Dr. Laura usually gets it right and helps a lot of people, especially the people listening to her program.
Six minutes into the podcast of her program for Friday, February 4, 2022, her first caller was "Peggy."
Peggy sounded nervous, she said she was nervous, and when the call started she couldn't hear Dr. Laura well at first, but that was soon corrected.
PEGGY: I've been married for 25 years. I'm 66 years old, it's my second marriage. My husband is 72. In the beginning of our relationship we fell in love really fast[1], we had great sexual chemistry, and really will still do have great sexual chemistry. The problem is, when I was much younger, I could be multiorgasmic. Over the years that has waned, as I think is a normal type of thing. But my husband still thinks I'm multiorgasmic, and I've faked orgasms, because-
DR. LAURA INTERRUPTING: I don't really understand that. Both of you don't look as good as you used to look when you were younger, nor when you first met. [Dr. Laura continues to talk about looks, skin, etc., to try to make the point that they've "adapted" to that.] You've decided to play a game and not trust your man. You've not explained to him that "My sexuality has changed, one, on the outside, two, I'm good, I'm really good. I feel great. I don't need to have the 82 while you're still up. It just doesn't work that way anymore because I'm sixty-something." Tell the truth. You don't have to tell him you've been faking it. Just start telling him the truth from now on.
PEGGY: I've left this one little piece out. I-
DR. LAURA INTERRUPTING: WHY? Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! I KNOW you're hearing "shush." I know you're hearing that. Why should I listen to the thing you're going to drop in that you didn't think was important enough to put up front?[2]
PEGGY: [Apologizes]
DR. LAURA: Why did you hold it back? "I held it back because..."
PEGGY: I held it back because I should have started with that instead of trying to add it at the end. I should have started with what I was going to say to you.
DR. LAURA: And the reason you didn't start with it is...?
PEGGY: Because I'm nervous-
[Eventually Peggy is allowed to continue.]
PEGGY: I'm going to say recently, without the last six to eight months, we just made a move. We moved from one state to another state and we're in the middle of building a house. Sometimes we don't have time for sex because we're very busy.[3] My husband started buying these toys for me, like vibrators and so on. Because I did tell him, you know "I am getting older, I'm tired, I'm good with one or two orgasms" and if we don't do it every night for him he seems so disappointed. And last week he was pushing pushing pushing-
DR. LAURA INTERRUPTING: SHHHH SHHHHH SHHH "Honey, I love you. Pushing is not sexy. It's not romantic, and it's not loving. It's treating me like a prostitute.[4] You've decided you need a sexual release every day and I should do it no matter how I feel. That's not loving." It's called truth. [Dr. Laura repeats how it's not sexy, not romantic, the truth, etc. - PLEASE NOTE that it is her program and she can repeat as much as she wants, even though she tells callers not to repeat.] Is he taking pills or testosterone?
PEGGY: No, and he doesn't always take care himself. He wants to please me, because he thinks I need to be pleased that much.
DR. LAURA: Then you need to tell him the truth. Your drop-in precludes him caring about you. It doesn't sound like he cares about you. If he doesn't do it every night he's disappointed. That's not caring about you. You've been misinterpreting that dear.[5]
Since Dr. Laura encouraged Peggy to say "the truth" to her husband, Peggy said he was on a business trip, apparently to indicate that she'd talk to him when she could do so face-to-face. Dr. Laura cut her off and said "and there's no such thing as a phone."[6] Then hung up on her before she could say more on the air, as she was trying.
Notes:
Six minutes into the podcast of her program for Friday, February 4, 2022, her first caller was "Peggy."
Peggy sounded nervous, she said she was nervous, and when the call started she couldn't hear Dr. Laura well at first, but that was soon corrected.
PEGGY: I've been married for 25 years. I'm 66 years old, it's my second marriage. My husband is 72. In the beginning of our relationship we fell in love really fast[1], we had great sexual chemistry, and really will still do have great sexual chemistry. The problem is, when I was much younger, I could be multiorgasmic. Over the years that has waned, as I think is a normal type of thing. But my husband still thinks I'm multiorgasmic, and I've faked orgasms, because-
DR. LAURA INTERRUPTING: I don't really understand that. Both of you don't look as good as you used to look when you were younger, nor when you first met. [Dr. Laura continues to talk about looks, skin, etc., to try to make the point that they've "adapted" to that.] You've decided to play a game and not trust your man. You've not explained to him that "My sexuality has changed, one, on the outside, two, I'm good, I'm really good. I feel great. I don't need to have the 82 while you're still up. It just doesn't work that way anymore because I'm sixty-something." Tell the truth. You don't have to tell him you've been faking it. Just start telling him the truth from now on.
PEGGY: I've left this one little piece out. I-
DR. LAURA INTERRUPTING: WHY? Shhh! Shhh! Shhh! I KNOW you're hearing "shush." I know you're hearing that. Why should I listen to the thing you're going to drop in that you didn't think was important enough to put up front?[2]
PEGGY: [Apologizes]
DR. LAURA: Why did you hold it back? "I held it back because..."
