renting rooms out or living with anyone else. Without needing so much square footage, you can probably get a nicer neighborhood. Avoiding HOAs is good. If you can't truly afford that (including maintenance and enough insurance) or you haven't yet determined where you want to die, then rent a place that isn't set up so that a woman can come to your door unannounced. When you do prepare to buy, consider a revocable trust so that you can make it much harder for people to find your residence if you don't want them knowing your residential address.
Dating
There is no reason to date unless you want physical affection with a woman. Anything else you'd do on a date you can do by yourself or with male friends. If you have a moral objection to getting physical with a woman you'll never marry, then go monk mode when it comes to dating.
Consider "running game."
People you know might try to fix you up, such as co-workers, friends, family, church biddies. But it's best to avoid that. Don't date women who have a nexus to your work and don't date women who know your family or friends, or at least who know that they are your family and friends. You don't want them talking with your family and friends about you with her aware that they are your family and friends or with them aware the guy she's talking about is you.
You don't want to be meeting her family, friends, and especially not her children!
Remember, these women don't need to be marriage - or even girlfriend - material, so that opens up the possibilities. It doesn't matter if they're dating other men. Assume they are, no matter what they say. It doesn't matter if they lie (except for certain false allegations - see below). It doesn't matter what age they are, as long as they are adults. She can have debt, a bad job or even no job, whatever. She can claim she's unable to have children. She can be a terrible conversationalist and dumb as a post. She can be politically opposite from you (don't let her know!) You're not going to be introducing her to your family or coworkers, or living with her, or making babies with her, or marrying her, so none of that matters.
What matters is:
1) She's of age.
2) She turns you on and will do what you want to do in terms of physical affection.
3) She doesn't have a history or making allegations about sexual assault, physical abuse, harassment, stalking, etc. You don't need to be the target of her next round of allegations!
4) She won't give you a serious STD.
Get a Vasectomy - Have it checked twice and then periodically. Never tell a woman you've had a vasectomy unless she tells you "We're pregnant." Bring your own condoms, too, and spoil used condoms with habanero or Tabasco sauce before throwing them in the trash.
Your Identity - It's best she not know your real full name, your real address, your real phone number, your real social media accounts, and where you really work. Remember, you're not looking for a wife. Have an identity that isn't linked to your real life. You do this by memorizing your alter ego, having "burner" social media accounts - NOT using pictures that you have online anywhere else, throwaway email addresses. Use Google Voice or some similar phone service that protects again her knowing your real phone number, even business cards you've made specifically for dates (they can appear to be business cards). Consider taking cab or Uber/Lyft or rented vehicle to dates in case she wants to run the license plate.
Pick the Place - If not going straight to her place, try to meet her for drinks after dinner. If you must go to dinner, eat before and order a simple salad; she will be reluctant to order anything bigger. Try to avoid talking any more than you have to; encourage her to talk while you listen.
Avoid bringing her back to your place. You want the action to be at her place or anywhere other than your place. If you have to, rent a room online.
If, for some reason, a woman does end up at your place, which, again, is something to be avoided, she might want to linger or she might leave something. Try not to let her. You don't want her at your place any longer than necessary. If she does leave something, throw it out and if she asks, you didn't see it. But again, even having her at your place should be avoided in the first place.
Don't spend a lot of time at her place; only as long as necessary, Don't leave anything you want there. One of the reasons to take the action to her place is to be able to leave when you want. You only want to be with her when it is dark, and once per week or less.
Be Careful With Social Media - As I said above, your dates shouldn't know about any social media account of yours unless it is a separate account specifically for dates.
Disable tagging you and checking you in.
If a date wants to take selfies with you or video or live broadcasts, tell her you're trying to cut back on that and you want to focus on what she has to say. Say "Let's put away our phones." You want to concentrate on her without interference from the outside world. She should eat that up. You don't need your phone out, and if she has hers out, it is because she's either talking to another guy she plans to bang later or her friends, who already know she's on a date. The most she'll need to use the phone is to let her contact know you showed up and she's OK (so, maybe twice) and possible to show you pictures.
Three Strikes - If you're not "satisfied" by the end of the third date, stop seeing her. If she rejects your offers for more dates or stops doing what you want to do on the dates, don't ask again. No more dates with her, unless she asks. If she does ask and she doesn't follow through, that's it. No more.
