Despite my wife having recently said she wants us to have sex twice per week (I told her, in response, I'd like it every other day), we're still around once every three to four weeks. There are many reasons this is so, but it is a good example of how women SAY they want something a certain way, but then will BEHAVE in ways that say otherwise.
Early yesterday, She TOLD me she WOULD have me that night (like an order, because that is a turn-on to the average husband, right?). So I thought about it throughout the day to mentally prepare myself.
Then as the time drew near, she "asked" if it could wait 24 hours.
What kind of a question is that?
What can I say in response?
"No, that's not OK. We need to do it tonight!" Yeah, that's romantic, right? A lot of people would call me a rapist if we ended up having sex. Anyway, it's not easy for me to get aroused when she's made it clear she doesn't want it. I mean, she's indicated that she generally doesn't want it, but if it is apparent she doesn't want it at the moment, it's very discouraging.
Of course, I "agreed" to delay until tonight, knowing there's a 9-in-10 chance she'll cancel again. So far, we're still on for tonight, but that can change at any moment. If the moment does arrive, unfortunately, I'll feel like I'm imposing on her because there have been many ways she's communicated to me that this is something she's doing out of obligation to me. I know there are guys who get turned out by something like that. I'm not one of them. I've never wanted a hostage. I've never wanted to feel like I'm a chore or that it is a burden to have me do something like cunnilingus, and I certainly don't want to feel like she can barely tolerate me.
If we were unmarried and childless, and this the way it was, we wouldn't be together anymore. I would have left a long time ago. But here I am... being her butler and her ATM... obligated to financially support her for the rest of my life regardless of what she does, whether she leaves or stays, whether I get kicked out of my own home or I'm allowed to stay.
I got far more sex in my wayward youth. But even if I was living a celibate life, I'd be so much better off living alone, free from these obligations. I should never have married. If you think this is just a problem with me, you're wrong. Most men shouldn't marry. The odds are against having a lasting, happy marriage. Don't make the mistakes I did.
A look at the world from a sometimes sarcastic, tongue-in-cheek, decidedly American male perspective. Lately, this blog has been mostly about gender issues, dating, marriage, divorce, sex, and parenting via analyzing talk radio, advice columns, news stories, religion, and pop culture in general. I often challenge common platitudes, arguments. and subcultural elements perpetuated by fellow Evangelicals, social conservatives. Read at your own risk.
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Thursday, March 22, 2018
1 comment:
Please no "cussing" or profanities or your comment won't be published. I have to approve your comment before it appears. I won't reject your comment for disagreement - I actually welcome disagreement. But I will not allow libelous comments (which is my main reason for requiring approval) and please try to avoid profanities. Thanks!
My ex used to try to pull that on me. It's a control move and the best thing to do is hold her to her word and bang the living garbage out of her. My ex would start with the guilt trip but never failed to orgasm during the sex. We didn't have kids and she made more money than me, so she had no leverage. It's not the way I wanted to obtain sex but our wedding vow was one of monogamy, not celibacy.
ReplyDeleteThis is my first visit to your blog. Keep up the good work!