PEGGY: I held it back because I should have started with that instead of trying to add it at the end. I should have started with what I was going to say to you.
DR. LAURA: And the reason you didn't start with it is...?
PEGGY: Because I'm nervous-
[Eventually Peggy is allowed to continue.]
PEGGY: I'm going to say recently, without the last six to eight months, we just made a move. We moved from one state to another state and we're in the middle of building a house. Sometimes we don't have time for sex because we're very busy.[3] My husband started buying these toys for me, like vibrators and so on. Because I did tell him, you know "I am getting older, I'm tired, I'm good with one or two orgasms" and if we don't do it every night for him he seems so disappointed. And last week he was pushing pushing pushing-
DR. LAURA INTERRUPTING: SHHHH SHHHHH SHHH "Honey, I love you. Pushing is not sexy. It's not romantic, and it's not loving. It's treating me like a prostitute.[4] You've decided you need a sexual release every day and I should do it no matter how I feel. That's not loving." It's called truth. [Dr. Laura repeats how it's not sexy, not romantic, the truth, etc. - PLEASE NOTE that it is her program and she can repeat as much as she wants, even though she tells callers not to repeat.] Is he taking pills or testosterone?
PEGGY: No, and he doesn't always take care himself. He wants to please me, because he thinks I need to be pleased that much.
DR. LAURA: Then you need to tell him the truth. Your drop-in precludes him caring about you. It doesn't sound like he cares about you. If he doesn't do it every night he's disappointed. That's not caring about you. You've been misinterpreting that dear.[5]
Since Dr. Laura encouraged Peggy to say "the truth" to her husband, Peggy said he was on a business trip, apparently to indicate that she'd talk to him when she could do so face-to-face. Dr. Laura cut her off and said "and there's no such thing as a phone."[6] Then hung up on her before she could say more on the air, as she was trying.
Notes:
1. Dr. Laura will often stop callers and ask how fast things happened. She also usually asks what happened to the first marriage. It might be relevant. She wasn't interested enough to ask this time, probably because the marriage has lasted so long.
2. The real answer is that she didn't include that because Dr. Laura cut her off. The stuff Peggy had said was all necessary background. Dr. Laura had cut her off and didn't let her include everything. But Peggy can't say that because Dr. Laura will get irritated at least, and might hang up. So for a couple of minutes, the call is going to be critiquing HOW the caller has done the call so far and trying to get the caller to say WHY it happened that way, making the caller make something up.
3. Dr. Laura has told many other callers they have to make time and energy for sex. The have to drop something else, or get help with other things, to make their marriage their priority. That went unsaid this time.
4. Got that, guys? "Pushing" for sex is treating your wife like a prostitute. Prostitutes get paid for sex. Wives get paid, period.
5. This is Dr. Laura trying to save face. Peggy made it very clear, even though she was cut off more than once, that her husband isn't trying to get himself off, he's trying to make sure his wife, who apparently had a high drive and has previously enjoyed multiple orgasms each time, is satisfied. That's why he bought vibrators. What Peggy was looking for was how to tell him she is no longer able to orgasm as much and that there's nothing wrong with that and he's not letting her down.
6. Dr. Laura has, in other situations, urged people to talk face-to-face.
It's possible there was something on her screen or Peggy had sent an email and Dr. Laura was taking that into account, but we can only evaluate the call based on what was said on the program.
Guys, avoid these problems. Stay free!!!
2. The real answer is that she didn't include that because Dr. Laura cut her off. The stuff Peggy had said was all necessary background. Dr. Laura had cut her off and didn't let her include everything. But Peggy can't say that because Dr. Laura will get irritated at least, and might hang up. So for a couple of minutes, the call is going to be critiquing HOW the caller has done the call so far and trying to get the caller to say WHY it happened that way, making the caller make something up.
3. Dr. Laura has told many other callers they have to make time and energy for sex. The have to drop something else, or get help with other things, to make their marriage their priority. That went unsaid this time.
4. Got that, guys? "Pushing" for sex is treating your wife like a prostitute. Prostitutes get paid for sex. Wives get paid, period.
5. This is Dr. Laura trying to save face. Peggy made it very clear, even though she was cut off more than once, that her husband isn't trying to get himself off, he's trying to make sure his wife, who apparently had a high drive and has previously enjoyed multiple orgasms each time, is satisfied. That's why he bought vibrators. What Peggy was looking for was how to tell him she is no longer able to orgasm as much and that there's nothing wrong with that and he's not letting her down.
6. Dr. Laura has, in other situations, urged people to talk face-to-face.
It's possible there was something on her screen or Peggy had sent an email and Dr. Laura was taking that into account, but we can only evaluate the call based on what was said on the program.
Guys, avoid these problems. Stay free!!!
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