I'm Not Done Yet

Someone left a comment after my entry telling men  "You Don't Need a Wife" and I thought it deserved a response in this entry.

Why do you keep writing this blog?

Because I want to.

It's cathartic.

It helps me think through things.

Other men need to be warned that, most likely, they shouldn't marry nor have children. Some men (and women) have expressed that this blog has helped them.

Women don’t need husbands either.

Great! Independent women are great. Of course independent women don't need alimony or taxpayer assistance, which comes more from men than women, or a man to pay their bills.

We. Get. it.

If you don't get anything out of reading this blog, don't. There's so much else to do. Here's a link to a company that will help you find other things. But my guess is that you do get something out of reading this blog, which is why you have and why you commented.

You’re miserable!

Hmm. Well my marriage ranges from misery to a limited, pleasant friendship of necessity, and I can see the possibility of my children turning out to be monsters, but I'm not generally a miserable person. I find ways to enjoy life, even if I'm seriously hindered.

It’s never going to get any better for you.

It might not. I'm not counting on it getting better "if only I pay my dues" or something like that. My main goal right now is to live long enough to get the kids raised. Meanwhile, I will always think about ways to make life better within the obligations and responsibilities I have.

I’ve read your reasons for not divorcing. Get over it. You’re young enough to restart your life. You’ll be better off financially and emotionally in the long run.

I find it hard to believe I'd be better off financially after losing half of everything, paying for two legal teams, having to pay alimony for the rest of my life, and having to pay child support until my children are through college.

She’ll find someone else. The kids will survive with at least one parent with a healthy mindset.

I wouldn't want my kids around any person who would want to take up with my wife. She has far, far lower marriage market value than when we married, so the person who'd take up with her at this points would probably be a real piece of work. I wouldn't want her to have the kids by herself, either. And I wouldn't wish her, and especially her with the kids, on any man.

Even if my marriage was GREAT, it's still true that most men don't need a wife.