Cats and Batteries

Part of Dennis Prager’s selling of marriage involves selling women on marriage. To his credit, he doesn’t just focus on selling marriage to men. Fortunately, for him, he got a call to his show, which I heard, that he turned into this column. I have no idea if she was one of those hired callers some shows use.

I found the column at Townhall, which is part of Salem, the company replacing Michael Medved with Sebastian Gorka at the end of the year. There, the column had the headline ”A Message to Young Women from a Career Woman”.

Every Wednesday, the second hour of my national radio show is the "Male/Female Hour." A few weeks ago, a woman named Jennifer called in. For reasons of space, I have somewhat shortened her comments. Every young woman should read them. This is precisely what she said:

Every young woman.

Does Something Have to be Wrong?

The second to last call on the Dr. Laura show yesterday, Monday, November 26, was from a woman who said her 14 year-old daughter told her (prompted by a discussion of about abortion) that she'd engaged in sexual activity a couple of times, and that this wasn't with a boyfriend, but rather these were casual encounters.

The first thing Dr. Laura asked about the girl's father. When the caller indicated that she's married to her daughter's biological father and that he's a good, involved father, Dr. Laura coudn't blame the girl's behavior on a divorce or bad or absent father, so she repeatedly said "Something's wrong!" and urged the mother to get her daughter into therapy.

According to what Dr. Laura said, she was thinking the girl was seeking male approval, but the caller saying what she did about her husband knocked that away.

What I don't understand is how Dr. Laura dismisses the possibility that a hormonal teenaged girl simply wanted to mess around because it is fun and exciting, and her desire to do so outweighed any concerns she had about possible negative consequences? Wouldn't that be NORMAL for most teenagers? Isn't that why some parents and religious organizations spend a lot of time, money, and energy warning teenagers about the risks of young, unmarried sexual activity?

It just seemed like an odd call, but then yesterday Dr. Laura seemed to have less patience or desire to "work hard" than usual. She was hanging up on callers stuff like that.

I'd be interested in the caller following up with another call or letter if she finds out anything unusual.

Dr. Laura will usually blame any deviation from the ideal life plan she teaches (which I largely agree with is the right way to do things) as the cause of whatever she sees as a problem in the caller's life, which is often spot-on but sometimes I'm not so sure. For example, she's told a caller "Your daughter is doing [whatever the problem behavior is] because you divorced her dad and married someone else." But when I remember my sister doing the same things while our biological parents were still happily married, how does that compute? Clearly my sister wasn't doing it because of a divorce and remarriage. And maybe the caller's daughter is doing something for another reason, too.

Don't Be This Guy

Reading the Dear Abby column an result in daily facepalms. Just check out this recent letter by HUNG UP ON THE RING IN RENO:

My girlfriend and I love each other very much and have been living together with our children for five years. 

Ugh. Either they have children together, they brought in children from other relationships, or both. He doesn't say. If she already had minor kids he shouldn't have dated her. If he already had minor kids, he shouldn't have introduced his new lover to his kids. Shacking up is a terrible idea in general, but even more so with kids. And then if they had kids together outside of marriage, that was a horrible thing to do.

We intend to get married soon.

Why bother?

Here is the rub: She's "old school." She believes she should receive a diamond ring as part of the marriage proposal.

MUHUHUHUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA! Old school?!? That's a good one. Old school.

OLD SCHOOL WOMEN DON'T SHACK UP!!!

Now Is the Time, Guys

Here in the USA, Thanksgiving is on the way (11/22!!!), and then it'll be Hanukkah, Christmas, Festivus, New Year's Eve/Day, and then Valentine's Day.

Thanksgiving, even more than Christmas Day, is when family gets together. We get two straight days as official holidays, attached to a weekend.

This is where the pitfalls are for a man who wants to be or remain free.

If you spend time with her family/friends, or she with yours, she'll be thinking you are the one she's going to attach to for the long haul. She might even be expecting a ring, or if you've given her one, talk of a wedding. Certainly she'll be expecting expensive gifts and having you jump through a bunch of hoops.

Avoid all of that.

Who needs that expense? Who needs the drama? Who needs a girlfriend who wants to be your fiancee? Who needs a fiancee who wants to be your wife?

You don't want to spend time with her family and friends, or have her spend time with yours. You don't want her getting the idea that you're serious. You need to be a free man.

If she's asking or even just hinting that she wants to move in together, get engaged, get married, have a kid, or even just "define the relationship" or has asked, "Where is this going?", now is the time to become really scarce or outright ghost her, at least until February 15. If she has a birthday or your "anniversary" with her is in late February or early March, extend the break until after that. It will save you so much time, money, and hassle. 

You shouldn't have a girlfriend at all, but if you do, you need to take evasive action NOW. Especially if you're living with her or she's got at least one minor or dependent child.

Please see something I wrote before about dealing with the holidays.