A Man Can Only Take So Much

KEEPING MUM IN CLEVELAND wrote in to Dear Abby, saying he doesn't know why his wife of twenty years married him.

After our wedding she tried to give me an image makeover.

Uh-oh. Apparently she thought she had a magic vagina that could change you. She didn't realize she was getting you as-is. I write this as someone who was happy to let a girlfriend give me a makeover. The thing was, I was willing.

She'd buy me clothes I left hanging in the closet.

She probably did the same for herself.

She'd contradict and correct me in public.

No she didn't! Sorry. Ugh. That's the worst, unless you're slandering people and she has to put a stop to it. She's disrespecting you, one of the worst things a wife can do to a husband.

In general, she'd find fault with almost everything I did. She put me down often, and if I reacted, she would either claim it wasn't what she meant to say or tell me, "You do it, too."

She didn’t display any of this behavior before you married? Because if she was acting like this and you were still foolish enough to get down on your knee and beg her to take expensive jewelry from you, then you literally asked for it.

I finally gave up and left her.

No surprise. I wonder how many tongues wagged and said he was breaking his vows, as if she hadn't been breaking hers?

Margaret has an excellent reputation, so people try to pry into why I left her. When I tell them I won't bad-mouth her, they tell me she says plenty about me. My response is, "Then you know all there is to know, don't you?"

You're taking the high road. Unless they were in the wedding party, tell them it is none of their business.

Two women close to my age, plus one college-age girl, are trying to pursue me. I'm afraid if I don't leave this area, Margaret will allege that I left her for one of them.

Why do you care? Date all three of them. Let your ex-wife squawk all she wants. The proof will be in what happens with the other women.

Even Dear Abby replied:

An effective way to ensure that no one spreads a rumor that you left Margaret for one woman would be to spend time being seen dating all of them.

Heh heh.

Hey, pal, whatever you do, don't make the mistake so many newly divorced guys make of jumping into marriage with any of them. You need to figure out why you married your ex-wife in the first place. And maybe (although chances are extremely slim) your ex-wife will truly change because of finally being dumped, and you can reconcile. But again, chances of that are very slim.