Be Careful With Social Media - As I said above, your dates shouldn't know about any social media account of yours unless it is a separate account specifically for dates.
Disable tagging you and checking you in.
If a date wants to take selfies with you or video or live broadcasts, tell her you're trying to cut back on that and you want to focus on what she has to say. Say "Let's put away our phones." You want to concentrate on her without interference from the outside world. She should eat that up. You don't need your phone out, and if she has hers out, it is because she's either talking to another guy she plans to bang later or her friends, who already know she's on a date. The most she'll need to use the phone is to let her contact know you showed up and she's OK (so, maybe twice) and possible to show you pictures.
Three Strikes - If you're not "satisfied" by the end of the third date, stop seeing her. If she rejects your offers for more dates or stops doing what you want to do on the dates, don't ask again. No more dates with her, unless she asks. If she does ask and she doesn't follow through, that's it. No more.
Overall - Only do what you want to do. Take the lead, though let her talk as much as she wants. You want to move the dates to her place and to her bed/couch/hot tub/shower as quickly as possible.
If you do the things/keep the boundaries above, she might eventually get suspicious or dissatisfied and stop seeing you. There's a good chance that the longer she sees you, the more she will try to move the relationship into bad territory. But if you stand firm and she stops seeing you, you've already gotten the best out of the relationship you were going to get.
Stick to your boundaries. See her as long as she fits the criteria and you have time for her. If you do things well, you'll eventually be too busy with hotter women and your old dates will fall by the wayside if they haven't taken themselves out of your roster already.
Work
If you do the things/keep the boundaries above, she might eventually get suspicious or dissatisfied and stop seeing you. There's a good chance that the longer she sees you, the more she will try to move the relationship into bad territory. But if you stand firm and she stops seeing you, you've already gotten the best out of the relationship you were going to get.
Stick to your boundaries. See her as long as she fits the criteria and you have time for her. If you do things well, you'll eventually be too busy with hotter women and your old dates will fall by the wayside if they haven't taken themselves out of your roster already.
Work
As we're already said, never date a woman with a nexus to your work (unless you have a job you don't care to keep).
For many reasons, the ideal is to work for yourself, and if you do hire someone, hire men.
If you don't work for yourself, keep interactions at work or with co-workers to the barest professional minimum. Do not discuss your life other than work.
Always be looking for better work opportunities. Build up at least a year of liquid funds that will cover your expenses should you lose all income. That way, you can walk away from work if your independence is threatened.
Everything Else
Everything else in your life is voluntary, and that includes being in a religious organization, charity, civic organization or club, professional associations, the hobbies and hobby clubs you have, the friends you keep, and how much you interact with your neighbors and even family members. It's good to have positive networks. When they become consistently more trouble than benefit, walk away. I'm not talking about your parent, if they were a good parent, and they need to be taken care of because they are old. That's different. I'm talking about fights, struggles, arguments, drama, and ESPECIALLY if they won't accept and respect your status as a free man.
In Conclusion
You can stay a Free Man without using all of the tactics described above, but it might take more effort.
The important things are:
Do not promise exclusivity, do not marry, do not live with, do not impregnate, do not co-sign with a woman.
You can stay a Free Man, and have a much more secure and enjoyable life that the poor saps who waste their life slaving away for ungrateful women and arguing with irrational women.
Staying a Free Man as a Churchgoer
Exiting a Relationship With a Single Mother or Shackup Girlfriend
Everything else in your life is voluntary, and that includes being in a religious organization, charity, civic organization or club, professional associations, the hobbies and hobby clubs you have, the friends you keep, and how much you interact with your neighbors and even family members. It's good to have positive networks. When they become consistently more trouble than benefit, walk away. I'm not talking about your parent, if they were a good parent, and they need to be taken care of because they are old. That's different. I'm talking about fights, struggles, arguments, drama, and ESPECIALLY if they won't accept and respect your status as a free man.
In Conclusion
You can stay a Free Man without using all of the tactics described above, but it might take more effort.
The important things are:
Do not promise exclusivity, do not marry, do not live with, do not impregnate, do not co-sign with a woman.
You can stay a Free Man, and have a much more secure and enjoyable life that the poor saps who waste their life slaving away for ungrateful women and arguing with irrational women.
Staying a Free Man as a Churchgoer
Exiting a Relationship With a Single Mother or Shackup Girlfriend
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